Having fertile friends never gets easier does it... — The Bump
Success after IF

Having fertile friends never gets easier does it...

One of my friends I have made recently has an almost honeymoon baby and 100% sure she is the most fertile person on earth.  She is now talking on and on about how she had sex 1 time this month but it was on her perfect day of the month and she thinks she could be pregnant (just had sex on the weekend) and already thinks she is having symptoms.  I am going to lose my mind!  I think she is a great girl and a great friend.  But it breaks my heart to hear her talk about how fertile she is.  I would love to "opps" be pregnant.  Not planned either.  Oh and I told her how stats show there is only a 25% chance even if you do have perfect timing and she said for her that would be like a 75% chance.  ugh.

She also told me a few weeks ago that if she had fertility problems like I did she would have gone straight to adoption because she doensn't "believe" in fertility treatment. That is is the way to slow down the population.  *sigh*  People that haven't been through it will never understand no matter how much you explain it to them.

I wouldn't chance anything I went through.  I look at my son and think of how lucky I am and that he is my little peace of heaven on earth. 

I am already trying to prepare myself for her big annoncement in 12 days.  I have no idea how I am going to handle this and not crumble in front of her. :(

Twins:BabyFruit TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker


Re: Having fertile friends never gets easier does it...

  • I'm sorry. That sounds so annoying. 
    IVF, ICSI, acupuncture, meditation and a miracle... our baby girl is here!
    <BR> <BR>
    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/t/tjwbmol5c.png[/IMG][/URL]
    <BR> <BR>
    Our sweet Valentine's day FET


    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16ce05.aspx[/img][/url]
  • I think the situation would be easier if she had an ounce of tact or understanding. This: "She also told me a few weeks ago that if she had fertility problems like I did she would have gone straight to adoption because she doensn't "believe" in fertility treatment. That is is the way to slow down the population.  *sigh*  People that haven't been through it will never understand no matter how much you explain it to them." IMHO says she doesn't have the empathy to be a good friend. I am sorry your dealing with her.
  • Loading the player...
  • I'm sorry. Your feelings are understandable. ((HUGS))

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

    imageimage

     

     

     

  • I understand having fertile friends.  My bff had an oops baby and then is pg now on first month trying.  However you friend sounds so insensitive.  The comment about infertility, especially after knowing your issues, would send me out looking for a new friend.
    Dx with PCOS and IR June 2009
    After two losses, third time was a charm.
    pm me for blog link
  • imagekittylove:
    I think the situation would be easier if she had an ounce of tact or understanding. This: "She also told me a few weeks ago that if she had fertility problems like I did she would have gone straight to adoption because she doensn't "believe" in fertility treatment. That is is the way to slow down the population.  *sigh*  People that haven't been through it will never understand no matter how much you explain it to them." IMHO says she doesn't have the empathy to be a good friend. I am sorry your dealing with her.

    I totally agree with this. I would maybe excuse the very stupid comment if she did not know about your IF.

    For DD - IVF/ICSI #1 - BFP / For DS - dIUI #1 - BFP Dx:severe MFI-Y Chromosome Microdeletion Isabel born 10-15-08! / Baby Boy EDD July 2013 imageLily  pie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Im sorry. That is just terrible. If shes such a good friend she should be a little sensitive given your history.
    TTC since 8/07 DX - Severe MFI/azoospermia & MTHFR/ TESEs found sperm - 7/08 & 6/09/ 12/08 - IVF#1 - BFN/ 6/09 - IVF #2 - cancelled due to OHSS risk (had retrieval)/ 7/09 - FET #1 - BFN/ 9/09 - FET #2 - BFN/ 11/09 - IVF #3 with new RE cancelled twice - 10/09 & 11/09/ 1/10 - IVF #3 take 3 - BFN/ 4/10 - IVF #4 - first ever BFP on 5/13/10!!! 108 @ 10dp3dt/ 2nd beta 311!/ sono on 5/28/10 said TWINS!!!! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • imageSallyAnneS:

    She also told me a few weeks ago that if she had fertility problems like I did she would have gone straight to adoption because she doensn't "believe" in fertility treatment. That is is the way to slow down the population.  *sigh*  People that haven't been through it will never understand no matter how much you explain it to them.

    Wow seriously?  My response would have been I wish they'd started to slow down the population with you and then I would have lost her number.  Sorry but I don't know how you can be friends with someone like that, you are a stronger and nicer person then me.

    TTC since 8/2004
    Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
    DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
    DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Ouch!  I think I'd find myself withdrawing from her more and more.  Otherwise I'd get to the point where I'd be afraid I'd punch her in the face. :(
    Married 9-4-04

    ***PM me for my IF history***

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
  • imagekittylove:
    I think the situation would be easier if she had an ounce of tact or understanding.

    IMHO says she doesn't have the empathy to be a good friend.

    Both of these statements.  You can be fertile but still have tact and empathy.  She has neither.  I had someone in my life like this.  Emphasis on "had". 
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • A friend does not need to wear the same shoes to empathize with a friend walking a mile with blisters. This person is NOT a friend. Drop her like a hot potato!
    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • Nope, doesn't seem to get easier. Even though now I have my little man and couldn't be happier, sometimes when other people get pregnant so quickly I still thinks its unfair. I don't wish IF on anyone of course, but people who get pregnant just thinking about it, still annoy me. Especially people who say things as tactless as your friend :( Sorry...
    TTC since Sept 2008
    2 Failed IUI's,
    1 Failed IVF,
    FET#1-BFP!
    ET 1/26, Beta#1 2/4=248, Beta #2 2/7=656, 2/17 1st u/s- 1 perfect baby!
    2nd u/s -we have a heartbeat! 146bpm
    It's a BOY!!!
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1f.lilypie.com/0SU5m4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers" /></a>
    [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/o7m6na.jpg[/IMG]
  • The whole "slow down the population" argument really, really pisses me off. If she really feels like the population is growing too rapidly then she should stop adding to it herself. Don't pop out babies like it's your job while looking at couples struggling with IF and saying they shouldn't have kids because there are too many people in this world. I am so sorry your friend just doesn't get it.
    image
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
  • Thanks for understanding ladies.  I have been lurking but havn't posted in a long time and didn't know where else to turn.

    I was so shocked by her population comment that I don't think I even said anything back to her.  Which I should have of course.  I don't like to cause problems or really stand up for myself because I am so shy.  But I agree her attitude is a real issue with me.  How do I slow down a friendship though? We will still see each other weekly at a mommy group.  :( 

    Twins:BabyFruit TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • imageSallyAnneS:

    How do I slow down a friendship though? We will still see each other weekly at a mommy group.  :( 

    I would focus on talking to other moms, and I wouldn't do anything w/ her one on one. 
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards