Natural Birth
anna7602
member
Would you get a doula for a 2nd birth?
anna7602
member
I looooved my doula, but she is no longer practicing. DH and I were just talking last night about whether I would get another one if we have another baby. He had just assumed I would, I thought maybe he had watched her, picked up a few tips and could perhaps do the doula-thing himself next time. Plus, I imagine labor will go a lot faster next time and that I'll have a better idea of what to expect without someone talking me through all of it. (Naive, perhaps?)
So, would you? Why or why not?
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Re: Would you get a doula for a 2nd birth?
Labor MAY go faster with your second pregnancy, but not for all women.
Also, unless your husband is a medical guy, chances are he was too busy focusing on you/anticipation and not really paying attention to the doula. I mean, many husbands can be great advocates for a their wives, but it's not like they have a vagina or have ever given birth, kwim?
I'd ask your doula if she knows anybody good.
I'll talk it over with DH when the time comes, but I would lean toward a doula again. I had a good birth experience, but I think she had a lot to do with why I did and I'm not really that confident DH would know what to do in the heat of the moment.
I do think I'll probably be more confident... but only if things go the same. If I have different challenges, I'll be equally surprised/confused and looking for more experience to guide me.
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I would, and did, even though we had moved out of state and couldn't use the same doula. DH insisted, because he felt more comfortable knowing it wasn't ALL on his shoulders if I had a long or difficult labor.
We've hired her again for this birth. We could probably do without her, because we're having a homebirth and will have lots of support from our midwives, but I want her there and it can't hurt! If we were having a hospital birth, I'd have a doula for sure, no questions asked.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
I'm due in June with my 2nd and we hired our doula last month. Just like every pregnancy can be different, every labor and birth can be too.
Also, just because your DH witnessed one labor/birth certainly doesn't mean he'll have the knowledge and confidence to go it alone this time.
I didn't have a Doula but I delivered in a birth center in a hospital where I had a nurse that was dedicated to me. We had thought about getting a doula but decided not to because the nurses there pretty much act as doulas since they only have one patient at a time and will stay with you until you deliver. The nurse was wonderful! My husband was very supportive but at one point I started to hyperventilate (did not happen with my first and I was not expecting it) which completely freaked out my husband. He thought I was going to die and so did I at the time. The nurse laid down next to me on the bed and got right in my face and helped me get my breathing under control. I think I probably would have passed out if it wasn't for that nurse. My husband was great but sometimes you need someone else who wont freak out if things get scary.
Oh, and my second labor was longer than my first. Not everyone's second is shorter, so I wouldn't make decisions based on that assumption.
I'm planning on it specifically because my H sucked as a birth partner for my first.
A million times this!
My second labor was totally different from my first, and I'm sure a third would be different still. The reasons for hiring a doula don't change with subsequent births -- they just get reinforced. Doulas do important work!
A million times this!
My second labor was totally different from my first, and I'm sure a third would be different still. The reasons for hiring a doula don't change with subsequent births -- they just get reinforced. Doulas do important work!