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Never been so close to hitting someone else's kid....
Aggggg. I have my niece (10) and nephew (6 1/2) for the day. They're good kids and I have them frequently since my sister works during the day and I'm happy to have them on an inservice day or a couple days a week in the summer.
So today while my 2 year old is napping I have to tell my nephew to quiet down a half dozen times. The last time I tell him I can see him start to get an attitude (hunched shoulders, head down). I tell him to turn around and acknowledge me. He hunkers down more. I tell him to turn around. He finally turns his head enough to glare at me. I tell him he's got 3 seconds to tell me he heard me and he'll be quiet or he can put his toys on the table and sit in the corner. 1, 2, 3. I tell him to put his toys up and sit in the corner. Nothing. So I go take his toy and he starts bawling! Loud. I grab him by his arm and move him to the corner. I am fuming at this point. Wanting to wring his neck. He has the nastiest attitude sometimes and I just don't know how to get through to him that it's his attitude when being given direction that gets him in trouble.
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Re: Never been so close to hitting someone else's kid....
I have been watching my cousin's child (my cousin is a teacher) and I SAH, so I gladly watch her child (she's 2). She can be just as you explain your nephew to be!! I understand at her age, it's not on purpose, but I swear by this... She knows that she is doing it. I can say, "Be quiet sweetie, LO is napping (he wakes up at the sound of my blinks!!)." Nothing. "This is your warning, don't be loud in the house again. We can be loud outside, but inside we are quiet." Nothing. "If you yell again, you are going to time-out." NOTHING!!! I usually give her a chance to come to me and I walk her to time-out... Well, here's how that goes:
"Come here." Nothing. "I'm going to ask you one more time... Come here." Nothing. "Once she sees me get up she ackowledges me and runs to me." She knows I mean business.
It's just something about her ignoring me, I don't think I could be okay with my child acting like this if he knew he was doing wrong... Oh well, I guess it's just the parenting styles.
Bahahaha! That thought crossed my mind as I was reading this.
Ditto.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
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I missed that post but it Sounds like it was entertaining.
You sound lovely.
YEP!
You got issues lady...
Noel - August 2010
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Your child will probably do this at two, too. They test the limits and want to see that you'll consistantly respond the same way.
I love it when people who don't have toddlers yet think they know it all.
AWESOME!!!
Why didn't you just redirect his attention to another more appropriate activity. It is obvious that he couldn't play with his toy quietly. Maybe try playdoh or coloring books/crayons. It would have also been a great time to break out paints with your LO sleeping.
I think your response only made matters worse - you have to choose what is more important, your LO's nap or trying to prove your boss to a 6 year old that isn't yours.
I told my sister exactly what happened when she came over for dinner/to pick the kids up but thank you all for being so incredibly supportive. I'm glad that you think glaring and not listening is an okay behavior. One that should even be rewarded by bringing out more fun activities to do. After all nothing says your behavior is inappropriate like "Hey, lets do something really fun like painting or coloring" (Which, by the way, they had been doing all morning.) Good luck with your kids ladies. I hope they turn out just like you!
I don't get it either. I would expect my 5.5 yo to behave better than that. I have taken her and physically moved her when she wouldn't listen. I think her only mistake was saying she wanted to wring his neck on a public message board.
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You'd feel such rage that you'd feel the desire to hit a child over that silly little scenario? The kid doesnt have a "nasty attitude"-he's 6! A kid not sitting in complete silence playing with their toys while their cousin sleeps and testing limits is pretty normal 6 year old behavior.
Well ladies if the kid is anything like my 6 year old nephew they can have nasty little attitudes. And I have wanted to wring his neck a time or two. Do I? No! But when he's sassing for no reason or not listening yes, I want to and then do pretty much what she did. Give him a break away from the toy if he's not going to listen and chooses to glare at an adult disrespectfully.
I equate this post to those where people want to throat-punch their MIL. No one actually does.
Just so I'm clear - your position is that the CHILD's behavior should be corrected in this case, but the CHILD CARE PROVIDER's actions are perfectly ok?
So, kids should behave better than the adults watching them???
And I suppose if the child had grabbed her and said he wanted to wring her neck, he'd be a devil child.
But the OP has leeway to do as she likes, as the adult, since there are no such guidelines for her behavior???
Maybe we're interpreting what happened differently. How is taking a toy away from him and putting him in time out bad adult behavior?
She's mad at him because of his "attitude." Please show me how on earth she's being an appropriate role model for a proper attitude??? She wants to "wring his neck" because he's playing!!!
I don't think anyone is suggesting that she "reward" him but that it's highly inappropriate to expect a six year old to play quietly for two hours while a toddler naps.
She needs to set up a playroom somewhere that won't disturb her child or play with him and keep him engrossed in different activities the whole time. Just leaving him on his own and expecting him to play quietly for that length of time is not going to work.
And, is no one else worried about the "someone else's kid" qualifier in her title?
This is pretty much what I was trying to say. She's venting here and using figures of speech to convey how frustrated she was with the situation...I don't think that necessarily reflects how she actually reacted to the child at the time. Also, most six year olds are in a first grade classroom for six hours out of the day, so I do think they're capable of controlling themselves for a period of time. I didn't get that she wanted him to sit in complete silence for two hours straight, just that she wanted him not to yell.
I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I just saw this as her letting off steam after the fact. I agree that there are better ways for her to approach the issue in the future, but the torches and pitchforks just seem a little overdone to me.
I was going to stay away from this one but....I agree with Hizzo and Kate. I don't think it's as big of a deal as it may sound. I doubt she told him she wanted to wring his neck.
I don't agree with saying she wants to hit him or grabbing him by the arm BUT I would definitely be annoyed if my nephew treated me like that too. I think a 6 year old that refuses to look up or whatever it was he did is not the norm. Kids might do stuff like that to their parents but in my experience, kids are usually better for others and I'd be super annoyed too.
I remember that!
I think this is wrong. Of course you sometimes have to step back and re-evaluate. We're only human, and sometimes we do find ourselves stuck in a no-win situation like the OP, where the situation we've set up is so impossible it can only end with extreme behavior.
At that point, we can either be as stubborn as the children we're caring for, or we can be the adult and say, "you know what, Timmy - I was wrong. I can't ask you to sit quietly alone for two hours, since that's a really long time. Maybe we can find something to do together that we'd both enjoy and that we can do quietly?"