TTC after 35

Difficult day...nothing but news of pregancies and births :-(

tyring to stay positive and happy for everyone and trying to not be the bitter infertile but it's hard. I am sitting at my desk listening to pregnancy news about 2 pregnant co-workers - 1 I already knew about but the other I didn't. The newest news is about a co-worker who is 43 and the pregnancy was a surprise - she got remarried last year and between her and her DH they have 5 children - of course I am happy for her and pray for a healthly baby but man is this hard. Sad The co-worker who is sharing the news doesnt know my issues but the others listening to the stories do. One of which is also pregnant and just found out 2 weeks ago. Christmas day I learned my cousin, who already has 4 kids, is pregnant again and so is DH's cousin, who also has a DS. One of my friend's sisters had a little girl today. So 2012 will be filled with babies and showers and I am fighting to stay happy for everyone as I listen to the "what's meant to be will be" comments.

Praying for us all.

Sorry for the ramble. just needed to vent - I'm done now.

M-43 DOR (FSH 20 AMH 0.16, AFC 4-6) Endo stage III DH-42 (low everything)
TTC #1 unofficially since 6/09, officially since 10/10
6/11 RE testing,rt tube blocked with hydro, 8/11 lap surgery rt tl
IVF#1 10/11 Estrace,450 Follistim, 15 units low-dose HCG, DHEA - cancelled (only follie growing)
IVF#2 started stims 11/4/11 - same protocol, increase in concentration of HCG, added CoQ10, no response, cancelled on CD 12
12/2/11 began accupuncture; Break in Dec. Next cycle anticipated in Jan.
PAIF/SAIF Welcome

Re: Difficult day...nothing but news of pregancies and births :-(

  • I'm sorry that you're having to listen to all things pregancy and baby related.  It just sucks....and I wonder if when I stop going through IF treatments-will it get easier?  Hope that 2012 holds better things for you and thatone of those baby showers will be yours. 
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • I hear you...  I logged into FB yesterday and saw that yet another friend was KU'd.  It just seems so easy for so many... and then there is us, a group all to ourselves...  Hugs.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • I'm with you. My first niece was born yesterday. I've been shopping for her since she was conceived...lol. But after the initial happiness of hearing about her arrival, I was sad and shed some tears since we've been trying and nothing has happened yet (Had a BFN on 12/24). Plus my sister-in-law was only in labor for 2 1/2 hours, wow that was lucky! Hopefully 2012 will be a good year for all of us on this board!

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers image
  • I am so sorry.  We all of course are happy for those around us who are lucky enough to get pg but it also hurts a little (sometimes a lot).  Hugs to you and fingers crossed that all of will have something to celebrate in the new year.  :)
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
  • I am sorry that you are having a rough time of it. I am hoping 2012 brings many BFP and many healthy babies to us all on this board! Hang in there.
    TTC #1 since 2/10 Me 38 FSH 12.9 & AMH 0.16 DH 47, low sperm count due to meds. 07/11 We have sperm! 28 million, 70% motility, morphology 1% normal. 08/14/11 1st IUI unmedicated BFN. 09/11/11 2nd IUI w/ Femara + trigger BFN 10/14/11 trigger & Final IUI 10/16/11 BFN 10/21/11 Started acupuncture and loving it! 01/21 ET one embryo 6 cell grade C. Beta 02/02. BFN. Taking a much needed break. image
  • imageMrs.McIrish:
    I hear you...  I logged into FB yesterday and saw that yet another friend was KU'd.  It just seems so easy for so many... and then there is us, a group all to ourselves...  Hugs.

    Yeah - I am tired of being "special". Just once, I want to be normal, ordinary and boring. 

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
  • imageMelleTX:

    imageMrs.McIrish:
    I hear you...  I logged into FB yesterday and saw that yet another friend was KU'd.  It just seems so easy for so many... and then there is us, a group all to ourselves...  Hugs.

    Yeah - I am tired of being "special". Just once, I want to be normal, ordinary and boring. 

    YES!!! :-)

    As usual, thanks for all of the support ladies. 2012 is going to be the year for us all!

    M-43 DOR (FSH 20 AMH 0.16, AFC 4-6) Endo stage III DH-42 (low everything)
    TTC #1 unofficially since 6/09, officially since 10/10
    6/11 RE testing,rt tube blocked with hydro, 8/11 lap surgery rt tl
    IVF#1 10/11 Estrace,450 Follistim, 15 units low-dose HCG, DHEA - cancelled (only follie growing)
    IVF#2 started stims 11/4/11 - same protocol, increase in concentration of HCG, added CoQ10, no response, cancelled on CD 12
    12/2/11 began accupuncture; Break in Dec. Next cycle anticipated in Jan.
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • ((((hugs))))  And 2nd-ing what you said -- 2012 is going to be our year!!
  • I'm sorry you're having a rough time. And I totally hear you about the "what is meant to be will be" comment. That one just stinks.

    And everyone here understands the terrible, conflicted "happy for the pg lady/sad for myself" feeling. But sometimes I think we're the only ones who do. For me, I'm finding I feel ashamed of that jealous/sad feeling, and guilty that I feel it. Man, IF screws with you!

    Hope you're feeling better today. Big hug.

     

     

    Me = 38, Husband = 31. TTC since 1/10. M/C at 8 wks 5/10. Started trying again 9/10. All tests normal: AMH/MIS, FSH, HSG, SA. Estradoil high. 6/20/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#1=BFN. 7/17/11 - Clomid+IUI#2=BFN. 2 natural cycles = BFN. 10/6/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#3=BFN. 10/31/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#4 = BFN. 11/26/11 - Follistim+Ovidrel+IUI#5 = BFN. IVF#1 - Menopur+Follistim. 2 ET 5/11/12 = BFN.
  • imagearevere:

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time. And I totally hear you about the "what is meant to be will be" comment. That one just stinks.

    And everyone here understands the terrible, conflicted "happy for the pg lady/sad for myself" feeling. But sometimes I think we're the only ones who do. For me, I'm finding I feel ashamed of that jealous/sad feeling, and guilty that I feel it. Man, IF screws with you!

    Hope you're feeling better today. Big hug.

     


    You are not alone is this; I feel very ashamed that I am not bursting with excitment for my BF - I am determined to not miss out on this time with her but man, oh man, is this hard! It helps to know that I am not alone and crazy regarding the way I feel.

    M-43 DOR (FSH 20 AMH 0.16, AFC 4-6) Endo stage III DH-42 (low everything)
    TTC #1 unofficially since 6/09, officially since 10/10
    6/11 RE testing,rt tube blocked with hydro, 8/11 lap surgery rt tl
    IVF#1 10/11 Estrace,450 Follistim, 15 units low-dose HCG, DHEA - cancelled (only follie growing)
    IVF#2 started stims 11/4/11 - same protocol, increase in concentration of HCG, added CoQ10, no response, cancelled on CD 12
    12/2/11 began accupuncture; Break in Dec. Next cycle anticipated in Jan.
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • It seems to be the season. I woke up this morning to the third PG announcement on Facebook in two weeks...all from females I graduated high school with who are my age (37) or slightly older. My sister-in-law (who had a newborn last Christmas) also announced she is expecting again on Christmas Day. I'm happy for everyone...just wish it could finally be my turn too... 
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