Eep am I raising a picky eater?

Mrs.Handy · January 2012

So I've been meaning to post this for a few days. Mrs.PhilDunphy's post below scared me a little. I don't want to be that mom 5 years from now. Neither DH nor me are picky eaters so I would like DS to be open to yummy food.

Eating with DS has been a challenge. I kind of feel like we've gone backwards. I need some reassurance/advice. Here's what his meals are looking like

Breakfast - I have not been adventurous with this at all. He still loves his oatmeal with whole milk. He eats this most days although this weekend he did eat some waffles with syrup that we had for breakfast.

Lunch - We used to make all these pasta/casserole dishes for his lunches. But he wasn't eating them so we broke down and started buying the Sprout organic food pouches. I feel like this is a step backwards, but at least he is eating some veggies. We used to make all his food, but it was getting annoying making a delicious meal that he wouldn't touch. I'm interested in ideas for what we could do to give him a little more variety and texture in his food.

Dinner - Our ideal is that he eats a little what we eat. But most of the time he will take one look at the food we offer him, maybe take a bite and throw the rest on the floor. *sigh* Last night we had chickpea tacos with guacomole. He ate two bites of guacomole and wrap and then he was done with that. So we gave him some cheese and then pineapple for dessert.

The only foods he will eat with any consistency are fruit, yogurt, cheese and the little packages of Sprout food. Everything else is a crap shoot.

So how we do not raise a picky eater? Just keep offering different foods until he finally decides to eat them?

Thanks for reading. I guess this is mostly normal. But it's just hard not to get frustrated.

ETA: He is 17 months.

MrsPhilDunphy · January 2012

I am not a child behaviorist or registered dietician or anything else, I've just managed to raise a toddler that eats fairly well, so I can only give you my own humble opinion and what we've always done.

By and large, C eats what we eat. That's just the way it's been since he started turning his nose at purees at 9 mos. I cook one meal for dinner that includes something that I know for certain he will eat (I think this is key) and if he isn't interested in what else is there, then so be it. I'm not in to forcing my kid to eat anything, but I refuse to be a short order cook. We honestly don't make a big deal out of meals. His lunches are usually dinner leftovers, so the same applies.

For instance, last night we had meat loaf, mashed cauliflower, roasted beets with goat cheese and strawberries for dessert. I knew the vegetables would be iffy, but was certain he would devour the meatloaf and strawberries and that alone would be a decent meal. He "helped" me make the cauliflower, so he dug right in to that. Wasn't interested in the beets but did try them and that's all I really care about. For lunch today he had leftover meatloaf, mashed cauliflower and I threw some peas in.

I will say that around the 1 year mark, food definitely became a bit of a power struggle. But I'm glad we didn't make a big deal about it and kept the same route.

smacb · January 2012

I read somewhere that it's your job to provide your child with a variety of healthy foods. You can't force them to try them.

DS will eat most stuff. WE've had phases when he only wants to eat yogurt or peanut butter. We try to eat dinner as a family and I put whatever we're eating on his plate. He generally eats some of it. He has things he doesn't like (lima beans, tomatoes, pepperoni) but he tried all of those.

Just keep putting different foods out and try not to stress if they reject certain things. It balances out over time. I work hard at not fighting over meals. We also don't use food as a punishment or a reward.

BirdGirl01 · January 2012

I'd talk to his pediatrician at the next appt but based on friends with kids his age, it may just be a phase. We have friends with a little boy the same age who would eat EVERYTHING, and now will only eat the Sprout packages. At some point you have to give them something they will eat. I don't know what the answer is for making sure they come out of the phase, but it sounds like you were/are doing all the right things. Once he can reason/understand more, then I suspect you can move to talking with him about meals. But right now, I'm guessing he doesn't understand enough to talk about meals "rationally."

Jitterbug2668 · January 2012

I think our lil boys are about the same age. Major difference for us is that N is still on puree's. He still eats them like a champ so I'm not going to just pull them away knowing he's getting a ton of vitamins/minerals he needs. At every meal we do offer him what we are having.

Breakfast: during the week at daycare its hot cereal w/ milk and a fruit puree. Sometimes he'll have 1/2 of a yogurt. On the weekends, we usually make scrambled eggs and a meat and he generally devours that and maybe 1/2 piece of whole wheat toast.

Lunch: Either a #3 puree (such as beef & veggies) and a #2 veggie or a gerber graduate meal which has more texture and a #2 veggie. Then when he's done he'll eat puffs, cheese doodles or yogurt melts.

Dinner: same thing as lunch but obviously a different flavor. We generally have a meat, starch, and veggie for dinner. Last night we made orange chicken and he did munch on it, but it mainly went on the floor. He devours pasta and anything pasta related, loves soup (especially chicken and nocchi or french onion), and loves anything rice related. He's a real carb hog but loves his veggies. He will eat peas and corn without them being a puree and has munched on the soft parts of asparagus but just mushes carrots, squash, etc between his fingers for now. He's not too keen on meat yet. We've managed to get him to try salmon & flounder, eats maybe 4-5 little bites of steak and for some reason just isn't too interested in chicken at all. I'm having pork chops tonight so we'll see how that goes.

Much to my suprise he loves mexican food and will eat tortillas and taco meat like no one's business. Oh and he loves lamb - he's my husbands kid for sure!

I think the key is to try... try and try some more. Offering is the only thing we can really do. I do ham it up though and if there's something I want him to try and he's being picky about it, I'll make a big deal about it and on some occassions he'll give it a whirl but its only about 25% of the time.

septemberdreams · January 2012

Also keep re introducing the food. DS is a great eater and I think part of it is that he eats what we eat and we eat as a family so he sees us eating the same food. Also, for a new food, I'll give a small portion. I ask that he have 2-3 small bites. and then I consistently reintroduce it.

Artslvr · January 2012

Ditto keep giving him the foods that he has rejected... sometimes it takes many times to get them to finally "give in." We also have absolutely no problem with dipping stuff in ketchup or salsa if that's what it takes for our almost-3-year-old and our almost-5-year old to eat something different.

I consider the Zero to Three org a very good source, and they're the ones that say it can take 10-15 times of offering a food to a toddler before they'll take it: https://main.zerotothree.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ter_key_health_picky

QueSrah · January 2012

If you saw my response to MPD last night, I struggle with the same thing. In our case, it's only compounded by not being able to eat a single meal together most days to insitute the idea of one meal for everyone in the family. (Particularly when she won't eat meat or beans, or the carbs we happen to select for our own weekend lunches.) I have no idea how to encourage T to try new things. I feel like it's a success if I can at least get her to keep that one bite of new food on her plate (rather than pushed onto the table into my hand). She has given up some old favorites in the last few months, and lately she fusses that even things like pancakes or other foods she likes are "BU" (gross) if they have a speck that's darker than the rest. I don't think dipping sauces are going to work for this kid, if she's as anti-condiment as her father. I'm hoping this is a particularly finicky phase that will pass soon, because I don't like the options I can think of for enforcing family meals for weekend lunches and I don't really think two meals per week will make a big difference in her adventurousness.

Artslvr · January 2012

Thought of another thing, and maybe this is more for kids slightly older, but at my daughters' preschool they tell the kids that they must take a "thank you" bite of anything new. They explain that someone made the meal for them, and put a lot of love and effort into it, so it's only polite to take a thank you bite. When the girls screw up their face or say "ew" about food tried at home I correct them to say "I prefer not to eat that." Not that I expect a 17 month old to say that lol.

MrsPhilDunphy · January 2012

QueSrah - I really feel for you because I know that T's reflux issues put you in a hard spot. I honestly don't know what I would do in your circumstance. Does DCP still provide her meals?

WinesNotWhines · January 2012

OI've been struggling with the same thing. My only advice is to keep offering new foods, and he may surprise you. M is really into dipping right now, so ketchup and other condiments have been hits. He also likes spicy food, which was a nice surprise.

QueSrah · January 2012

MrsPhilDunphy:
QueSrah - I really feel for you because I know that T's reflux issues put you in a hard spot. I honestly don't know what I would do in your circumstance. Does DCP still provide her meals?

Yep - DCP makes her breakfast, lunch and dinner. I honestly have no idea what they eat most of the time, since we don't get a formal readout on her day, but it sounds like she's been getting pickier for our DCP too.

I really hope that as T needs less sleep she'll adjust to a later bedtime (and keep her nap) rather than her same early bedtime (with no nap) so we can attempt a rushed 6 pm dinner as a family. Then we can just join in everyone else's drama of how to get dinner on the table within 15 minutes of getting home. Having her eat dinner at 4:30/5 bites. Even my parents, who are nearing 70 and live in the midwest where everyone eats earlier, don't do that :P

tracy042206 · January 2012

Keep offering, but always have something on hand that you know he will like, he is still so young. We also say 'try it, you might like it' and I like the idea of a thank you bite which I think Maggie is old enough to understand. Both of my kids ate everything I made for them as infants - all homemade purees and veggie finger foods were great and THEN they started getting picky. However both had a texture aversion to meat, even in puree form it had to be heavily mixed with veg/fruit to be plalatable for them. For us it is getting the protein in them that it is difficult. I buy the higher protein pastas and we get more dairy on yogurt and cheese to help compensate and they will eat hot dogs so I buy the nitrate free ones.

Also both the girls are starting to come off the picky eating thing (although they are good with most kid friendly type foods like fruit, corn.peas/carrot/seet potatoes, most pasta, cheese, etc). Maggie enjoys trying new foods and is excited and happy that we are proud of her for it, but she often does not like them. She does now eat chicken nuggets (she disliked them until about 4yo) and that became a gateway for her trying real chicken and liking it in certain dishes. Molly will try just about anything as long as it comes from my plate - I gave her ham the other night on her plate and she wouldn;t eat it but she'll eat half of my serving off my plate. For us I think we are moving in the right direction since I don't want them to be 10 and eating such a small variety.

I think eating together as a family is important but we only manage to do that on weekends due to our schedules. When we move and aren;t spending 3hrs a day in our cars I think this will be more of a reality.

belizeitornot · January 2012

I'm glad you posted this. H used to be an amazing eater - the only thing she openly hated was broccoli. Pretty much right at the 1 yr mark (unfortunately also coinciding with her first cold) she turned into the worst eater. We survived a few days up at MILs with pouches, cheese, cheerios and berries.

Now that we're back home she has gotten a teeny bit better, but still more often than not refuses most forms of meat and vegetables (even things she previously loved and devoured).

Yesterday I managed to hide sauteed spinach behind bites of hot dog (!) after she turned up her nose at plain spinach after 4 bites. I'm so not ready for this to be a struggle for every meal, but I also don't want to give in and just give her what I know she'll eat so she isn't hungry - because I feel like that won't help the pickiness. Stick out tongue

bh2720 · January 2012

I haven't read the whole book yet (I mean, I've only had it for a year and a half, lol!) but the book "How to Get your Kids to Eat, but Not Too Much" has some good info.

One of these days I'll finish it and let you know how things turn out :-)

https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Your-Kid-Eat/dp/0915950839

The whole eating thing is so much harder than I ever would have thought. And Warner is a pretty good eater! But it's still hard. I think it's the first thing that they can really "control" and so it's much more than just whether or not they are hungry or like or dislike something.

Good luck!

Mrs.Handy · January 2012

Thanks for the input everyone! I may check out that book. I definitely don't want to be a short order cook. I long for the day when he can understand a little better about eating. We'll keep offering as much as possible and hopefully he'll come around eventually.

Kewliegirl · January 2012

Dear Handy,

One of my local friends has a great solution (I think). Her kids aren't allowed to say, "I don't like ..... " She makes them say, "I dont like ....[food].... yet." It reinforces that they have to continue trying the food. LOVE IT.

Artslvr, I think I need to PM you. I'll get to it eventually...

Rude food,

kewliegirl

Want a personalized experience?

Eep am I raising a picky eater?

Re: Eep am I raising a picky eater?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards