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Intro and question

GoldenPeachesGoldenPeaches
in Postpartum Depression

Hi ladies, I finally did it--I made the call to my primary care doctor to get a referral to get help. My appointment is tomorrow and I feel relieved.

I'm not really sure what "category" I fall under. I just don't feel ok. I had baby blues which spiraled into anger all the time, resentment, irritability, and poor treatment of DH. After I have an anger episode I feel so guilty afterwards and think that DH and DS don't deserve to be around somebody like me...and all of those thoughts cause me to spiral downward into a deeper depression. I'm also deathly afraid of something happening to LO. It goes beyond "new mom paranoia" normal IMO.

This board is one I never wanted to be on but always suspected I would be due to my history. I hope to find a provider who is pro-breastfeeding as I refuse to discontinue breastfeeding. I struggled so much in the beginning (this helped my issues along I am sure) and now I am really enjoying it. BFing is one of the only times I feel "normal" now. 

ETA: I think this goes along with my issues, but I am not sure. Does anybody miss being pregnant? I do--a lot. I get jealous and angry when I see pregnant women and I just miss it so much. I cry over this several times per week. 

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Re: Intro and question

  • EVA116EVA116 member

    Well I cannot relate on the wanting to be pregnant thing. I hated it. But I did love to breastfeed. It was the only time I felt good and safe and wouldn't cry. I had to stop because of the meds I needed to be on. That was so hard and I felt so guilty but she needed a happy and healthy mom. I just wasn't eating enough to give her what she needed in my breast milk. I would eat a carrot a day when my PPD was really bad.

    I am so glad you made an appointment. Isn't it just somewhat of a relief to have made the appointment. Now everyday you will start to feel better and better.

    My LO is ten months now and I still have the occasional bad day. I actually still worry a bit more that my friends do about things happening to my baby but I can live with that.

    I wish you luck and give you support.

    T&Ps Hugs!!!

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