Advice needed..
covertxxamour
member
Well, as you guys may (or may not know) from my first post.. my DD's father turned out to be a married man with 2 children. Well, he claimed that he wanted to be a part of my daughter's life.. even after he ran back to his wife. (I can't believe she took him back!) Anyway, his wife wanted to be involved as well. She wanted her children to know that they had a sister, etc. Well, she sent me a message on facebook telling me that she no longer wanted involved, and she wanted to shelter her children from all of this. That's fine.. that's her choice as a mother. She is doing what she thinks is best for her children. Only problem is.. it seems as though my DD's father has fallen off the face of the earth since I received this message. It seems to me that he has changed his mind about wanting to be involved.
I have a court date set up, but I'm really considering cancellling it. Most of the time, I truly believe that a child should have both parents. However, in this case, I'm really not thinking that it's best. He hasn't shown much interest in my daughter, and I am fine taking care of her on my own. I guess what I'm getting at is...
Should I cancel the court date? If he wishes to pursue anything, he can. But I honestly believe it's best for my daughter that he isn't involved right now. Thoughts/opinions? I don't care about child support.. so that's not a factor.
Re: Advice needed..
What is the court date for?
Also, go for child support. This is money for your child. If you can afford to raise her on just your salary, then put it in a savings account for her for college or something. He should not be allowed to just drop out if he pleases.
I agree with still going for CS.
Braces are expensive, proms are expensive, college is expensive, cars are expensive...
you don't know what financial struggles / surpluses you may have in the future and your child has a right to that money. (this coming from someone who gets no CS and works 2 jobs to survive....)
if you don't want her to be involved with him I don't blame you. It's easier on a child to have an absent parent rather than one that comes in and out of their life...
I say keep the court date. One, you are entitled to child support. Raising a baby is expensive. And, very rarely will the amount of CS you get cover HALF the costs of an infant.
Something very VERY important to consider, you do not ever want to be in the position of telling DD that you blocked her from seeing her father. You want to be able to make sure she knows you made EVERY effort to keep him in her life. This is so hard for us, because it really isn't fair that we do everything for them and it is very hard not to feel bitter or resent them. But, when my daughter asked me why her father didn't see her, it was a huge relief to be able to tell her that I would never stop him from seeing her. When he started coming around, and she asked him why he never tried to see her when she was younger, he had no choice but to tell her the truth. Even if he had lied, she knew otherwise. She knew me and knew that I made sure he had contact information, addresses, etc.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
This.
In some states (like CA), if their is no Custody in place, and he is listed on the birth certificate, your daughter is joint "property." You would have to take HIM to court to get her back. Seen it happen.
Go to court, get the support. Even if you don't need the money, put it in your LOs college fund.
Thank you all! I guess I do want him to pay child support, I just wish there was a way he didn't have to see her. I'm afraid his wife will really resent her, and so far, it seems as though he's doing the same. But he threatened me that if I'm asking for child support, that he will definitely have some sort of custody. If he actually wanted her, that would be different. But something is telling me he's only doing it out of spite.
Thank you all again.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools