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First time out today. Help?
My 19 mo old is kicking my azz. She's stubborn; she screams; she's a daredevil; she rarely sleeps through the night; she is pretty much the opposite of her older sister in every way, and I'm having trouble figuring out how to deal with her! My tried and true methods don't work on her.
Today she was shrieking at her big sister (an angry, mean kind of shriek just because her sister was standing next to her) and then at me, a terrible habit she's developing, so I decided to try a time out. I took her to a different room, told her she was in time out and why, and told her when she was quiet she could come back and join us. I remember this working with her sister, who has only ever needed a handful of timeouts in her life. Not with this one--she screamed and cried and got more upset. Eventually she calmed down and we went back to the room with everyone else. We had a repeat performance of the shrieking, time out, freak out, resolve at dinner.
Is this just how it is in the beginning of time outs when they learn what it is? Am I doing this wrong? Is she too young? Do you have any other advice for me??
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Re: First time out today. Help?
Did you give her a warning first? That's the only thing we do differently. Oh and we do the whole 1 minute/year thing. I think at your DD's age we only did 1 minute even though he was closer to 2.
I'm sorry...Luke is just now starting to throw similar temper tantrums and they are not fun. At all. My advice is to stick with it for awhile so she knows you mean business. If they still aren't working after awhile I'd try something new. (((hugs)))
Wow, it sounds like you really hit the jack pot with your first!
I don't think you did anything wrong and IMO she's definitely not too young. I think the key is to pick something and be consistent. Eventually she'll "get it." Hopefully...right? I'll be honest with you, me posting this is like the blind leading the blind, lol.
When she got so upset in time out, did you stay in the other room with her until she calmed down? I'd be wary that she would learn that throwing more of a fit meant that Mommy would stay with her. Otherwise, I think this is a learning curve about time-out and I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Time-out is not supposed to be fun (hence the fit), just a chance to cool down and change behavior.
We gave a warning and if the behavior continued, we scooped them up and put them in what we called time-out/the square (DH and I really called it baby jail). We took 4 pieces from the play yard thing, made it into a square and placed it in the front living room. They could still hear us and there were no doors between us, but they couldn't see us in the kitchen/family room. I was WAY against putting them in their cribs because I didn't want them to associate bad things with bed. We did the square because I DID want them to be safely contained and unable to escape. It's hard to know if they "get it" at two but I was hoping the cause and effect would eventually make sense. We also did the 1 minute/year of age thing, unless they calmed down before that. The main thing was to calm down before they were allowed out. Good luck!
Thanks ladies! I did give a warning the second time, but not the first since she had no idea what "time out" meant. I'll have to be more consistent with that. And maybe look into a way of containing her so I don't have to stand guard.
And yes, big sister was/is an easy kid in many ways. Which means she's saving it all up for adolescence for me, I'm sure. :-) And just so little sis gets her due, she's much more smiley and fun and goofy than her sister ever was. Big sis is the serious rule follower who likes to cuddle, and little sis is a silly troublemaker full of personality.
Thanks again for the advice and commiseration!