Clicky Poll: Spanking against the law?

SoxFan777 · December 2011

Hi,

The discipline post on here the other day got me to thinking... What do you all think of the Swedish prohibition on spanking your own kids (prohibiting any form of physical punishment, I believe)... I personally support it, but I'm also Swedish... I know some people are against the government "telling" us what to do, but a law like this DOES prevent the "gray area" where spanking becomes habitual and turns into abuse...

What do you think? Would you support a nationwide ban on physical punishment of kids?

[Poll]

SoxFan777 · December 2011

Oh, and here is an interesting although somewhat biased article that I found from Professor Google...

https://www.neverhitachild.org/haeuser.html

blush64 · December 2011

I do not agree with spanking or hitting a child. It removes their dignity and it's disrespectful to physically hit someone. (child or adult)

I understand my opinion isn't popular and there are probably many people out there who believe not spanking is wrong. I do believe the government should be able to ban spanking/hitting children. I would fully support spanking being against the law.

Purposly inflicting pain on a child as a means of teaching right from wrong just seems wrong to me. It's not one of those things where I could say it's wrong to hit or spank a child unless the parent things it's ok. I just think it's wrong.

Yes, I have kids. I also come from a very large family. For the most part people do not spank. (I have relatives that do as well but they are in the minority) MY oldest is about 16 and I was a single mother for most of his life. I have worked with children for years. (before my current job) I mention this so people know my beliefs are not because I haven't been around kids.

honkytonk_kid · December 2011

I'm torn on this one. We will not spank- I hate everything about the idea. But I also get nervous with the idea of legislating how parents can parent their children.

If I'm not mistaken, I read somewhere that in Sweden, even though spanking is illegal, there is no punitive action taken for parents who spank. Parents who spank are visited by social services, offered support, etc. I think I could get behind that. But I don't think it will happen in the US any time soon.

I hope eventually spanking will become unacceptable to society without legislation.

Ilumine · December 2011

I was always vehemently against spanking...until I bore a runner.

The minute my daughter has a break, she goes; as far and as fast as she can go. And running into buy streets is NOT the worse part, she never watched where she was going. I am not exaggerating when I sy she took down a lilltle old Oma with a cane...and has broke more items that can be remembered.

We tried every single AP form of behavioral modification out there. 123 Magic (what we use for all other behavioral issues), Dr Sears, the baby harnesses/leash, keeping her in the stroller (but in Europe that means we would not be able to go/see 50% of the sights), immediately leaving the location, and finally just not going places (again, how much fun is that in Europe).

Finally, after the knocking the Oma down, DH had enough and told her as we got out of he car, that if she ran she would be spanked. And she did...and he did. One swat on her butt, over a diaper. It took 2 other incidents, the last post PT for it o sink in.

Am I happy that we had to spank? No. But I am also happy to know that my DD will be able to experience some of he most amazing places in the world.

Kristine Schilling · December 2011

I dont think spanking is an effective form of punishment however, I still voted no. And here is why.

Like many laws, it will be almost impossible to enforce. A law that cannot be enforced dilutes the other laws. Unless we put cameras in every household, how are we to enforce this law? People, regardless of a law, are going to occationally "swat" or spank a severly misbehaving child in the home.

Yes, it will give us one more way to pull a child from an abusive home. But we already have laws to that effect.

TiffanyBerry · December 2011

Ilumine:
I was always vehemently against spanking...until I bore a runner.
The minute my daughter has a break, she goes; as far and as fast as she can go. And running into buy streets is NOT the worse part, she never watched where she was going. I am not exaggerating when I sy she took down a lilltle old Oma with a cane...and has broke more items that can be remembered.
We tried every single AP form of behavioral modification out there. 123 Magic (what we use for all other behavioral issues), Dr Sears, the baby harnesses/leash, keeping her in the stroller (but in Europe that means we would not be able to go/see 50% of the sights), immediately leaving the location, and finally just not going places (again, how much fun is that in Europe).
Finally, after the knocking the Oma down, DH had enough and told her as we got out of he car, that if she ran she would be spanked. And she did...and he did. One swat on her butt, over a diaper. It took 2 other incidents, the last post PT for it o sink in.
Am I happy that we had to spank? No. But I am also happy to know that my DD will be able to experience some of he most amazing places in the world.

Your story is *exactly* why I don't think there should be a law against it. I also don't "believe" in spanking, but eliminating a tool from the tool box that may be a last resort is ridiculous.

elektra1835 · December 2011

Lurker here. I realize that I'm in the minority, but I believe that a parent should be able to spank their child if they deem it necessary. I would not make it habitual and will most likely only do it as a last resort, but sometimes it just needs to be done. I was not spanked often as a child, but when I was, it def got the message home that what I did was not acceptable. The two times I actually remember getting spanked, I did deserve it and I would not hesitate to spank my child if he acted in the same manor. Now, while I realize that everyone's trying to do what they can to keep kids safe, a law that prohibits spanking is not going to prevent a child abuser from abusing a child. And as far as the gov is concerned, I have a huge issue w/ them trying to dictate how individuals parent their children. Next thing you know, the gov will try and pass laws that say it's illegal to put your kid in time-out b/c some study indicates that it's a form of neglect...

+diana82+ · December 2011

fredalina:
I can think of at least 3 things off the top of my head worse than spanking a child that are all technically legal or at the very least unenforceable. I don't spank or "believe in" spanking, but I think a quick open-handed swat on a tushie or a slap on the hand of a toddler is about 4000 times less damaging than demeaning a child, prolonged ignoring, or even overindulging a child.

We have laws to prevent abuse which include any physical punishment that causes injury or leaves a mark. And, frankly, they don't work. People don't *not* abuse their kids because there's a law telling them they shouldn't. People don't feed their kids because the law says starving them is wrong. Aside from the fact that I'm a strong Libertarian and it's not the government's place to tell us how to discipline our kids, I think that it would either be entirely ignored (and unenforced; there aren't enough foster homes as it is and courts are very busy with such cases now) or at worst might actually cause tension to build up in some parents until they really do abuse their kids.

The culture is changing slowly where spanking is less acceptable, or at least seen as a last resort, and I think this is a good thing. It will continue to do so. If you want to stop spanking as a form of discipline, the best thing you can do is to not spank your own kid and let others see your discipline working, including your kids so they don't spank their own.

Every last word of this. Yes

Still free to be me · January 2012

Last time I checked, it was illegal to hit another adult. Why should a child be different?

wheelsonthebus · January 2012

TiffanyBerry:
Ilumine:

I was always vehemently against spanking...until I bore a runner.

The minute my daughter has a break, she goes; as far and as fast as she can go. And running into buy streets is NOT the worse part, she never watched where she was going. I am not exaggerating when I sy she took down a lilltle old Oma with a cane...and has broke more items that can be remembered.

We tried every single AP form of behavioral modification out there. 123 Magic (what we use for all other behavioral issues), Dr Sears, the baby harnesses/leash, keeping her in the stroller (but in Europe that means we would not be able to go/see 50% of the sights), immediately leaving the location, and finally just not going places (again, how much fun is that in Europe).

Finally, after the knocking the Oma down, DH had enough and told her as we got out of he car, that if she ran she would be spanked. And she did...and he did. One swat on her butt, over a diaper. It took 2 other incidents, the last post PT for it o sink in.

Am I happy that we had to spank? No. But I am also happy to know that my DD will be able to experience some of he most amazing places in the world.

Your story is *exactly* why I don't think there should be a law against it. I also don't "believe" in spanking, but eliminating a tool from the tool box that may be a last resort is ridiculous.

I agree. My parents had to use a similar tactic on me as a child. It's honestly what worked. I think in some cases spanking does have a place. Do I think methodical beating of your child for everything is right? No. However, I think heat of the moment, safety spanking can be an essential tool for some families.

GHBEA · January 2012

Still free to be me:
Last time I checked, it was illegal to hit another adult. Why should a child be different?

Exactly what I was going to say.

It amazes me that when a child hits another child its being a bully, when an adult hits another adult its abuse, but when an adult hits a child its considered by some a part of growing up?

I have been a mom for over 20 years, I never spanked any of my 3 daughters. Its about positive discipline, being consistent, and not losing control.

raspberrytea15 · January 2012

I am against spanking but a law would be difficult to enforce and could get pretty tricky. I mean there are some things that parents do that don't hurt, like swatting bums to get their attention. Should they get prosecuted for that?

Still free to be me · January 2012

A lot of other laws are hard to enforce, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be laws. Rape is incredibly hard to prosecute...does that mean we should just say it isn't worth having a law against it?

Mata Hari · January 2012

Still free to be me:
Last time I checked, it was illegal to hit another adult. Why should a child be different?

I think the idea is that if you're hitting an adult, you're doing so out of anger and with intent to inflict injury. Spanking a child should be emotionless, consistent, predictable and goal-oriented (to end a certain behavior immediately). That said, people do get out of hand with spanking and they make it emotional - a release of their own anger/frustration, random and unpredictable often with no follow-up conversation with the child. I was spanked "correctly" and I'm fine. I didn't learn to be sneaky, grow to hate myself or my parents or seek out abusive relationships. Will I spank my son? I hope not. I can't foresee doing it but neither could Ilumine. Her story is what keeps me from being a guns-blazing anti-spanker. I'm sure her DH didn't harm DD. He was showing her a consistent and distasteful consequence. It worked. And it sounds like they haven't spanked since. I couldn't outlaw that.

GHBEA · January 2012

fredalina:
It's not illegal to "hit" an adult. It's illegal to assault an adult (or child). But the football player who swats his teammate's tush on national Tv isn't arrested immediately after, nor is the wife who disapproves of her husband's joke and lightly punches his arm while saying, "Oh, Steve, you're so bad!"

The parent who swats their child's tush isn't abusing him or her any more than the wife beats her husband (not saying I condone either). Of course if either accelerates and hits hard in anger, that's abuse. Can you people really not tell the difference?

I see your point about the wife and the DH "oh Steve your so bad" and the tush hit at a football game yes they are very different then a full out hard hit that inflicts pain.

The definition of a hitting is to give force, the definition of a spank is to strike. What it boils down to if you are leaving marks after doing either you have gone too far and abused the adult or child.

This is one of those never ending debates.

LouiseB2001 · January 2012

Just to chime in because I actually now live in Sweden: True, it is illegal here and has actually been for many years (20 or so I think). Note that it is also illegal in other Nordic countries such as Norway and Denmark (possibly also Finland and Iceland) so it is not unique to Sweden. It is a law that, in my view, has come out of practice and general moral. Talk to any Swede and you will get an answer that hitting a child is always wrong. There is actually no word in Swedish for spanking, only hitting or slapping, which goes to show that there is no word reserved for the punishment of children by violence. The law is merely an indication of normal practice and as has been pointed out by PP few, if any have been traditionally punished for spanking their children (e.g. arrested, prosecuted etc). So although I theoretically think there should be such law in the US against spanking, it makes little sense before the general practices of not doing so are in place, alongside good social services who can look out for abuse. And I agree with Fredalina that there are many things that are much worse than hitting a child on a few occasions.

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