Need to Vent....LONG — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Need to Vent....LONG

I haven't been on much lately, but I need to vent. I am so frustrated.

AF just showed up, so I am on to cycle 9, but month 12, as we started TTC last February.  I understand that it is completely normal for TTC to take awhile, and I am not concerned that there is something wrong, but I am frustrated because my DH travels constantly for his job, and as a result, the odds of having perfect timing during any given cycle is slim.  We can usually hit 1 or 2 days during the FW, but it is impossible to time things any better than that.

I just found out that DH will not be working OOT at all this month during my expected FW, which would be AWESOME except he decided he wants to take that opporunity to fly back to our hometown. I told him that week was pretty much our only shot of getting KU this month, and he told me that we should be "having fun" and not being so scheduled.  FWIW, I NEVER tell DH when I am in my FW, so things have never felt scheduled.....until this month apparently. Meanwhile, he asks me all the time when I am testing, talks constantly about being a dad, etc. How the hell does he think it works???  I am getting so frustrated watching the months tick by, having so little control over timing, and then we have an opportunity to time things perfectly and DH wants to leave.

FWIW, traveling is a part of the job....it won't change. So that isn't an option.  I knew that this might make things more challenging, but I am getting burnt out and depressed. How do you all find a silver lining?  How do you stay positive? What hobbies keep you occupied? For some reason this cycle is hitting me harder than others have and I just need a pep talk or something.

Sorry for the long vent.....just needed to get it off my chest.


** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

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Re: Need to Vent....LONG

  • GG I am so sorry. I hate this situation for you. I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel at this point.

    Just a thought...is there any way that you could indeed go back to your home town but maybe get a hotel room or something so that you could still take advantage of your FW?

    Again, I am sure you are surely frustrated as anybody would understandably be in your situation.

    ((HUGS)) 

  • Awww honey...I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  I know it's not easy, and I wish I could say it gets easier...but, you know... :(

    I've had my fair share of hit and misses with DH when it comes to timing... It's beyond frustrating.  All you can do is take it one day at a time.  When those really hard moments start creeping up, remind yourself you're in it for the long haul... there will be good and there will be bad, but at the end of that proverbial tunnel, there will be light so make those moments that you do have count twice as much.

    Aside from that?  I try to keep busy with work, yoga, writing and spending quality time with friends and family... Finding new hobbies isn't really my forte, so I stick to what I know.. but you have to do/try whatever works for you, at the time that you need it most.  ((big squishy hugs))  Keep your chin up lady Wink

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  • image sydsmom04:

    GG I am so sorry. I hate this situation for you. I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel at this point.

    Just a thought...is there any way that you could indeed go back to your home town but maybe get a hotel room or something so that you could still take advantage of your FW?

    Again, I am sure you are surely frustrated as anybody would understandably be in your situation.

    ((HUGS)) 

    All of this and I am so sorry you are going through this craziness, you know I know how you feel

     

    PS Did you get my email?

  • I'm sorry you are feeling down tonight. Can you go with DH to your hometown or is he going alone? Maybe you could have a little get away?

    The silver lining is hard to find sometimes... Every cycle I tell myself that my odds have got to be getting better with each month that passes.  Sometimes that helps.  To keep busy I crochet cute hats and booties for my friends' kids.  I'll be an expert by the time I get to make some to keep!

    I hope you can find your silver lining and start to feel better soon! 

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  • I am so sorry GG, I totally understand how it feels to have DH's job get in the way of ttc and it can get so very frustrating. We went through a few months where, during my fertile window, DH was on some stupid training mission for the whole week, or two depending on the month. It makes you want to scream sometimes b/c its completely out of your hands.

    Silver linings are difficult to see at times, especially when you are frustrated. I think of it the same way Katie does in that each month should increase your chances. If that doesn't work I stop going on the ttc forums and just focus on other things in my life. Sometimes it can all get so overwhelming and you just need some time away from it all.

    I also agree with the others, can you go with YH? If you can go with him that would solve that problem (I was never afraid of ttc while visiting so long as we had a room (with a door) and it wouldn't be noticed by anyone else. If not there is always the hotel idea.

    (((HUGS))) it can be so frustrating but know this will pass. Take care girl! Its 2012, hopefully the new year will bring better luck!
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  • I swear I thought I was the only only TTC with a traveling husband. I am on cycle 9 myself and I too am frustrated beyond word. (sure this glass of moscato in hand isn't helping). But I was laid off so my hubby has to work. I try to focus on the fact that he (finally isready to conceive. Regardless of perfect timing or not I remind him of the days he need to be home and get it in as much as possible before he leaves and pray that his swimmers are there for the long haul. But I try to remind him of the days I need him home in case he can change his schedule.

    Right now m not feeling the positives with my BFF baby shower next week and I'm still waiting for my sticky baby but Im trying to hold on to patience and hope that come March I will have my BFP. And my new favorite hobby is Pinterest and the foodies or DIY page. Being unemployed and home alone gives me lots of free time.

    P.s. please forgive any errors I truly have a drink in hand 

     

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  • Thanks so much for the encouragement ladies.  I love you guys!  I really needed it tonight. I hate that I let it get to me so bad at times. Sad Angel, your situation puts things in perspective too....I am sorry that you understand all too well how much your DH's job can get in the way. And mrsjollybrown, that was me up until a few months ago....laid off, while DH was working and traveling all over.  And the moscato part too.... Wink

    I seriously think I need to take up yoga, or take a community ed class or something to help me meet people and keep me occupied.....and to help relieve some stress too!

    In terms of the trip home, I wish that I could go with DH, but I can't get the time off of work.  He is going since he wasn't able to come home with me for Christmas, so I totally understand, and know that he needs to see his family too, but I would be lying if I said that the timing couldn't be worse.

    In any case, thank you all.  You seriously all know just what to say to make me feel better. Forget the haters that like to say this board is full of meanies, you guys really are supportive, and I really appreciate it. Angel


    ** After  2 1/2 years of Unexplained IF, 2 failed medicated cycles, and 4 failed IUI's - our baby girl came to us through the miracle of Mini IVF! **

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  • image on_a_whim:

    Awww honey...I'm sorry you're having a rough time.  I know it's not easy, and I wish I could say it gets easier...but, you know... :(

    I've had my fair share of hit and misses with DH when it comes to timing... It's beyond frustrating.  All you can do is take it one day at a time.  When those really hard moments start creeping up, remind yourself you're in it for the long haul... there will be good and there will be bad, but at the end of that proverbial tunnel, there will be light so make those moments that you do have count twice as much.

    Aside from that?  I try to keep busy with work, yoga, writing and spending quality time with friends and family... Finding new hobbies isn't really my forte, so I stick to what I know.. but you have to do/try whatever works for you, at the time that you need it most.  ((big squishy hugs))  Keep your chin up lady Wink

    Whim is much more eloquent than I am, so I Yes this! I just wanted to add that we are here for you whenever you need us GG...to vent or for ((BIG SQUISHY HUGS)) which I am sending your way.

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  • Hey GG.  Sorry to hear you're feeling down.  Maybe you'll O later or earlier this cycle?  Sending you hugs.  
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    BFP: 2/29/12 EDD: 11/9/12


    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ansi29] BFP Chart[/url]


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  • Big hugs, love!
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