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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
hopeful34
member
my daycare is firing us...
hopeful34
member
I got a call this morn and she said she doesn't think her daycare is the right place for DS (so neither twin). They have been going there since May. We've had issues with her about them not napping at her specified times, DS throwing stuff, DS hitting kids with heavy toys but not in anger or anything..just that he doesn't know any better. I have never heard that he wasn't happy there. That is what she told me today. He just doesn't seem happy to be there. He is only happy 1-2 hrs a day. This has been going on since thanksgiving. I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said she should have. I mean he is only 15 mos old!!!! Don't most kids do this kind of stuff? I asked her to elaborate on the unhappy and she said he yells in anger and cries real tears. She is very strict so the only thing i can think of is that she is restricting him to one area and at his age i don't think that's fair. But i can understand her wanting to keep the other kids safe from flying objects.
They only go 2 days a week & will (would) be going 4 days starting next week. She doesn't even want to see if it'll make it better. It just doesn't add up. I have a feeling she has other plans with another family that will maybe pay her more. She will let them come until i find other arrangements. She is the type of person that would tell me right out if i was doing something wrong so i feel like she isn't telling me the whole truth.
Does this sound odd to you ladies?? I might be leaving some things out because i'm a mess right now so ask questions if you need to.
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: my daycare is firing us...
It's kind of odd that it's all of a sudden. I would think that they would try to work with you first. I know Lo has a tendency to throw things at home, but they say she doesn't at DC.
I would say that if she's eager to get rid of you, you can probably do better any how.
I think it is odd that she never notified you of the behavior, never conferenced with you to set up a behavior plan and never gave you a warning that this might happen.
Personally, this women doesn't sound like that great of a daycare provider, I know it is hard to see it at the moment, but you can probably find better care out there.
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If she doesn't want your kids there never mind why, they're better off somewhere else.
Some amount of aggression can be normal at that age as kids experiment with hitting, biting, and throwing, but it should just be a passing phase. Most professional DCPs would know how to deal with it, and of course you need to make sure you're dealing with it at home as well.
Obviously if the care situation itself is exacerbating your DS's frustration, then again, they're better off somewhere else with someone who's more attuned to your kids' individual needs. 15 months is still too young to expect kids to adhere to anyone else's schedule but their own, IMO.
Hmm, I think it does sound like y'all aren't a good fit together but that may just be the excuse she's using.
I could see her deciding your son is more difficult then she wants to deal with, in terms of hitting, etc. especially if they will be going 4 days a week.
I hope you find a new DCP quickly.
From another DCP's point of view, I also think it's odd and it definitely makes me raise an eyebrow. It's not fair that you are being 'released' from her daycare on such short notice, but at least she's letting the kids stay with her until you find another DCP.
Children act out but there is always a reason. Is there a new child that has recently started at the daycare? Perhaps your LO doesn't get along well with that child or another child at the daycare? 15 Months old is still quite young and they understand a lot but they don't know everything. They have to be taught over and over that you don't throw, hit, bite, etc. It's possible that she could be a little too strict and it's not the type of DCP that your LO would benefit from (therefore he will be unhappy and so will the DCP) I have learned from having my own kids that it's very beneficial to try to maintain the same schedule as the DCP when the kids are not there. You know when they are going to eat/sleep so it could prevent 'acting out' due to fatigue or hunger, or at least provide an answer for the behaviour.
Something is up with her for sure. Perhaps you can set up a meeting with her when she's not caring for kids. I would want to know exactly what's been going and how long your LO has been 'acting' like that, and how she deals with it when your child 'acts out'. If it's an issue with your child, at least you know so you can come up with a way to handle it if it comes up at the new DCP. It's quite possible that your child is just not happy there, or it could be something else on the part of the DCP like for example, the DCP getting another child who be there full time for more pay.
Either way, it's probably best that you do get another DCP. You want your child happy at daycare and you don't want a dishonest DCP.
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this! If she hasn't brought up he was unhappy until she decided to "kick you out" then I would think she is not doing her job & I would be upset that she wasn't keeping you up to date on his well being. And her inability to deal with it also implicates her as not being so hot at her job. Maybe she should let all parents before agreeing to watch them that she can't handle any kids that aren't 100% perfect 100% of the time, which ain't gonna happen! Knowing my son I can imagine he would occasionally do the things that she listed for you. And I find him fairly easy to deal with. But he doesn't' always nap when I want him to. He throws things, etc.
And I think she got a call today confirming a new family & that is why she is calling out on a holiday weekend. I'm sorry and good luck finding a much better replacement.
I think it sounds very odd. I removed my son from an inhome daycare a couple of months ago. I arrived early and did not like what I found. Nap times were always a big issue there, my son hated going there even a month into care he freaked out on pick up and drop off and was still crying while he was there on a regular basis. We had no DCP for 3 weeks (it was really hard) before we got him into a new center. He has napped there since day 2, and stopped crying on drop off and pick up on week 2. He actually smiles and waves through the window at the DCP's when we arrive.
My point is that I'd look at it as a blessing that she is finally owning up to what is going on there. Now that my son is in a good place, I can't believe the difference, the people their appreciate him with all his good points and bad points and he is thriving. You are doing nothing wrong, your son is not exhibiting this behaviour at home, because he is receiving good developmentally appropriate care in your home, if after a reasonable adjustment period he is still struggling at daycare I'd question her skill set as a DCP. Our old DCP would also try to lay the blame on DS's difficulty adjusting on us, our new center very much believes we know what is best for our son, and it is there job to work with our parenting philosophy to provide the best care for C. When you look for a new care situation one of the biggest things I've learned is to look for ECE's who have a bit more education on what is developmentally appropriate care and on different strategies to help LO's who are having difficulty adjusting. I hope that this bad experience helps you to find a place that lets your son thrive.