I feel like I'm in bride wars... (updated)
eav2c
member
but not quite =P
I posted a week-ish ago about my BFF and her insulting comments about how "boys suck" (knowing that I'm having a boy, too!) and comparing my husband's not so sweet reaction to my pregnancy to her husbands reaction--among other numerous things throughout the course of a year or so. Nevertheless, after some insightful comments on here, I basically put her on ignore while I sorted out my feelings. She's one of those I'll-say-anything ladies and I was being a child and was too scared to 'rock the boat' by saying "woah nelly STFU that's mean!" So, needless to say, she finally texts me and I email her kind of letting it all out (bad idea, maybe?). DH says I was too nice though but he realllllly hates this woman after she bashed his mom to my entire family on my wedding day (yeah, really). So, she ran around to her other BFF (who she had just complained about less than two weeks ago) and told her how I was a bad friend and they came to conclusion about how TERRIBLE I am.
Long story short... she brought up her wedding and how I wasn't there for her during it. I sent her a message back and said... "Oh yeah, I had just found out I was pregnant and dealing with a confused husband and the entire night before your wedding was talking your drug-addict sister to coming back to the hotel and be in your wedding still. I'm sorry that by the time your reception rolled around that I was barely seeing straight because of no-sleep and no food."
Anyways... moral of the story. A long friendship ended. I sat and thought about why it ended and realized we were going through 'big life changes' (marriages/pregnancies) at the same time and somehow allowed that to engulf our friendship where it basically became a competition of sorts? I can't figure out any other 'conclusion' than that.
Well, now time to go indulge in some TV count downing to the New Year! May everyone enjoy this New Year where our sweet LO's will be gracing us with lots of joy, dirty diapers, and more love than we can imagine!
Re: I feel like I'm in bride wars... (updated)
So... ex-BFF just messaged me and told me I'm a "crazy pregnant person" (lol?) and that her hormones are WORSE than mine because she's in the beginning and I'm in the middle? Um, okay. She's 5 weeks pregnant. Not sure if that's true that hers are worse but I admit my hormones are just getting insane now and weren't bothering me at all in the beginning. I've read hormones peak in the first trimester but doesn't mean I can't realize she's a bish and let her know about it
I lost a bff through the wedding process as well, and from what I understand it's pretty normal. Weddings bring out the best and worst in everyone. (My situation was different in that my bff was divorcing her husband who happens to be my husband's bff, so she chose not to come to the wedding or be involved at all.)
There comes a time in our lives when we grow up and realize that some of our "friends" are actually not going to be our friends for life. And that is okay. Our lives take us in different directions and as a married (and pregnant) adult it is fine to make the choice to move away from a friendship that doesn't make you feel good anymore.
You may need to take the route (which I had to do with my friend) of writing her a very kind but firm email stating that your lives are going in two different directions and your friendship has changed. And that is okay. And then if she keeps harrassing you through text, just ignore her.
One thing I kinda love about being an adult is being able to make decisions like these and stick to them. No need to make yourself get crazy over it. Your priorities now are your hubs and your baby. And if you and your friend are "meant to be" you'll reconnect down the road.
Good luck. I know dealing with friend drama is a pain in the butt.