Tips from moms of 2
Ladies, I need your help with the logistical part of caring for a toddler and a two month old. What practical tips do you have for things like: 1) occupying the toddler when the baby's reflux is bothering him and won't stop crying, 2) the toddler needs a time out but you can't put the baby down (see reflux in #1), 3) putting the baby down for a nap while the toddler is up and playing, 4) putting the toddler down for a nap when the baby is fussy.
I have already decided that in this period of transition and newborn fussiness I am not going to give myself a hard time if Toddler C watches more TV than I feel comfortable with. (He usually only gets to watch one show every other day or so) I also have a Moby and an Ergo (with infant insert) that I have been using. The only thing is that Baby C2 doesn't last super long in either. But, I know that's a good tool for when I need to deal with the toddler.
Any other thoughts or tips? I am very open!
Re: Tips from moms of 2
i had fussy babies....honestly, I had to live on an exercise ball during the fussy months for baby #2 and #3. I would wear and bounce baby while doing whatever with the toddler(s). it was exhausting, but the only way we could survive. both babies wouldn't last long in the moby or ergo in the house either unless i was bouncing. sounds crazy, i know.
yes, they watched a ton more TV than I would have liked.
my #1 gave up naps very early for his age, he had a very hard time napping with the baby around (they are 22 mos apart). and getting the baby to nap was extremely difficult with toddler around, I would try to set him up in front of a show, but inevitably he would come in and distract. it was a very hard time and my memory is blurry on much of it, thank goodness!!
hang in there! i think those times were our hardest for sure. the crying compounds everything and really frazzles your nerves. be easy on yourself! do whatever works to get you through!
The arrival of DS marked the end of my strictness about TV. She watches a LOT of TV now. That's the only way to keep her quiet and occupied while I'm either a) nursing, or b) putting DS down for a nap. It sucks and I don't like it, but nothing else we tried worked. I thank my stars that at LEAST she likes TV and will sit quietly and watch it.
We'd go for a lot of walks, because being outside seemed to calm the baby and kept DD happy.
For discipline, we would just either wear the baby and go do time out (we stay with DD when she's in time out), or just laid him on the ground and went to handle it. Sometimes, he had to just cry through whatever we were doing with DD. C'est la vie.
What really seemed to help was the pointedly tell the baby a few times a day, "I'm sorry, DS, I'm helping DD do something right now. You'll have to wait." It helped DD to hear us say that to the baby because then she was more accepting of hearing it the other way, when we were telling her that she had to wait.
It's really hard in the beginning, but it really, really does get easier. Hang in there.
This is a great idea! Baby C2 likes being bounced in the carrier. And, I will try to be easy on myself.
Thank you!
I hadn't thought about that--great idea. Thanks for the encouragement. It's good to hear that it will get easier.
My girls are almost the exact same age apart and what I can tell you is that it must not have been that bad because the mommy amnesia already has me stumped! I too had to give up a lot of the "schedule" control and TV watching (which I regret but whatever). But I had already done some of that with how sick I was when I was PG.
Toddlers are very entertained by new things. So what helped a lot for us was to only have out 1/2 of Abby's toys at anyone time. We cycled them out often and kept them nearby. If things were really hectic, I'd bust out a "new" toy for Abby to play with. Lots of things with lights and buzzing and buttons.
Toddler discipline is sometimes simplified with choices. "Abby, you can go sit in time out OR you can help put these toys in this basket". Or more simply at that time probably sounded more like "Toys in Basket or Time out?"
As for naptimes, I was lucky to get both girls on the same nap schedule pretty quickly. Obviously Emily got an extra couple of naps in the beginning but I had it to where when Abby was napping, so was Emily. And mommy too! As a night shift worker, the daily nap is a matter of survival. We had already developed a pretty hands off approach to getting Abby to bed. Book, I love you, into the crib you go. Go to sleep! Emily was still a rock and nurse etc until 8-12 weeks like most newborns. I didn't mind and she transitioned easily out of it when we needed her to.
Above all, we re-childproofed the entire downstairs which included removing some furniture and eventually even our coffee table. It made things safer overall for a curious Abby when we were distracted by newborn things like diaper blowouts in the swing etc. Don't get me wrong. We still had our fair share of Sharpie on the kitchen floor incidents!! But I felt confident that if I left Abby on the couch watching a show while I went upstairs to put Emily down, that she could't get hurt.
Just keep telling yourself "This too shall pass!"
i can't help much with the reflux stuff, but here are a few things that have worked for me...
i shift lunchtime according to the baby. so it fluctuates by 30-45minutes. so when the baby is doing ok, i serve lunch,then i know i will be able to put dd1 down for a nap and have a few minutes with her. she is in a big bed. i think your son is still in a crib? it was easier then! i would just give her milk in her bed (gasp!! i never thought i would have done that before the 2nd baby....)
time outs/discipline. taytee had good suggestions. also, sometimes you just don't get to use it. don't slide all the time, but sometimes, you just can't. recognize that that does happen and it's not the end of the world. it will get easier= more time to discipline in a few weeks/months.
i'm sure you know this already, but get your son to help with anything he can/wants to. T gets a diaper and wipe for me. this goes in waves. right now, she does it every chance, but she will lose intereste for a few days. i just go with the flow on that. so it keeps her busy when i'm changing diapers. also, let him look at the poop. gross, i know, but they are fascinated with poop and pee right now. so again, it keeps them busy/interested.
gotta go...2 awake right now