Let's make this official...(warning, I ramble)

ashleymarie512 · December 2011

Hello everyone! I've been lurking for awhile and last night started replying some posts, but thought I'd make it official tonight. Sorry in advance--this is long!

My name is Ashley (27) and husband (31) and I have been not trying/not preventing for about six-seven months now. We got married last April and I went off the pill in June. I was on it for about 9 years and even before going on it, I never really got a period. I'd get MAYBE one period per year, but what teenager doesn't love the convenience of that?! Anyway, when I went on the pill the doctor said I "most likely had PCOS and that I "might have trouble conceiving", but again, at 18yrs old it didn't really matter much. Fast forward. Once we started talking about having a family I started thinking about how I might have trouble and began to worry. I went off the pill in June even though we knew we didn't really want to get pregnant until the end of the year (right about now). Husband is finishing his master's in biochemistry and if we got pregnant at the beginning of the year, by the time we had the baby he'd be done. Well, I got a period in July b/c of the pill pack, but otherwise I didn't get anything else. I had my annual in September, where she confirmed the PCOS diagnosis. She gave me Provera and then checked for ovulation later in the month with a BFN. She said that when we're ready we'll go right to Clomid. Husband had a SA and count/motility were good, but morph was slightly low. He's been on vitamins and we'll retest later. Because of all this I had to change insurances to something that would cover IF and that doesn't kick in until Jan 1 (wow, tomorrow!).

Well, the other caveat that has been thrown in is that I may be laid off from April-July. I work as a counselor at the women's prison and currently work on a grant. It wasn't renewed like we thought so unless the state can pick up our salaries for April, May, and June, we'll be laid off as of March 31, but supposedly can be hired back on as of July 1. We agreed that it would be dumb to get pregnant and not have insurance OR an income for three months so now we're waiting to find out whether or not I'm going to be laid off. I should know more towards the end of Jan. If not, we'll move forward. If so, we'll have to wait until I get hired back on in July. Sooo frustrating---I hate that when we finally have a plan, things get all out of whack.

The last part of what I want to get out, which is going to sound very selfish, is that I fear my sister will get pregnant before me. She's three years younger than me and got married six months before we did. It was sort of a "race to the altar" and they got engaged three months before we did. I felt as if my whole planning process was overshadowed by hers. She got to do everything first so when it was my turn it wasn't even a big deal. Now I'm scared that she'll get pregnant before me and it'll be the same thing over again. I'm the oldest and I want to give my mom the first grandchild (we're a blended family so there are already "step grandchildren" but I want to give her the first bio). Please don't judge me, I feel very selfish saying that and I have to admit that I haven't even really admitted that anyone in real life b/c I'm afraid what they will think of me.

Phew, this is long and rambling, but I feel better about getting it off my chest. I'm really glad I found this board. I was really surprised to see how many on the board have PCOS. I only know one person in real life that has it and we're not really close; she's a former coworker of husband's. I don't feel like people really understand how I feel. My sister (the one I mentioned earlier) is finishing up PA school this summer and even she doubts the diagnosis and thinks my NP (who's been practicing for 20+ years) is wrong. My sister is really stubborn and judgmental. Thanks for listening and HAPPY NEW YEAR

Blueyed228 · December 2011

Hi and welcome.

Dont stress yourself about the younger sister stuff. My sister is 3 years younger than me, got married first and has 2 kids. Its really no big deal. I thought it would bother me, but it really didnt. If it she does have one first, it doesnt mean your parents are going to love your child any less. Believe me, grandparents have plenty of love to go around

katib77 · December 2011

welcome to the board! You're fears, while maybe a little selfish are understandable. I hope you can keep your job and begin treatment soon!

ashleymarie512 · December 2011

Thank you....logically I know I'm being selfish and ridiculous, but every now and then my emotions get the best of me. I feel better just getting it all out!

Gregermis · December 2011

Sorry you have to be here, but welcome! You are right, lots of ladies with pcos and even more that will offer support in many other ways. I hope your work situation straightens itself out soon!!

LucyDoll · January 2012

I'm new here too

I probably should have posted an intro instead of spilling it the post I posted.. eek!

Anyhow, good luck and + thoughts!! I hope it all works out!

happilyeverafterxo · January 2012

Hello there, and welcome to the board

I'm so sorry you have to be here, but it's a great place to come for support! There are a lot of ladies here that have PCOS, myself included.

Our stories sound so similar...even the part where my OB told me not to worry about it until I wanted to start TTC. I was young at the time and didn't think anything of it either! Now, here we are almost a year and half later struggling with IF.

Lots of women have overcome PCOS. It helps to know that up front! As far as your younger sister - I get it. I think a lot of us probably have had those same feelings about someone (related or not) at some point.

Try not to let it get to you. Your family will be just as in love with your baby when the time comes (be it first or not). I know it's hard though. That would be tough to have a Wedding so close to your sisters; especially with you being the oldest. Sometimes we naturally feel like we should do things following birth order

Anyway, welcome to the board, and good luck to you! I hope you are able to keep your job, too! Keep us posted!

dimples128 · January 2012

Welcome to the board.

Don't worry about things you cannot control, like your sister getting pregnant before you. All that does is add unneeded stress to you. My younger brother got married two years before me and now has two sweet little girls. DH was the last of 5 to get married and he's the second oldest. We currently have 9 nieces and nephews on his side. Grandparents will love each child unconditionally.

ukcats27 · January 2012

Welcome.

Let's make this official...(warning, I ramble)

Re: Let's make this official...(warning, I ramble)

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