Ferber Moms: Some questions! (read: eleven billion)
DS is breastfed. We're on night 4 and overall, things are going pretty well - he's actually crying A LOT less since we started Ferber than he was before when he was waking every 2-3 hours screaming and crying and eating all night long. We decided to do the progressive waiting approach to address bedtime and also space out night time feedings using the strategy of increasing time between the feeds overnight, because we believe that DS is truly hungry because he's conditioned to eat every 2-3 hours all night long. Some things have already improved:
Naps - I can put him down drowsy and awake and he fusses for less than a minute and then sleeps for 1-2 hours. This is a miracle!
Bedtime - It used to be simple and uneventful. Lately, he needs to be bounced, rocked, nursed again, etc. It was taking us about 45 minutes to an hour to get him down, but now we're back to easy bedtimes with pretty much no crying.
However, we have some questions:
1. In his book, Ferber mentions that feeding/going to LO (when it's not part of the interval check and you've "given up") basically rewards the crying and teaches LO to cry - 'If I cry long enough, I get fed/held'. If we're working to space out (and not completely eliminate) nighttime feeds, what happens if DS wakes an hour or so before the next time he's supposed to be fed and fusses/cries off and on until the time he's due for a feed? This has been the case the last two nights in a row. Is this teaching him that fussing/crying for an hour = eventually being fed and possibly prolonging the crying?
2. When timing intervals between checks, do you stop/re-start the time depending upon what LO is doing? For example, DS really hasn't actually been crying much throughout this whole process. Most of the time, he just whines on and off between silence and sometimes starts to cry, but the actual crying rarely lasts more than a couple of minutes. I've been starting the time between checks only when he is fussing a lot or actually crying, and then if he starts whining or stops for a bit, I stop the time. Is this appropriate? Sometimes, this means we're only actually doing "checks" a couple times in an hour.
3. We usually do one diaper change overnight (since he eats so frequently) and it's normally after one of his feedings and before he goes back into the crib. At what point should we do a diaper change if DS wakes but it's not time to eat? (Sometimes I wonder if having a wet diaper is waking him...) Should we change him at the first check if it's an hour or so before he is due for a feed? Should we wait until it's time for him to eat?
4. Last night and tonight we decided to stick to the 4 hour between feeds schedule (having stretched him from 3 hours) since he has been waking an hour before it's time to eat. Should we keep stretching or is there some cue from DS that will tell us it's okay to keep stretching? When I finally fed him at 3 AM this morning, he didn't eat much (or it didn't seem like it). He just kept smiling up at me (:::melts:::). 
I think he just wanted to cuddle. (But his diaper needed a change, too.)
Sorry for all of the questions! It's hard to keep all of these things straight at 3 AM. 
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Re: Ferber Moms: Some questions! (read: eleven billion)
TheBump ate my profile. Oh well. New and improved.
1. I just let him fuss until it's time and then feed him. If you're changing the spacing every night (or every second night) it won't become a habit because it's a moving target.
2. I think it's fine to go with your gut as long as you're not in the room more often than you're supposed to be. If he's waited out his interval with whimpering and then starts crying murder again, I go in.
3. I don't change. I give him a ridiculously huge cloth diaper. Are you using overnight diapers? Could you double diaper? I'd cut out the change asap, but I'd do it with a feed in the meantime.
4. I would up the interval by half hour every 2 nights at a minimum if your goal is to get them further apart. DS has done fairly well when I've done that - but you have to be a stickler or you can undo it all in one bad night.
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TheBump ate my profile. Oh well. New and improved.
I was doing 2 MF and a hemp doubler, and I've noticed a big difference when his night feeds are cut back. We can go back to 1 MF and a hemp - so you should notice a difference as soon as you drop a couple night feeds.
Good luck! We're officially taking a bit of a break because my house is full of guests until the 13th and we're stuck sharing a room with the baby. It's all too much to deal with at once.
I'm hoping some of the progress we made over the past 5 nights might stick.
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Fingers crossed for you guys!
TheBump ate my profile. Oh well. New and improved.