Advice for a FTM?
I am due in June and want to have as natural of a birth as possible. I don't think that any of the childbirth classes are going to do me any good (at least none of the ones that are within 50 miles of where I live) and I don't really want to waste time (MH and I would go together, and he works nights from Tues-Sat, so Sun and Mon days are when he has 'off'). I know that there are Bradley books and some of you have been able to go natural just with the books. I will be picking those up soon.
I've lurked on here and learned a lot just from lurking, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice for someone who still has a LONG way to go in pregnancy - I'm already kind of anxious that I won't be able to do it. One of my friends is on the L&D floor in the hospital I'll be delivering at and they've told me that only a small fraction of women are able to do a natural birth, and only if you prepare.
WTH does 'prepare' mean? What did you do to prepare? I'm not able to do very strenuous exercise as it causes a lot of cramping and my OB has told me to keep it to a minimum, so I've opted for prenatal yoga 3-4 times per week.
Re: Advice for a FTM?
My best advice for preparation: Read the Bradely book, read the hypnobirthing book, read natural birth stories, read "the thinking woman's guide to a better birth", set your mind to doing it, look into hiring a doula, and/or get your husband educated as well so he can be an advocate for you.
You can do it!!
I was supposed to come to bed instead of responding to 'another' bump post (lol) but I couldn't sleep past this one! It makes me very sad that you were actually told that 'very few women are able to give birth naturally'. AGH! SO NOT TRUE!!!!
After reflecting, I do understand that someone in l&d working mostly with women who were not well informed, who were being advised strictly by a doc or OB and not told about choices available to them may believe this based on what she has seen. I don't think any nurse in my hospital (a very large city hospital) would be able to make that statement, because in BC (canada) we can choose a midwife instead of an OB and she is the one in charge of assisting the delivery at the hospital, so the nurses on duty get to see natural labours all the time as they assist the midwives. I think in many places midwives only do home or birth center deliveries. Not in europe though! the vast majority of women in holland for example give birth with a midwife... many of them naturally. Oh... and my two sis in laws had the regular doctor on duty for their 7 babies (between them) and they both had perfectly normal, natural labours. I think only one delivery had an epidural, but baby was still born regularly, the epi just helped her sleep for a while.
And ok, yes I do think preperation is necessary.. Especially if you have a regular OB and prenatal classes aren't particulary a good value for you in your area. 'Prepare' is not the physical, although your yoga classes sound great, you already have way more exercise then me with DS and I had a fully natural birth! It's all mental/emotional. So much of the pain of labour is wrapped up in fear. The more you know, the better you will be able to fight that fear. Having a midwife is the easiest way because she gives so much info at each visit and really informs you of all your options and what to expect. You also have the peace of mind of knowing that she desires the same things you do in terms of natural labour... and if she recommends an intervention it's for a good reason!
I would highly recommend you looking into a Doula. She will be able to help inform you about stuff you might miss by not going to a good lamaze or bradley class, and will be such a great support and voice for you in labour. There are some great stats about how much doulas reduce the need for interventions and meds in labour. so much so that the gov. up here is considering adding them to the health care coverage. (because less interventions saves SO much money)
If this is not an option, (or even with her) the best thing you can do to prepare is to read and research. there are some good movies out there (business of being born is one) and lots of great natural childbirth books. I learned so much that way. Write a birth plan, the books or websites can tell you how, and make sure you know before you go into labour what YOU want... and that your husband, your doc and all the nurses know too. Post it on your door or above your bed! Obviously labour is unpredictable and things happen that we may wish had not, but that is no reason to just 'go with the flow' and think you will make those decisions in the moment. Feel free to imagine your ideal labour and to plan for that, and also read about interventions, and know that these are tools which can save you and your baby's lives. There is no reason for shame if something 'goes wrong' but there is also no reason to plan for/expect it either, because you could be just fine. The critical thing, with any tool, is knowing WHEN to use it, This is where I feel many doctors fail, in using a medicine or procedure too quickly to save time, or because they just have a bad habit... are simply not trained to know an alternative way. So read about the best time to give different pain meds, epidurals, wether or not an episiotomy is at all useful (hint: it's not) and if there are things to try (like moving positions) before a vacuum or forceps gets pulled out. Be clear how you would like your ideal labour to go, and then at what point you would like to be offered drugs etc.
there. I just summarized everything I learned in my prenatal classes. Please know that 'natural childbirth' is in fact very doable.. as women have been successfully having babies since the beginning of time :P You are not sick, you are pregnant, and your body is very well made to bring this baby into the world!
Good luck, happy studying!
Breastfeeding and pregnant!