Pregnancy sanity advice
Hi ladies!
So my hormones got the best of me last night and I had a breakdown. My husband and I are expecting our first (18 weeks along now) and we live 1,000 miles away from any of our family. And because of the are we live in we have had some unexpected surprises when it comes to insurance and costs expected so he's picked up a second job to help cover the cost of insurance and future childcare costs. We have friends here but nobody who has children, they are more focused on parties and having a good time. I am especially frustrated because the girls I have had contact with live in a totally different world than me so I don't really have any female friends that I have anything in common with.
Basically I think my breakdown had to do with financial stress and loneliness. Do you girls have any suggestions about how to deal with this this stuff? Suggestions on how to attempt to find some other mother's to be or at least build a support system so I don't lose my mind? I know I can always join a mommy group after baby arrives in June and that will help too..
Thanks for letting me vent!
Crazy in South Florida
Re: Pregnancy sanity advice
I'm sorry you feel this way! I completely understand about the financial stress. It's so much to think about, but I remind myself that almost everyone with kids goes through this. I asked my good friend who's little boy is 4 how they budgeted for adding him to the family before he was born and she said they really didn't. They paid off the hospital bills little by little, interest-free (which you can usually do with medical bills) and that somehow they found the money each month for diapers/childcare, etc. Over time she realized they were eating out less and just kind of shifting money around, but it didn't feel like a huge financial burden to them even though their combined salary wasn't that great. Every time I start to get stressed out when I'm budgeting and adding up costs, I think of that conversation and feel a little better.
Maybe you could go to some pre-natal yoga or exercise classes or La Leche League meetings (if you're planning to breastfeed) to meet some other pregnant ladies. Good luck!
Sorry you are having such a rough time. I used to live in Colorado while my family and almost all of my friends live on the east coast. I was going through a really rough time. It was amazing how helpful it was that every once in a while, someone would come to Colorado for a weekend visit.
You could also check your OB office and hospital to see if they have any support groups or classes available that you can start meeting other expecting mothers.
https://www.meetup.com/ is a non-dating website that is great for meeting people with similar interests. Check your area for meetups about pregnancy or motherhood, or even hobbies you enjoy. Or you can set up your own meetup group if there is nothing yet in your area.
Good luck and hang in there. I have found that going through really rough times really helped me grow as a person.
I don't have any advice really. It tough times around here. I too am worried about making friends with mothers who have young children. None of my friends have kids. I often feel a bit lonely, and the friends I already have seem to be getting bored with talking about babies & pregnancy, ect.
I'm hoping that everything will work out. Hoping I will make some friends after the baby comes when I take her to the beach or playground. Considering joining a mothers group or something.
I wish I could be more help, but I live in Maine, so it'd be a pretty long commute. :-)
Good luck to you! Stay positive!!
Don't worry... You are not alone! I am in a similiar boat. DH and I live 850+ miles away from my family. Though, his family is right down the road but that's not really the 'same' for me. It's been an emotional rollercoaster as I've pretty much had to deal with all things pregnancy on my own. I have few friends and little family so my DH is my main (and only real) support system. Needless to say, poor guy has a lot on his plate between my hormones and our financial stabillity--I guess I really do owe him so more credit =P
I defintely recommend becoming a part of mommy-groups if those are available to you. I also recommend getting involved into new hobbies such as arts and crafts. There are some groups in my area that meet weekly and work on different projects such as scrapbooking, crocheting, quilt making, etc.
Above all, try not to stress. I know the stressors right now seem really extreme and our hormones don't help it but it will all come together
Happy New Year!