Attachment Parenting
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Bedsharing vs co-sleeping
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How did you come the decision to do one or the other? I am so torn. I really want to bedshare but the prospect of suffocation/SIDS bothers me a lot. At the same time some people insist it decreases the risk of sids. It seems like such a catch 22.
We are co-sleeping which is fine but I know DD would sleep better if we started bedsharing. Also she is 5 pounds so if not now, what age/size do you think would be appropriate to start?
I've read a lot about it. including the links you guys often list here but I'm still torn.
Born at 26 weeks 2 days gestation, 2 pounds 2 ounces due to IC/PTL,
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
and after 82 days in the NICU, our little girl is home!
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Re: Bedsharing vs co-sleeping
I wanted to cosleep, but I had a rough recovery with DS and couldn't lift him in and out of the bassinet, so into bed he came. Even though I was a really heavy sleeper and would toss and turn pre-children, I've always been hyper aware of him and maintain my position in bed to keep him shielded. We would nurse, and since he had some spitting up issues (due to allergies) I'd have him slightly inclined, using my arm as a pillow. That kept him off the mattress, kept his airway open and free, and I could feel him stir. Plus if I had him between me and DH, I had my arm protecting him in case DH started rolling toward us.
We all got more sleep with bedsharing and it just worked out really well for our family. If you're nervous about it, try napping with her first since adults have lighter sleep cycles during the day. If you find she naps better with you and you're comfortable doing that, move into night sleep.
Since you've been reading, I'm sure you're aware of the no blankets near baby, no pillows near baby, no loose-fitting pajamas on your part, and of course no alcohol or drowsiness-inducing drugs. They also make products to give baby their own space in bed (snuggle nest, I want to call it?) that you could look into.
Anyway, I hope you find a sleeping arrangement that works for you, good luck!
I think I would have been more nervous about SIDS if I had a premie like your LO. There are several risk factors for SIDS and that is one of them. I would try to reduce other risks, like by having a fan in the room, laying her on her back, no blankets, not to overheat etc. Have LO sleep next to you only, not between you and DH. I have a snugglenest and DS1 slept in that the first few months. Once he was about 3-4 months, we just did the normal bedsharing.
We always started off DS sleeping on his own and still do. We will sleep with him once it's our bedtime. But it's been a good habit for him to be in. I have a friend that goes to bed at 7ish every night with her kids. I just can't do that!
Anyways. I think pp sugesttion of napping with LO first is a good idea. Bedsharing isn't as tricky as it seems. GL!
Bedsharing decreases, not increases, the risk of SIDS. However, there can be definite concerns about overlaying or suffocating in blankets. Dr. James McKenna and Dr. William Sears both have tips for safe bedsharing to reduce the risks of suffocating.
We used a co-sleeper until DS was about 6 months old; I was also afraid of SIDS and decided that a co-sleeper was the best bet for us.
Ultimately, it was DS who "decided" to sleep in our bed... or, more accurately, decided that he wasn't going to sleep unless he was in my arms. By then, he was sitting up and rolling independently, and army crawling - I was confident in his ability to move if he didn't like his positioning at any given time.
We plan to use a co-sleeper again with our next babe, until he/she "tells" us otherwise.
Hello - I have a preemie as well, though looks as though yours was a micro and each prem is different. We started bedsharing because of DS reflux - he was around 5+ lbs when we started and on a monitor (from NICU). He slept propped against me and it increased his comfort greatly. I was very, very aware of him after going through everything and finally having him home, you know? I think prem moms have a hyper-awareness.
FWIW we'd always planned to cosleep because we're in a one BR and DH coslept through preschool age and loved it.
We had to stop bedsharing but we'll return to it in the future if it's something that just happens like it did before
If you aren't comfortable with bed sharing, don't do it, please. Co-sleeping also reduces the risks of SIDs (from what I've read).
We co-slept until she was too big for her bassinet. Then she moved into our bed with us and has been there since.
Make a decision that you are comfortable with.