How would you handle grown child unauthorized cc use?
Hopeforthebest
member
I will try to make this short.
DH ordered college books for older daughter 1st semester thru Chegg. Some kind of rental thing you can do.He had been trying since June (high school graduation) to discuss him transfering some of his GI bill to her. She won't return phone calls, flat out ignores him. Until it was time for college to start when she told him about Chegg to order some books she wanted/needed for 1st semester.
He ordered them and told her AGAIN he'd like to hear from her more than just when she wanted something, yadda yadda. She has GI $ (a lot) transferred to her but since she won't return calls, whatever the final step is to get it to the school hasn't happened. I don't know if she forgot, doesn't understand how much she would get (including a stipend) or what.It would have paid for all the books 2nd semester which I guess is starting soon because this morning I logged on to our bank account to make sure my 1st direct deposit from new job went in and low and behold the child ordered books and charged it to the card on file (DH's) without telling him. She didn't even call /msg back Merry Christmas but she used his card without bothering to tell him. Even if it were an accident, wouldn't you TELL the person hey your card accidentally got chgd? It wasn't but I'm just trying to think of all angles.
How should DH handle this in your opinion?
Re: How would you handle grown child unauthorized cc use?
First, if I were your DH, I'd de-activate the card on the account.
Second, I'd call her up immediately and tell her that she is not to charge anything to your card/account again without getting approval.
Third, if she does not make more of an effort in your relationship, he will not continue to financially support her. A face to face, sit down visit to her might be in order.
And last. If you have any other children. Start teaching them right now that rudeness, disrespect, and entitlement will get you nowhere in your household and there are consequences.
So far this morning DH contacted the debit/cc company and did dispute the charge.
Shouldn't be a problem with the $ getting reveresed back to account. He also removed his card from the Chegg account where he initially ordered the books, I think because her email was associated with the Chegg account that is how she was able to choose his card again as the method of payment. (This is why I feel it wasn't an accident).
I don't know how he will have any kind of talk with her, when she won't return phone calls even for a "Merry Christmas" or here kid I'm gifting you my GI Bill.
I just know this is gonna turn around and be HIS fault, he'll be the bad guy (in her eyes and probably the BM). I'm just flabbergasted she would do something like this.
All of this!!
Simple. "DD, if you called me back one of the X amount of times I called you then I could have helped you get the money you needed from the GI bill I am so graciously trying to gift to you but instead you chose to use my CC without permission and without so much as letting me know it happened." There is no argument, if she argues then he tells her when she can be respectful he will talk to her and he hangs up. He can also remind her that stealing is criminal.