Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

RP re birthday invitation requesting no gifts... need advice!

DS got a TON for christmas and already had a lot of toys. There are many many things that we are just going to donate to local charities because he has multiples, doesn't need it, or we don't have room.

So, I want to put this quote on his invitation "Your presence is the only present desired" BUT I know that grandparents and my siblings will bring gifts. I do not want anyone to feel awkward about not bringing gifts.

Any advice or thoughts? BTW, we are VERY thankful for what DS has and has been given... don't want to sound ungrateful.

It doesn't help that his birthday and Christmas are only a few weeks apart.

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Re: RP re birthday invitation requesting no gifts... need advice!

  • We put that line on DS's birthday invitation because we flew home for his party and didn't want to fly back with extra stuff. We had about 35-40 people at his party and everyone still brought a gift. I expected his grandparents and my siblings to still get him a gift but not all my friends and his old daycare buddies. I had to pay an extra bag fee just to get them all home.

    We didn't open the gifts at the party. I wrote thank you cards for everything. We gave away duplicate gifts and put some stuff away for spring.  Most of what we got ended up being books, clothes, and gift cards.


    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 
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  • imagehmp&mrj:

    We put that line on DS's birthday invitation because we flew home for his party and didn't want to fly back with extra stuff. We had about 35-40 people at his party and everyone still brought a gift. I expected his grandparents and my siblings to still get him a gift but not all my friends and his old daycare buddies. I had to pay an extra bag fee just to get them all home.

    We didn't open the gifts at the party. I wrote thank you cards for everything. We gave away duplicate gifts and put some stuff away for spring.  Most of what we got ended up being books, clothes, and gift cards.

    This.  I put the same quote on the invitation for my 1st son's first birthday and it didn't do squat.  Everyone still brought a gift and I felt like an idiot.  I really want to do a little get together for DS2's birthday (he turned 1 on Monday, but since it's still the holidays, I want to wait til early January).  I really don't want people to feel like they need to bring a gift, especially since it's so soon after the holidays and everyone's probably broke.  But I'll probably end up putting nothing about gifts because no one will listen.

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  • imageBeanie_mrt:
    What about "in lieu of a gift, please make a donation to your favorite charity."

    I'd either do this or just suck it up and return/donate toys that she won't use. Personally, I like getting gifts for kids and would give a present even if it said no presents on the invitation. If the invite suggested a charity donation, I'd do that but maybe still give a small gift (a book or something). I just don't like showing up empty-handed. 

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  • I think it's fine to put "no gifts please" or whatever on the invitation.  If someone shows up with a gift, nicely thank them and then put the gift in a closet or in another room.  No one wants to show up without a gift and then see the present table full of gifts they didn't bring.  Also, and this seems obvious to me, there should be no present opening.  I once went to a "no presents" party where some people brought gifts and others didn't and they still did a big present opening, which made everyone who didn't bring a gift feel very uncomforatble!
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  • We did this for my DD1's 3rd birthday in October.  I figured that people would still want to bring a gift so I sent a note saying that instead of gifts, bring a book and the kids could do a book exchange. That way everyone got to open a present, there was nothing for me to have to find a place for, and everyone would leave happy.  I was a bit concerned about the perception of others (telling them what to bring) and asked around and got the thumbs up from everyone asked.  I cannot tell you how many people RAVED about the idea at the party!!  I am still getting comments from people about how they are going to 'steal' the idea.  The best part was not having an over-stimulated, spoiled  3 year old at the end of the party!!  She still got a gift from her Aunt and from a close friend, but everyone else followed the request- it was fabulous!

    Here's the note: This is a 'no presents' party.  Please!  Your presence is your present.  Instead, if your child would like to participate in a book exchange, please bring a wrapped children's book that we will put in a basket.  At the party's end, the children will be able to choose a book to take home with them.  Thank you!

     

  • I'm not one to hold to etiquette, so for DDs first birthday, I specifically said, in lieu of a gift for DD, please go buy yourself something and tell us about it! I knew that not everyone would listen, but sme people did, and we did indeed ask them to share the story of what they got! Works for us and our friends, who are quite informal, but she did still get plenty of things.
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  • I would just let it go and let people bring gifts if they want to.  You can always put the gifts aside in storage and bring the toys out when he gets bored with the ones he has.  You can donate clothes to someone in more need.  I personally would still bring a gift even if an invite said not to.
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