To circumcise or not to circumsise... that is my question

meggsny · December 2011

So I am really not sure what to do about this. I know it is really personal preference or religious tradition but for me i am utterly confused. The arguments for both sides are extremely valid and I def. see both sides.

DH is not circumcised, and is very adamant that our son not be. But I am not sold on it. Bacteria, looks, etc are holding me back. Plus everyone in my family is and they will be assisting with him more then his family. I do feel it is a bit more socially acceptable to be circumcised but i am just not sure if that should be my reason. But there is the part of me that wants my son and his father to be the same.

I would love to hear arguments for and against this, or how you came to your conclusion. I am really struggling with this one.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · December 2011

I don't get the whole bacteria argument. Girls are born with folds of skin and we are more than capable of dealing with it.

barnwife · December 2011

Ivana.Stolichnaya:
I don't get the whole bacteria argument. Girls are born with folds of skin and we are more than capable of dealing with it.

Ditto.

I have no idea why people think a circ'ed penis is cleaner than an uncirc'ed one. They both have to be cleaned. So do your kids hands and feet and armpits. Not teaching a LO the proper way to clean any body part (face, feet, genitals, whatever) is unclean. A properly cleaned body part is just that. And it doesn't matter if it was altered for cosmetic or religious or medical purposes.

DS is not circumcised. If this LO is a boy, he won't be either.

McGibbon51311 · December 2011

I have opinions on the procedure and so does my husband, and that's what matters for our situation and our boys. The same goes for you. Not to be rude, but what you do for your son needs to be a decision that you and your husband make in conjunction with the pediatrician. What a bunch of people on the internet have to say about their feelings or reasonings are not nearly as important as what you and your doctor decide.

beckybeth123 · December 2011

My feeling is that since it's not medically necessary, it's basically male genital mutilation. And, as for the argument that it's socially acceptable, so is cutting off the clitoris in many parts of the world. Doesn't make it right.

iris2717 · December 2011

the idea of circumcising my poor LO when it isnt proven to be medically necessary almost brings me to tears. i would never.

MotherMonster · December 2011

I'm Jewish and we circumcise. Not just because of religion, but my grandfather actually had to be due to problems with his penis later in life.

I think it's beneficial, because as a CNA I have taken care of many men who were not circumcised and they didn't clean themselves properly (those who did their own peri-care). I feel it's cleaner and easier to care for. Either way the area should be getting cleaned properly. The WHO says that circumcised men are 50% less likely to contract AIDS and HIV.

However, if I was having a boy and my DH really wanted my child to be left intact, I would honor that. It's just instilling going washing practices.

allisonud · December 2011

I think the fact that your husband is not circumcised and is "very adamant" that your son should not be should be the biggest factor in your decision. If you had a very strong argument as to why he should be circumcised then it might be an issue, but since you don't, I think you should leave the decision up to your DH.

MrsMincks · December 2011

I agree with leaving it up to your husband - that's what I did.

FTR, I have known circumcised women...it is not the same thing as male circumcision. I do understand how people may see it that way, but female genital mutilation is a much more invasive, disruptive, and traumatic procedure than male circumcision. I don't want to start a big ol' debate about it, but I just couldn't let that go without saying something about it. It's perfectly valid to not want to circumcise your son, but I think comparing it to FGM isn't quite fair.

Kristinmo · December 2011

allisonud:
I think the fact that your husband is not circumcised and is "very adamant" that your son should not be should be the biggest factor in your decision. If you had a very strong argument as to why he should be circumcised then it might be an issue, but since you don't, I think you should leave the decision up to your DH.

All of this. DS is circumcised. I did not feel strongly about it but DH did. Since your h is not he will be able to teach your son proper cleaning and then bacteria is not a concern.

I would also talk to your pedi and ask about circ rates in your area. I think you will find not being circumcised is more common than you think and that should help wih your socially acceptable fears.

caitlyn0216 · December 2011

I am circumsizing because that is what Liams father and I decided to do for our son. If DH is adamant then I would do it. T wanted him to be done and frankly he knows more about penises than I do.

kris2131 · December 2011

Kristinmo:
allisonud:
I think the fact that your husband is not circumcised and is "very adamant" that your son should not be should be the biggest factor in your decision. If you had a very strong argument as to why he should be circumcised then it might be an issue, but since you don't, I think you should leave the decision up to your DH.
All of this. DS is circumcised. I did not feel strongly about it but DH did. Since your h is not he will be able to teach your son proper cleaning and then bacteria is not a concern.
I would also talk to your pedi and ask about circ rates in your area. I think you will find not being circumcised is more common than you think and that should help wih your socially acceptable fears.

I agree with both PPs. If your DH is adamant against doing it, why don't you trust him? Our boy will be circumcised, and I left it up to DH. DH wants him to be, so we're doing it. Since your DH is not, he knows the best way to care for it and has done so his entire life.

kmberman · December 2011

allisonud:
I think the fact that your husband is not circumcised and is "very adamant" that your son should not be should be the biggest factor in your decision. If you had a very strong argument as to why he should be circumcised then it might be an issue, but since you don't, I think you should leave the decision up to your DH.

I agree, if your husband does not want it done then that should matter more than what anyone on the internet or any of your friends have to say. DS is circumsised and so will this LO, but that is a decision the FI and I made and did not let anyone else sway our decision. Talk it over with your husband and if he is that adamant about not doing it then don't do it. You can learn how to properly care for it form the ped, and then as long as you teach him how to take care of it there should not be any problems.

Good luck with your decision!

MrsMincks · December 2011

Loolaide:
MrsMincks:
I agree with leaving it up to your husband - that's what I did.
FTR, I have known circumcised women...it is not the same thing as male circumcision. I do understand how people may see it that way, but female genital mutilation is a much more invasive, disruptive, and traumatic procedure than male circumcision. I don't want to start a big ol' debate about it, but I just couldn't let that go without saying something about it. It's perfectly valid to not want to circumcise your son, but I think comparing it to FGM isn't quite fair.
I think people are saying that conceptually it's the same thing. Not that it's as painful or invasive for men. At least, that's how I equate the two in my mind, but I know that male circumcision is a simple medical procedure that is sterile and commonly practiced in many parts of the world without issue while there are many more complex societal implications with communities that practice female circumcision. FGM is totally cruel and, to me, its practitioners despicable.
I had a boyfriend once who was uncircumcised and he said that circumcision reduced sensation during sex (obviously not from first hand experience), but when I looked for that online, I found conflicting information and wasn't able to actually find a study (probably because it'd be hard to do one, since males who have had circumcisions as adults and would be able to answer that aren't that common).

Oh, I don't think anyone is saying they're technically the same thing - but the comparison tends to frustrate me a bit, since I have worked directly with women who have been victims of FGM. It's my knee-jerk response to get a bit defensive about it. Hopefully no one thinks they are comparable!

I have heard that same thing about circumcision and sex - I brought it up to my husband, who just shrugged and said "I'm circumcised and I still like sex a whole lot, so..." Made me laugh :-)

Texas77again · December 2011

i'm so glad we had our weekly circ post...what would we do without them?

do what you want to do, it's your baby. i don't want to have it done to our baby, DH does. we'll see who wins in the end.

there, did that help you to make a decision? yeah that's what i thought. i'll wait for next week's post...

lexieberry · December 2011

It wasn't a huge issue for us, weirdly. I had my reservations about the procedure at first, but I really left it up to my boyfriend because he knows more about that dept and the benefits lol....so we're going to have him circumcised at the hospital. Good luck with your decision!

Jessimurph · December 2011

allisonud:
I think the fact that your husband is not circumcised and is "very adamant" that your son should not be should be the biggest factor in your decision. If you had a very strong argument as to why he should be circumcised then it might be an issue, but since you don't, I think you should leave the decision up to your DH.

This. Especially since it's basically cosmetic surgery. My hospital has a 50% rate of circumcision and someone told me that not all insurances cover it because it's not medically necessary. My husband is adamant that our son be circumcised because he is. I sent him all the info I have on it and my opinion but will leave the finaldecision up to him.

jaemiller · December 2011

I know that people say that hygiene shouldn't factor in to your decision but at the age of 8, my brother (who was not circumcised) had to be circumcised to do hygiene problems. I would rather my son be circumcised at birth than at the age of 8! That is what factored in to my decision with DS #1, also my DH wanted our sons to be circumcised. Good luck with your decision, its not an easy one!

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