Late Term and Child Loss

oversensitive? (kind of unrelated to loss)

Yesterday was my birthday.  I didn't make a spectacle of it.  I took it off my Facebook profile.  I took it off about a month ago cuz it's all wrapped up in a very hard time of year.  We lost Adam just 2 weeks after my birthday last year, so it's kind of just another reminder.  I didn't want people to forget about it, but I didn't make a point to bring it up either. 

Two of my "good" friends forgot; friends that I considered best friends at points over the years.  One of them I've know since middle school.  We've had varying levels of closeness.  We never had a falling out, but we kinda grew apart.  We still text and we involve each other in birthday parties, baptisms, etc for all our kids.  I still tell her things first before I announce to the world (like when I found out I was pregnant).  My other friend was there for me a lot when Adam passed away, and our families are pretty close.  We recently have had a falling out, but we talked about it.  Things are not the same with us at all, but we are still friendly.  Again, she finds out things before others do.

Last night it didn't bother me.  Actually, I wasn't surprised.  Today, it's bugging me.  I grew up in a house with a mother who sent birthday cards to everyone and still does.  I'm kinda the same way, mostly with people I'm close to.  Maybe that's why I think it's so rude for two very good friends to forget.  Am I just being overly sensitive cuz my birthday is wrapped up in this very hard time of year for us?  Or was this pretty rude? 

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Re: oversensitive? (kind of unrelated to loss)

  • imageClaireFraser1:

    Honestly, if it wasn't for FB reminding me then I would forget a lot of people's birthdays and it's not because I don't love those people.

    Having said that, I would be upset if people forgot my birthday as well.  It's tough because I would be upset just like you are but at the same time I am one of those people that would forget.  I really don't think they meant to hurt you and it was an innocent mistake.  (((hugs)))

    This exactly, even if I "know" the date, it's so easy to not notice that day has come.  ((hugs)) 

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  • I'm so sorry they forgot and you have the right to be mad. I grew up with a friend we aren't super tight but we are still friends and she and I always tell each other happy birthday I just never forget her birthday and the same with her.  I am so sorry that you were hurt on your birthday. Hugs and I know you didn't want to annnounce it but "happy birthday a day late" ;)

    Heather

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
  • Thank you ladies.  Sometimes I need others to bring me back to reality.  I think it was the way I grew up.  My mom remembered everyone, so it's something that I've always done. 
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  • Happy belated Birthday!  *hug hugs*

    I'm sorry people forgot.  I tend to refrain from pointing out my birthday, but that doesn't mean it isn't nice when people remember it and say so.  However, I do agree with PP....I "know" dates, but I can't seem to keep up with time and where the days are going let alone the actual date it is.  I find that it's even worse since losing Logan. 

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  • imageClaireFraser1:

    Honestly, if it wasn't for FB reminding me then I would forget a lot of people's birthdays and it's not because I don't love those people.

    Having said that, I would be upset if people forgot my birthday as well.  It's tough because I would be upset just like you are but at the same time I am one of those people that would forget.  I really don't think they meant to hurt you and it was an innocent mistake.  (((hugs)))

    I agree with this.  I'm pretty bad with dates.  That said, I have my best friends' birthdays memorized.  I would probably be hurt, but I doubt it was an intentional mistake on their part.  (((HUGS))) and happy birthday to you.

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
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    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • The friend from middle school just texted me saying she just realized today's date.  I guess I was just being over sensitive.
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  • You aren't being oversensitive.  At all.  In fact I can honestly say that I get it.  My V=Bday is Sept 6th Kam died on Sept 10th...Ugh I dread my bday...

    But, even begging for it to be ignored..It still hurts for people to completely forget about it.  They are supposed to care about you, and even if you don't want to celebrate the day well they should still tell you they love you and they are happy you are here!!

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