Intro...(kinda long)

Hi ladies! I have been lurking on this board for a few months now and I figured I would finally introduce myself. H and I are in the process of getting a divorce. Court date is in February. Long story short, H is a good guy and a great father to our 3-year old daughter. However, he had a drinking and gambling problem that was getting out of control. I tried my absolute hardest to make things work , but ultimately me leaving was the only thing that lit the fire under his butt to get the help that he needed. H does not want this divorce at all, but I know my H and I just feel like if I went back that he would eventually get comfortable again and everything would start up all over again.

I am completetly at peace with my decision but I have been somewhat struggling with the whole visitation thing. Currently, H has DD every Monday during the day (which isn't so bad since I am a teacher and work all day anyway, I usually pick her up on my way home from school) Then he has her all day and over night on Wednesdays and all day and over night every other Sunday. I guess I am struggling with the fact that there are actually certain nights where my child is not sleeping under my roof.I know this sounds stupid but having her away from me makes me feel like a part-time parent or something. Married couples get to see their children every day and have them sleep under their roofs every night. I guess I hate having to "share" her. Has anyone else felt that way or is my thinking completetly wacky?

I guess the only up side is that when he has her I actually get a little time for myself. I have kind of lost myself over the past couple of years beause I was always such a nervous wreck with everything going on with H. I have been using this time to hang out with family and friends get happy and get back to my old self again.  Anyway, thats my story in a nutshell. Sorry it ended up so long. If you got through it, thanks for reading and I hope I can give you ladies the same support and encouragment I have gotten from you just by reading your posts