Mild case of PPA?
hollster8
member
All of my family has told me that I am extra nervous about LO. My husband always told me that he never wanted to be "those parents" who don't trust anyone to babysit, and I always agreed. I wanted to be laid-back. However, my husband feels that I am the typical overly nervous first-time mom, and my ILs seem to think so as well. I've been thinking about it lately and I'm wondering if I suffer from PPA. The pediatrician told me to be mindful of it but I sort of brushed it off thinking I was okay.
I looked up the symptoms and I don't have the shakes or panic attacks or anything severe. But I do keep myself up at night sometimes thinking of horrible (and completely irrational) things that could happen to my baby. Strange things like wolves attacking her, people breaking into our house and hurting her, people stealing her, etc. I'm also very hesitant to let her stay with a sitter for the night. I just don't like it and I'd rather just spend the evening having her with us. I've done it several times but it's been short evenings out (3-4 hours max). I stress about little things with her and I over research everything. I am sort of a nerd with learning about her development and various ways of feeding, training, etc. because I was a child development major in college, so some of the researching could be blamed on the fact that it just really interests me.
Should I call the doctor about this? Am I just a typical first-time mom with first-time mom worries? I'm really bummed out tonight because I tried talking to my husband about it and he laughed when I told him about my wolf "daydreams" and dreams of my baby getting hurt. Then as I continued to talk about it he asked me if I could wait until the commercials because he wanted to watch WIFE SWAP.... I was just pretty hurt by it because I really wanted someone to talk to and he didn't seem to want to listen. I mean, when the commercial came on he muted the TV and said, "so what else did you want to say about your wolves?" but it was not very sincere and by that point I wasn't interested in sharing anymore. I sort of feel like he may not understand that if I do have PPA that it isn't because I am a perfectionist (which is true) or OCD or whatever.
I'd really appreciate any input or advice you ladies have to give. I don't want to over react to my nervousness if it is normal, and I also don't want to leave it untreated if I need to get help for anxiety issues.
TIA.
Re: Mild case of PPA?
I'm just lurking over here tonight, but wanted to respond. I sought counseling for anxiety while pregnant. I've always been a high-strung kind of person and just thought it was normal, but with the added stress of pregnancy it just all boiled over on me one day.
The bold part above is what sticks out to me. I believe there is some normal FTM stress with a new baby. But, worrying about things that are 99.99999% not going to happen, that's anxiety. See, I always thought that "stressing" over stuff was normal. But, it doesn't have to be your normal - especially when it comes to what you've described above.
If you think you've got anxiety, it doesn't hurt to seek a professional to talk about it. I know, for me, I never thought what I had was anxiety...and then one day, it all just got to be too much and I had a panic attack. You're safer to address it before it gets to that point.
Just talking to someone helped me learn ways to keep myself from having those irrational fears that were making me cry myself to sleep at night.
I was just diagnosed with PPA at 15m PP. I worried about little things but more than the average first time mom. I lived in the future, or the "what if" future before I ever lived. I think you should see someone before it snowballs and you get panic attacks, sleep problems, etc.
One bit of advice my therapist had for me is: when you are eating eat, when you are playing, play with my LO, when you are surfing the internet, just surf. I was playing with my LO but I wasn't really there.
Seek help, even if it's not PPA yet, you might learn skills to help you deal with everything a little better. I felt guilty about seeking help, because I knew I wasn't seriously mentally ill, but I'm so glad I did.