PPD Help- Alternative Treatments, Please Help
lunarsongbird
member
Hi Ladies- I've come to you for help, since this seems to be one of the most active boards today on TB.
I have a friend who has PPD (who has really actually probably battled depression for most or her life)- who is really stuggling. I'm friends with her H too...and he's SUPER defensive about the possbility of anti-depressants or "drugs", as he likes to call them. ::sigh::
It seems like he doesn't believe in depression, PPD...or the fact that it's chemical. He told me point blank, "My wife doesn't have a chemical imablances..." that it's just the stress of running a household. I told him that MANY new mothers are able to run a household without having suicidal thoughts.
I absolutely think she needs to go to the doctor. What do you ladies think?
Also- do you know of other treatments for PPD that work well- other then "drugs?"
P.S. I freaking love my "drugs"- they have changed my life and I don't think there is any shame in taking them.
Thanks for listening, ladies. I'm desperate to help my friend.
Re: PPD Help- Alternative Treatments, Please Help
Well, your friend's first problem is that her husband dictates her healthcare decisions. When I needed to go on meds for postpartum anxiety, I called my doc and made an appointment- and told DH about it that night at dinner. It's her body, her depression, and her choice to take medications- if she feels like she needs help, then she needs to tell her controlling, dumba$$ DH that she's going to do what she needs to do in order to feel better.
If she doesn't want medications, therapy is a good option. Ideally, someone with ongoing or moderate/severe depression would both be in therapy to improve their coping skills AND be prescribed an antidepressant by a psychiatrist.
I know what this is like. I suffered from bad PPD after my daughter and my H just did not understand. He was so angry that I considered going on drugs and not breastfeeding. Because I was in such a fog from the PPD I really thought he was right and I was weak. If said that shiit to me now I would punch him.
So luckily my family and his family talked to him and explained everything about PPD and how formula would be just fine for the baby. I think once his mom talked to him he really understood. Once he was on board I got the help I needed and now I feel great. It is really hard to stand up for yourself when you are that sick.
Is there anyone who could really make an impact on the husband if they talked to him? Can you go with your friend to the doctor? I know I was so scared to go by myself.
Not necessary- I've been on a low dose of Lexapro since 3 months postpartum, and BF the whole time. It is absolutely possible to BF and be on antidepressants.
I tried talking to her H...who I actually really like..I'm was super caught off guard by his behavior. If my H had one suicidal thought.....ONE- we would immediately be at a doctor. _I_ would need to know I was doing EVERYTHING in my power to get him the proper care he needed. Everything...
::sigh::
How much do I want to interfere with their marriage? I'm not very close friends with them....I'm just beside myself. I take depression VERY personnally.
Some people TRULY do not understand depression (or other mental illness).
Depression is like any other medical condition. If she was diabetic, her husband would surely agree that she needs insulin to keep her blood sugars stable. If she had impaired vision, he'd understand that wearing glasses allows her to see. Depression is just as real and sometimes requires medication to allow the person to be healthy.
The bottom line is that your friend needs the support and understanding of her husband, and if he's not willing to give it, you can't make him. But you can talk to your friend and tell her that you are there for her and that you hope she will go to the Dr even if her husband doesnt "get it". Offer to take her yourself.
And since you're friends with the husband, maybe you could level with him and say that even if HE doesnt "believe" in treating depression, it could mean the difference between his wife being able to function and being happy again and him losing his wife- either to the downward spiral of depression and the destruction it leaves in it's path or even to suicide. HE doesnt have to take medication or "drugs", but if he loves his wife, he should at least support her decision to try to get help.
Just to update you gals. I called 6 midwives in our area. I left messages with 4- and spoke with two (both named Dana..LOL).
They had some awesome advice- and one of them has been to over 700 births!
I'm really hoping that she'll speak to this midwife so that she can get the support she needs. I can't force her to go, but I can STRONGLY urge her to go and offer to take her. If the midwives can't help her with her PPD...I'll still strongly suggest medical intervention.
Thanks for helping me come up with what to do! I was just so frustrated earlier I was in tears. I just hate when people don't understand depression. It's just a scary place to be... No one deserves to feel that awful, especially when children are involved.
Do you know of anyone that looked into capsulizing their placenta? I've heard it does wonders for PPD.