I feel like I baby her too much

orchid8407 · December 2011

My DD is 20 months old. My little girl is the best; I love her so much, but I feel that I am babying her. I cuddle with her at night to read a book or talk quietly, but then she doesn't want to go in her crib. She screams and cries! It has gone in phases. There once was a time where she would roll over and go to sleep. When will she take it upon herself to want to go to bed?

She is very clingy with me. That is has gone in phases too, but this is now how it is. Once she's adjusted when we go somewhere she's fine. I give her her space to explore and play, my MIL even complimented me on that, but then DD comes right back to me. She plays independently a lot and she goes to daycare.

I guess my issue is that I feel like she's clingy and at bedtime especially. I let her cling when she needs to, get adjusted or settled, then I have to pry her off of me.

Anyone having this issue?

Kitiara5512 · December 2011

I think thats normal, especially around bedtime. Like you said, its happening in phases. Its not you babying her, just taking care of her needs. However, you can try not to cuddle so much if you think she is overly clingy, thats up to you. DH and I disagree on that, because if I am able to pick up C and cuddle when he cries, I do, but not every time. He thinks I give in too easily.

orchid8407 · December 2011

I think it's my fault somehow. I have made cuddling a routine at bedtime. She gets comfortable on me and then doesn't want to move. I love this time with her, but maybe I just need to change it up. Read, put on pj's then right to crib?

mrsjengle · December 2011

We are having the same issues now too, but for us, it's a little hard to know if it's a clingy night or her current cold or the fact that she's cutting 6 teeth (two are molars). She used to go right to sleep or at least sit in her crib and play until she was ready to sleep, but now we can't even lie her down before she's up at the side of the crib crying to be held.

I think between daycare and her being sick she got cuddled a little to often and we've set a trend. After the cold and teeth cutting is over, we will be less inclined to give in.

BeachBum73 · December 2011

orchid8407:
I think it's my fault somehow. I have made cuddling a routine at bedtime. She gets comfortable on me and then doesn't want to move. I love this time with her, but maybe I just need to change it up. Read, put on pj's then right to crib?

I understand where you are because I was this way with my daughter (who's now 7) but time goes so fast. Unless you are extreme about it, I bet either she or you will decide that it's time to stop at one point. I guess I'm thinking this way because I look at my dd and can't believe she's almost 8 years old! We rocked her to sleep until she was almost two (doesn't really matter now - she's goes to bed just fine), I probably do way too much for her but she is getting to the point where she wants to be a big girl and doesn't want the character shirts/backpacks and doesn't want anyone to know she sleeps with her bear. ETA: Meaning that it's all just phase and they eventually move on...

I think if you try to stop too quickly/before it's time, it might backfire. If it's something that is really bothering you, maybe you can start talking to her about being a big girl - not sure if that will work but maybe prepping her for it now will help her in a few months.

TiffanyBerry · December 2011

She's not even two. It's developmentally NORMAL to be "clingy" (especially when she's tired) because she is still very dependent on you and is in the (long) process of learning to separate herself from you. Don't worry about it, let her express her needs and meet them as appropriate, and it will pass (even if not next week or next month).

3003girl · December 2011

BeachBum73:
orchid8407:
I think it's my fault somehow. I have made cuddling a routine at bedtime. She gets comfortable on me and then doesn't want to move. I love this time with her, but maybe I just need to change it up. Read, put on pj's then right to crib?
I understand where you are because I was this way with my daughter (who's now 7) but time goes so fast. Unless you are extreme about it, I bet either she or you will decide that it's time to stop at one point. I guess I'm thinking this way because I look at my dd and can't believe she's almost 8 years old! We rocked her to sleep until she was almost two (doesn't really matter now - she's goes to bed just fine), I probably do way too much for her but she is getting to the point where she wants to be a big girl and doesn't want the character shirts/backpacks and doesn't want anyone to know she sleeps with her bear. ETA: Meaning that it's all just phase and they eventually move on...

I don't have an older kiddo, but this is how I feel. I don't mind the snuggles and clinginess. She is fine playing with others and I can leave her with DH or the sitter or my family with no problems - for the whole day. But when she is around me she wants to sit on me, hold me, drag me around and snuggle. I am just happy she likes me so much now because I know it will end as she gets older.

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