NYers - has anyone donated embryos to research?

nikinikinine · December 2011

My H and I were planning on doing (and still may be doing) a limited fertilization IVF to lessen the amount of embryos we create.

Our goal is to have one more child. We are open to the idea of two more children. But beyond that we do not want to continue to expand our family.

We are 100% OOP, and as such, this is our last attempt at expanding our family. Now that we are officially cycling we are both feeling overwhelmed by our decision to limit fertilization as we feel that in doing so we may be limiting our chances of actually being able to have another child.

One of the things we are strongly considering is donating our embryos to research. The idea being that we'd be able to help other couples like ourselves in the future. We think of our embryos as potential life, not as children, but as more than just sperm and egg. These decisions are weighing so heavily on us.

Since NY is a stem cell research approved state, donation is possible. I called our RE this morning to find out if such donation is possible through our clinic. But was wondering if anyone here has chosen to donate to research and what that process was like? TIA!

marcuej · December 2011

I don't live in NY, but we donated our 5 embies to stem cell research. When we decided to donate, there wasn't any study going on at the time. Our RE's office stored our embryos free of charge until a study became available. Last spring we were contacted by the clinic and asked if we'd like to donate to the University of Washington who was conducting a new study on stem cells.

We were put in touch with them and went through a very thorough and thoughtful process. I was very impressed with the whole process and we felt very confident in our decision!

cocojack10 · December 2011

We are struggling with the same issues. We currently have 2 frozen, and don't want more than 4 kids! We have contemplated a program the keeps embryos until needed, and uses them for family stem cell. I.e., God forgive one of my children develop diabetes, the embryos may provide assistance in curing the disease. For right now, that is what we feel the most comfortable with.

It is obviosly a very personal decision. We don't feel comfortable donating the embryos, as we feel they were never given a shot at life... then again, if we save them for *what if* situation for helping family, they will never be given the opportunity at life. Tough decision, no matter the situation!

GL!

schoolsoutbride · December 2011

We didn't do it in NY, but that's what we did with our remaining five. They sent them to Stanford. My dad has Parkinson's, so I felt good about being able to contribute to stem cell research. It was harder than I expected, since I have FET babies. I don't want more kids, but having two kids from frozen embies made me see them more as potential children than I expected. I'm fine with it now, though.

DavezWife · December 2011

(grain of salt, but the comment I quote below is kinda "crass" - head's up if you're sensitive)

I asked a lot of people about what does it mean "research" ? and got a typical song and dance about how it's all legit, and they won't be used with stem cell stuff, and blah blah telling me what we wanted to hear. It always seemed like a tapdance to us, no clear answers.

We were frustrated. A LOT of blood, sweat and tears went into these embryos, and we wanted to know what the details were to NOT using them ourselves.

Then one day we were doing a lot of paperwork with the financial guy, who I guess had a higher-up position there" of sorts. We got to talking about "donating embryos" and I kinda led him on to see what HE would say. He basically said "people get so worked up about WHAT we do with them, but in fact, most clinics, including ours, simply 'play around' with them and try new things and let our newer embryologists/students learn from them. They're disposed of when they're done, and that's that."

While I appreciated his candor, and what I can only presume is the truth... I was disheartened (?) to think that's what's really going on.

While I know the idea of donating to another couple is a VERY personal decision, but we gave much thought to the idea after that. (ends up no leftovers, so moot point) and sidebar, we're also interested in adopting embryos in the future for a GC, perhaps, someday, so those tiny little bitties are much appreciated in our hearts (not yours, lol, just in general).

So yeah, not specific to NY, but thought I'd chime in with one dude's quote.

AvaLikeLava · December 2011

I don't live in NY, but we donated one embryo to research and one egg to research. Our clinic (Stanford) is a research clinic, and they have programs ongoing the majority of the time.

Before beginning IVF, Stanford required us to fill out about a 10 page legal document outlining how we wanted to proceed with the eggs retrieved/not used, embryos post first transfer, etc, asking various scenarios about divorce/death/etc. We used this time to really talk about what we wanted to do.

In the end, we had one embryo left after my second transfer. We didn't use it, and told the clinic we wanted to donate it. Since it was thawed, they scrambled to get the donation coordinator to meet with us that same day, we both had to sign some additional paperwork releasing it and that was that.

We were notified about the programs both the egg and embryo would be used toward.

It was really straight forward.

marcuej · December 2011

DavezWife:
(grain of salt, but the comment I quote below is kinda "crass" - head's up if you're sensitive)

I asked a lot of people about what does it mean "research" ? and got a typical song and dance about how it's all legit, and they won't be used with stem cell stuff, and blah blah telling me what we wanted to hear. It always seemed like a tapdance to us, no clear answers.

We were frustrated. A LOT of blood, sweat and tears went into these embryos, and we wanted to know what the details were to NOT using them ourselves.

Then one day we were doing a lot of paperwork with the financial guy, who I guess had a higher-up position there" of sorts. We got to talking about "donating embryos" and I kinda led him on to see what HE would say. He basically said "people get so worked up about WHAT we do with them, but in fact, most clinics, including ours, simply 'play around' with them and try new things and let our newer embryologists/students learn from them. They're disposed of when they're done, and that's that."

While I appreciated his candor, and what I can only presume is the truth... I was disheartened (?) to think that's what's really going on.

While I know the idea of donating to another couple is a VERY personal decision, but we gave much thought to the idea after that. (ends up no leftovers, so moot point) and sidebar, we're also interested in adopting embryos in the future for a GC, perhaps, someday, so those tiny little bitties are much appreciated in our hearts (not yours, lol, just in general).

So yeah, not specific to NY, but thought I'd chime in with one dude's quote.

Wow! That is really surprising to me that they are that cavalier about the embryos. I was so impressed by the process we went through. We had a conference call with the UW doctor in charge and she explained everything about the study and allowed us to ask questions. We had to sign several consent forms and she even followed up with phone calls to make sure we were still ok with moving forward. They were very sensitive to us and so appreciative of our gift for their research.

nikinikinine · December 2011

I called our clinic today to find out if we have the option, when all is said and done, to donate our embryos to research. NY is a stem cell approved state. We believe that life begins at conception, but that an embryo is the potential for a child not a child. However it is more than sperm and egg. Our embryologist called me back almost immediately and she was AMAZING to talk to.

There is a research program through Stanford University that takes in donations from all around the country. We would have to do a phone consult and file paperwork with them. Once we were done expanding our family all cryopreserved eggs are sent to their facility and they pay for the transfer. When a study comes up they will contact us to find out if we want to participate in it and we are able to designate what we are willing to do with our embryos.

We know that we do not want any research that will create life (human or nonhuman via cloning or otherwise) to be performed. The studies are all done by leading research institutions. We can designate whether the stem cells can be used toward ALS research, infertility studies, etc. etc.

I know that if I limit fertilization and I don't conceive I will forever regret my decision to do so. So we have decided to move forward with full fertilization, allow our clinic to designate which embryos are of cryopreservation quality, freeze all embryos created but not transferred in a separate catheter and, once our family is completed, we'll be donating our remaining cryopreserved embryos to Stanford's research center.

And for the first time since starting this process I am 100% at peace with our decision.

nikinikinine · December 2011

DavezWife:

Then one day we were doing a lot of paperwork with the financial guy, who I guess had a higher-up position there" of sorts. We got to talking about "donating embryos" and I kinda led him on to see what HE would say. He basically said "people get so worked up about WHAT we do with them, but in fact, most clinics, including ours, simply 'play around' with them and try new things and let our newer embryologists/students learn from them. They're disposed of when they're done, and that's that."

You were talking to a financial guy - i.e. someone who wasn't perhaps fully educated about "playing around with them" entails. It sounds like when my MIL tries to discuss our IVF process.

We go into a lab and a gynecologist removes all of my eggs and then they implant them back in me.

She generally gets that I have eggs removed, and something happens to them by some professional and then they are put back. The details of what that means, no matter how many times we explain it to her, always seem to be lost.

His cavalier attitude seems more like an instance of a lack of education, rather than an innate knowledge of what happens in the lab. But than again it was you who spoke to him firsthand and not me.

MrsMAF · December 2011

I don't live in NY, but we donated our remaining frozen embryos to research. It was a hard decision because we contemplated donating them to an IF couple, but thought it might be weird to wonder if there was a little one out there of ours. I think donating to research is a good compromise because I feel like we could help another couple by what they might find through the research. Good luck with your decision.

kbeach82 · December 2011

nikinikinine:

I called our clinic today to find out if we have the option, when all is said and done, to donate our embryos to research. NY is a stem cell approved state. We believe that life begins at conception, but that an embryo is the potential for a child not a child. However it is more than sperm and egg. Our embryologist called me back almost immediately and she was AMAZING to talk to.

There is a research program through Stanford University that takes in donations from all around the country. We would have to do a phone consult and file paperwork with them. Once we were done expanding our family all cryopreserved eggs are sent to their facility and they pay for the transfer. When a study comes up they will contact us to find out if we want to participate in it and we are able to designate what we are willing to do with our embryos.

We know that we do not want any research that will create life (human or nonhuman via cloning or otherwise) to be performed. The studies are all done by leading research institutions. We can designate whether the stem cells can be used toward ALS research, infertility studies, etc. etc.

I know that if I limit fertilization and I don't conceive I will forever regret my decision to do so. So we have decided to move forward with full fertilization, allow our clinic to designate which embryos are of cryopreservation quality, freeze all embryos created but not transferred in a separate catheter and, once our family is completed, we'll be donating our remaining cryopreserved embryos to Stanford's research center.

And for the first time since starting this process I am 100% at peace with our decision.

That is such a difficult decision to make. I am so glad that you feel at peace :-) To be honest (due in part, I believe, to the fact that we only had 5 embryos retrieved during the cycle that brought us V), the magnitude of deciding what to do with any embryos that wouldn't be transferred back didn't quite strike me until after I looked into my LO's eyes for the first time. When we go back to the RE for another fresh IVF cycle, the realization that any embryos that are created have the potential to become something as amazing as he is will heavily impact our decision regarding any embryos that we won't be using in hopes of completing our family.

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