i quit

CamJack mom · December 2011

I simply have too. I have been having some mild struggles, (nothing too major) but today and yesterday has put me over the edge. Every time it is time for DD to eat, I start sobbing uncontrollably. Whether I nurse, or pump, or even just give her a bottle of expressed milk, I begin crying and can't stop. Considering the fact that as of Tuesday, I will be home alone with baby and trying to deal with my 2 older children, I can't do it. I feel that I am so close to PPD and it seems to be completely tied to my nursing. I am only sad, overwhelmed and crying when feeding is involved (even if I have DH to feed her, I cry and sob). I hate to be ending this, but at this point I feel like it is the only answer. I am no good as a mommy to DD or my DSs if I am a sobbing mess every 2 hours. I go to the doctor tomorrow and will talk to the doc then, but with my tanking supply, the fact that I haven't nursed or pumped since 11am and I'm tired of crying, I think I've reached my limit.

**(

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · December 2011

I reached that point with ds at about 5 days pp. It was the best decision I could have made for us at the time. I was a crying, sobbing, irrational mess everytime it was time for him to eat. You have to do what is best for you and your family, and I totally get when other kids are involved that you and baby aren't the only ones you can think about.

skyfarm15 · December 2011

I feel so bad for you as I have been there with my son and know how hard it is. I too, was a wreck with bf to a point that I had to stop. Once I took that pressure off, we were like a new family (after a few days). I still wanted him to have some bm, so I continued to pump a measly 2-4 oz a day for 6 months. You have to do what is best for you & your family. Bf is hard. GL in whatever you decide.

kcl22 · December 2011

While you're at the doctor you may want to mention how you feel and be "screened" so to speak for PPD/PPA. Even if it's only when feeding is involved, it sounds like you're having a bit of an extreme reaction. Either way; you have to do what is right for you and your family. If formula feeding is going to make you happy and a better mother, then that's the best thing for you! GL

kat81again2 · December 2011

I think if you go to kellymom.com there is something there about having depressive feelings every time there is "let down" during feeding. So that could be what you're having, and weaning would fix it. GL!

CLLDLL · December 2011

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My sister has a two week old DS, and she quit BF about four days ago for almost the exact same reasons as you. It was so awful to watch her to through it. I did a ton of research and found several articles that mentioned finding a link in some women between BFin and PPA/PPD.

In my sister's case, her Dr. prescribed Zoloft, which never did help. Within two days after quitting breastfeeding she was 99% better. She is still seeing a counselor to work through her feelings of guilt for quitting though.

You have to do what is best for your family, and in your case it sounds to me like a happy mommy is MUCH more important that a BF infant. And look at it this way, at least your LO got meconium. That's a huge benefit in itself. Good luck to you! Hope you feel better soon!

WeWearCombatBoots · December 2011

I think its great that you even tried! So many mother's won't even do that. You did all that you could, and there is no shame in it. Do what is best for your LO. Formula isn't poison and you gave her a good start. Congrats on making it as far as you have!

maddiemoon43 · December 2011

I just wanted to wish you good luck and the best moving forward...and I wanted to thank the PPs for such supportive replies. OP, I hope you're able to find some relief, and better enjoy your time with your family.

gabriella78 · December 2011

This sound like what you're having and it's a link from kellymom.com. Good luck.

https://www.d-mer.org/

ETA: What your experiencing is real and treatable. Hope you get to feeling better.

CamJack mom · December 2011

Thanks for the supportive replies ladies, it really is appreciated.I swear that once i made the decision I immediately started feeling better. I definitely think this is the right decision for me.

CamJack mom · December 2011

gabriella78:
This sound like what you're having and it's a link from kellymom.com. Good luck.
https://www.d-mer.org/
ETA: What your experiencing is real and treatable. Hope you get to feeling better.

Thanks for this great information, but the feelings don't last for a few minutes, I find myself a mess for almost an hour around every feeding time and the feeling comes whether I nurse, pump or give already expressed milk. However, I will bring this up with my doctor today.

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