Infertility
Tiffany0614
member
Me 30/DH 31 Married in June 2003. TTC since 2008. M/c in Nov. 2008. D/x: DOR and MFI 5 cycles of IUI in 2010. IVF #1 in Nov. 2011. ER 11/22. ET 11/25. BFN.
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Can I vent? - IF/adoption related (long)
Tiffany0614
member
in Infertility
I haven't been on the boards a lot since our BFN. We decided we would try acupuncture and go that route a while because we can't afford another IVF right now. Last week we got a call about three siblings to foster - 6, 2 and 1. We said yes right away and were told that although rights hadn't been terminated yet, they most likely would. We've had the kids since last Tuesday. Our house had completely changed, setting up a playroom and bedrooms. I've organized daycare and we had to buy a bigger car. Then today happened. I was feeling decent because their worker told us the people who were also interested in the kids most likely wouldn't be approved. And bio mom is a train wreck. But then I talked to their guardian ad litem today (who I know personally and interned for in law school). She felt that both other alternatives would be ok. I think it's very likely they'll be removed and placed with their grandparents after the hearing tomorrow. We knew this was a possibility. But I am so devastated. I know I need to be patient and positive but I've felt from the beginning these kids wouldn't stay with us. There are moments where I wish life would be "normal" again but I love them and don't want to give them up. I just feel like I'll never be a mom, through adoption or biologically. I'm sorry this isn't really IF related directly. But it's been such a rough day.
Me 30/DH 31 Married in June 2003. TTC since 2008. M/c in Nov. 2008. D/x: DOR and MFI 5 cycles of IUI in 2010. IVF #1 in Nov. 2011. ER 11/22. ET 11/25. BFN.
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Re: Can I vent? - IF/adoption related (long)
Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!
Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
me 33/DH 36
ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
You have every right to vent. I'm sorry that you and the kids are going through this. Things never seem to make sense in "the system."
DH and I currently have 3 kids (7, 3, 2) placed with us. We've had them for a year. Prior to their placement with us, they were with a different foster family for 7 months. The oldest child also spent two years (4 different families) in the system before the younger kids were born. The State has decided that the parents' rights need to be terminated sooner than later. Therefore, the social worker started contacting the kids' relatives to see if anyone would become their guardians or adopt them. She didn't think anyone would step up. Well, she was wrong. Three different relatives are interested, with two of them being suitable. It sounds like they will probably split the kids between those two different relatives. It never ceases to amaze me that relatives won't step forward to take "temporary placement" but are willing to adopt later. Of course, the bio mom is pregnant again and due in April. No, life is definitely not fair.
I'm so sorry you are feeling so blue! I was a foster care social worker for years (first as a case worker for the children, then writing foster/adoption home studies), and I have seen all kinds of challenging situations. The situations that included an estimated TPR/ adoption goal, only to turn into kinship at the last minute are especially heartbreaking for the foster families. The TPR process can take years (it shouldn't, but I've seen it) and it is a very difficult road for all involved. So much can happen.
Is it possible to contact your agency for some emotional support and guidance? When I was writing home studies, I did extensive counseling with my families (especially the families interested in adoption). I was also on hand to provide support and encouragement during the difficult stages, including the weeks before reunification/ placement with relatives or after an unexpected court outcome. Your agency has a responsibility to support you, as you are their client too. Perhaps the worker can link you with another family that can share some insight and encouragement? Or, if you ever want to PM me, feel free
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12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
Baby boy Henry born 2015.
Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
SIGH...big hugs. You poor sweetheart. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. You are an amazing person for opening up your home to those little ones. I am hoping that they decide not to turn the children over and they stay in your loving home where they will get the most care and unconditional love.
Good luck to you. I will be sending you positive energy for a great outcome.
Take care