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Every month I write the story...

pillowasspillowass member
in TTC after 35

...of my BFP. For instance, this month my story will be "We were so bummed to have to skip treatment a month (b/c of high estrogen at baseline), but wouldn't you know it, I ovulated over Christmas break, when we happened to be in Mexico. We were drinking and violating all of the TTC dietary rules, and that was the month I got my BFP, the old fashioned way!" Also, Christmas would have been our son's 3rd birthday, so I might really believe in magic if my story came true.

Anyone else torture themselves in this manner?

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TTC #2 since July 2010
FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days

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Re: Every month I write the story...

  • Country Girl in the CityCountry Girl in the City
    Yep, every single month.  I also make grand plans on how we are going to tell everyone.  I don't think that it is a bad thing.  I would much rather stay positive and think every month that this may be the month than loosing all hope and being depressed.  With that being said, I do get depressed on CD-1.
    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Roxie5739Roxie5739 member
    Oh yes... sadly! I work out that if I get a BFP this month, the month that I would deliver and what other important things happen around that date. I work out dates I would tell people etc etc etc. I think we need to do this to manage our own expectations and emotions. It is tough, but our own method of therapy

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


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  • gundy21gundy21 member
    Yup.  Every month I figure out what I can / can't do based on EDD.  I can now go to a cousin's wedding in DC in May, will hopfully be able to sail some next summer (maybe not race, tho), and I can still make my goal of a BFP by my 39th b-day in May.  Already figured out how to tell everyone.  I O'ed on Christmas - will say that Santa left one more gift that we didn't get to open right away...we'll see if I get to stick with the story next week or if I have to write a new one.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
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  • areverearevere

    I do it, too. Every month, I fantasize about writing a BFP post here. I don't know if it means I'm twisted and warped by IF. Or if it's a good thing to still have hope. I don't care. I can't help it, anyway.

    I hope I actually get to use one of those dream posts soon. And that you do too.

    Hug for you.

    Me = 38, Husband = 31. TTC since 1/10. M/C at 8 wks 5/10. Started trying again 9/10. All tests normal: AMH/MIS, FSH, HSG, SA. Estradoil high. 6/20/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#1=BFN. 7/17/11 - Clomid+IUI#2=BFN. 2 natural cycles = BFN. 10/6/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#3=BFN. 10/31/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#4 = BFN. 11/26/11 - Follistim+Ovidrel+IUI#5 = BFN. IVF#1 - Menopur+Follistim. 2 ET 5/11/12 = BFN.
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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    Yep.....I figure out when my DD would be each month.  I usually also want to know when first tri is up-so I can tell the world (but would NEVER announce on Facebook.). Have been very negative about all thing TTC since my c/p.  Would def share Beta results here-but I no longer trust pee sticks (although I'm addicted to using them-LOL)
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member

    Me too.  I daydream about how I'd tell DH, family, and friends.  Someday, it'll happen...

     

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  • LlamamamaLlamamama member

    imageCountry Girl in the City:
    Yep, every single month.  I also make grand plans on how we are going to tell everyone.  I don't think that it is a bad thing.  I would much rather stay positive and think every month that this may be the month than loosing all hope and being depressed.  With that being said, I do get depressed on CD-1.

    EXACTLY this!  I also look ahead to see when my EDD will be as well as when I will be halfway and get to have my anatomy ultrasound.  THEN I figure out when my b-day falls within all that so I can ask for gift cards to places like Gymboree and Babies R Us.   It's TERRIBLE!

    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
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  • winidpuwinidpu
    I do it every month...never fails. Given my numbers and the fact we've been trying for two years now you would think I would learn. A girlcan dream!
    TTC #1 since 2/10 Me 38 FSH 12.9 & AMH 0.16 DH 47, low sperm count due to meds. 07/11 We have sperm! 28 million, 70% motility, morphology 1% normal. 08/14/11 1st IUI unmedicated BFN. 09/11/11 2nd IUI w/ Femara + trigger BFN 10/14/11 trigger & Final IUI 10/16/11 BFN 10/21/11 Started acupuncture and loving it! 01/21 ET one embryo 6 cell grade C. Beta 02/02. BFN. Taking a much needed break. image
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    I honestly don't. I guess that says I really don't think it will ever happen. Maybe having your story is a good thing, you know? It means you have hope and you need that to keep trying.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • MelleTXMelleTX member

    OK, I can do you one better. Every month on the day of my IUI, I would record a short video message on my iPhone to the "baby". And every month I deleted it without ever viewing it. 

    Yes, I will probably make them to document IVF too.

    I'm a dork. 

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
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  • tfkre8ivetfkre8ive member
    image10-4LilBuddy:

    Me too.  I daydream about how I'd tell DH, family, and friends.  Someday, it'll happen...

     

    This is me exactly. I'm glad you all do similar things and it's not just me.
    Baby #1 due 2/10/14!
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  • Country Girl in the CityCountry Girl in the City
    imageMelleTX:

    OK, I can do you one better. Every month on the day of my IUI, I would record a short video message on my iPhone to the "baby". And every month I deleted it without ever viewing it. 

    Yes, I will probably make them to document IVF too.

    I'm a dork. 

    The therapist in my office actully recommended that I do something similar.  I just can't bring myself to do that yet.  Good for you.  When you get pregnant, you will treasure that video.

    BFP on IVF #2 6/29/2012. Beta #1 7/3 = 522; Beta #2 = 1180; Beta #3 = 6491 image BabyFruit Ticker
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  • MAtoNCMAtoNC member

    OMG. I totally do this. This month, I think about how the timing would not be optimal for work, and I mentally rehearse how I would tell my boss about the pregnancy. And I think about the summer travel I already have planned, and I wonder if my peri will let me travel early in the 3rd tri. Why do I torture myself like this?

     

    Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
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  • BAKERMOMHDSBAKERMOMHDS member

    Yep, every month.  And after 3 + years of TTC ( Feb 2012 will be the 4 year mark) I've made up some really good *stories*.  But now, It's really, really hard for me to see the future with a little one. My acupuncturist told me I need a positive affirmation such as "I can have a happy and healthy pregnancy", and say that to myself once a day.  I can't bring myself to do that yet.... Reading thebump boards, helps.  After a good 45 min browsing the boards, I don't feel crazy, psycho, out of mind... I feel normal, and realize..almost everyone with this struggle experiences the same crazy thoughts I do.

    IVF starts 1/4/2012....I'm looking forward to a new chapter.

    Me = 39 DH = 50 TTC (since 01/2009 after a short break, I stopped counting *cycles* in 2010)
    DX 2010 : Unknown Infertility , AMA
    HSG 2005 = Normal / HSG 2010 = Normal
    SA 2005 = Normal / SA 2010 /2012 = Slightly low count : motility, morphology GREAT!
    Chromosomal analysis, MTHFR, ANA's, Lupus, Protein C, Protein S, APCR = Normal 2011

    M/C : 2005 (7wk), 2010 (6wk), 2011 (7wk)

    8 IUI's 2010-2011 all BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist 01/2012 #1 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI antagonist long 06/2012 #2 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF New Clinic/New RE 11/2012 #3 = One beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    IVF/ICSI/CGH MDLF 02/2013 #4 = One more beautiful boy blasty frozen PGS normal

    FET 6/20 : One 5AA PGS normal transferred Beta 1 6/28 = 53.9 / Beta 2 7/1 = 220 / Beta 3 7/3 = 550!

    1 U/S  6w3d - Heartbeat 119 /  2 U/S - 7w5d- Heartbeat 169 / 3 U/S (OB) 8w5d - Heartbeat still great!

    Baby G welcomed into the world 3/7/2014

    SAIF / PAIF always welcome ****

     

    image

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  • XV11StarXV11Star member
    Oh yeah, I am right there with ya writing the story(ies).  And since I am booked for work 6-12 weeks out, I always think "I will be pregnant then..." as I write in the schedule.  I am curious what our "real" stories will be!!  :)
    <a href="http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u17/SossityG/?action=view
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  • MelleTXMelleTX member
    I also have a spreadsheet on my computer which tracks all milestones. I just enter the date of my LMP. I recently updated it to add in my IVF calendar as well.
    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
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