I'm so full of questions today.
My DH (soon to be XH), myself, and DD had plans to go to TX from MN for his cousins wedding in a few weeks. His whole side of the family- parents, brothers and their wives, all their kids, etc. are all caravanning down there.
Since things have been rocky, and getting much rockier (Christmas was a disaster) and I have kicked out not-so-DH, I have decided DD and I won't be going to TX. Now, DH's family is throwing a huge fit, and saying I'm keeping DD away from them (they are planning on taking a granddaughters pic with other grandkids in TX, and my baby will be the only one not in it). I trust my in-laws, BUT I can't stand the thought of my DD being across the country from me with my soon-to-be Ex Inlaws and husband for 4 days.
Am I not letting her go for valid reasons? She's barely 1.. I can't stand to be without my baby for that long...
Re: baby with the inlaws?
I might be the unpopular opinion but unless you have a legit court document stating that you are the custodial parent - I wouldn't trust my STB ex-H to take my child out of state or anywhere for that matter. When is the wedding? Since you just kicked your H out, maybe it's time you quickly file a separation agreement stating with whom the child lives with primarily and outline the visitation the dad is going to have. If custody is established befoer the wedding, I probably wouldn't be so nervous about it. But that's the first thing that jumps out at me.
ETA: I don't think you are overreacting & if in your position I wouldn't let my baby go either. But def get that custody agreement, who knows what he is capable of. People can get crazy with divorces.
Unfortunately, I think you're right. There's no way it's not going to go down ugly considering how Christmas went... UGH what a mess If anyone has any more helpful advice, please share. All support/advice concerning this topic is welcome. Advice from my family is very biased and sometimes has me second-guessing what is right vs. what is selfish.
I know it sounds crazy but I think you should force a smile on your face and go to the wedding. That way, your baby stays with you. ALSO, it shows your in-laws that you are being accomodating and letting them spend time with your daughter, so if there is a messy custody battle, you have that on your side already.
I can't imagine being in this situation. I am not the biggest fan of my in-laws, and we were supposed to go visit FOR THE DAY after Christmas. I had a legit reason (my brother was in town), but it killed me that my hubby took the baby with him, and they live only 2 hours away-- not even close to out of state. Good luck! Keep us posted on what you decide.
Stay strong, mama. You've got some tough days ahead. Lots of hugs, t & p.
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