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January 2012 Moms
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Frustrated with the In-laws

morgy_beemorgy_bee member
in January 2012 Moms
Every time we go visit the in-laws, they make sure to tell us that we need to have the baby either early or late. Then ask if the doctor still thinks it will be the same due date. The reason for this is because they have prior engagements the weekend that we will be having the baby. It wouldn't be that big of a deal, but this is their first grandchild and they want to go out of town to make some extra cash.... It just annoys me how selfish it is and it really hurts my DH's feelings that they aren't being more supportive. I mean, I don't think they have to drop everything to be there when the baby is born, but don't hassle us every time we go over there. AND, what are the chances that the baby will actually come on the EDD?? It's just frustrating/annoying and I don't really know how to address it. Should I just leave it alone? 
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Re: Frustrated with the In-laws

  • michnthecitymichnthecity
    Tell them to call your doctor and see what he/she says.  Tell them that the world doesn't revolve around their schedule, and that the baby's health takes priority right now.  That should shut them up.
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  • CircleInTheSeaCircleInTheSea
    First pregnancies usually go into the 41 week range.  Also, if it's THAT important to your IL's that they come see the baby first thing, it's up to them to make it happen.  Next time they bring it up, just smile and remind them that babies come when they will come and if they really want to be there, it's up to them to make it over.  YOUR plans are to do X (whatever you're planning) when the baby comes, and that they are happily invited at THEIR earliest convenience (if that works with your plans....).  It is not your responsibility to accommodate your IL's.
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  • AugustSkyeAugustSkye member

    FIL's work schedule requires that he work one week, and take off the next. My due date happens to fall on the week that he doesn't have to work, so he's really excited. When I mention anything about the baby making an early appearance, he says "No! She needs to stay in there until the 13th!" Haha!

    Anyway, your in-laws don't HAVE to be there when the baby is born if these "other obligations" are getting in the way of the birth of their grandchild. Plus, there's nothing you can do to control it so there's absolutely no reason for them to be pestering you about it!

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  • SoonToBeMsPSoonToBeMsP member

    Self centered much? If being there for the birth is that important, you wouldn't care when it happened! 

    My cousin is getting married two states away the weekend before I am due. My mom is waffling on whether to go to the wedding or not, because she wants to be around for the birth. (I've of course told her to go, since I'll probably be late as a FTM.) But she has NEVER brought it back to me and told me I need to be late so she can do x, y or z. Maybe because this is her fourth grandchild?

    DD 1.18.2012
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  • DH75DH75

    I would just leave it alone or make the comment that the little one will come when it is ready and there is not much you can do about it.  It's for the health of the baby that it comes when its ready or if the doctor decides for some reason its time.

    Though I must admit, it would take everything in me right now not to tell them to put a cork in it too.  But I would just try and ignore it to not create issues. The baby willl get here when it gets here.

     Good luck and just concentrate on that wonderful little miracle.

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  • trackchik6trackchik6 member
    I wouldn't have anything to say except, "the baby will get here when it gets here and I have no control of it.  I'll keep you posted when I go into labor."
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  • Dasie515Dasie515

    Good Luck..if this is how they are now it might continue thru your LOs life so you might want to start to prepare yourself.

     MY FIL told me when I got pregnant he was not happy I decided to get pregnant when I would have to deliver in hunting season and if he had to miss a day of hunting due to the birth he would not be happy. (I'm so not kidding) I just told DH to talk to him as it is not up to me when the baby comes out. Well, after she was born he told me I "better not" have any birthday party's on Saturday's because he wanted to hunt...well we just had my daughters 3rd party this past October..on a saturday. It works for everyone but him and I'm at the point where I know he is selfish and I just don't care. :-)

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  • ames243567ames243567 member
    I would schedule an induction if possible out of spite... just kidding!!  But, that is crazy like you can control it!!
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  • sweetky_06sweetky_06 member

    Everyone gets to make their choices about what they want to do with their time. We can't expect people to put their schedules on hold because we are going to have a baby, and other people can't possibly expect that we will induce or someone "keep that baby in there" because it's convenient for them.

    It's time for your DH to tell his parents that they baby will come when it is ready to come or a medical professional deems it necessary for everyone's health and well-being. They need to stop pestering you because there is no other point to them bringing it up because there is nothing you can do about it. 

    Married 08.06
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    DH: perfect
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    2 IVFs, 2 FETs = 1 BFN, 1 c/p, 1 ectopic and finally a sticky BFP in May 2011!

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  • morgy_beemorgy_bee member
    I'm not really angry...it's just annoying that they bring it up every time. I am going to take the advice to tell them that baby will come when baby is ready and that they can be there or not. Thanks
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  • A S-skiA S-ski member

    If it were me, I would see if my Dr. would induce me during the time frame that they could not be there.  I'm just a biitch like that though.

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  • pcrock92pcrock92 member
    My EDD is the 9th and my best friend is going out of town for new years tomorrow and not coming back until the 4th. She keeps saying "make sure he stays in there until I get back!" I just laugh and say we'll see, but it does kind of get annoying! IMO if people were that worried about being in the hospital with me wen I have the baby, or seeing him right away, they wouldn't be going out of town or making all these other plans. I'm not saying they should drop everything from their schedules to make sure they're there, but its annoying that I know she'll complain about it if he comes when she's gone.
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