Family Vaca 3-4 Weeks After Baby is Born?

Toni79 · December 2011

Hi ladies,

I'm due July 24, 2012. For the past 6 months my mom has been trying to plan a family vacation to celebrate my dad's 70th birthday in August 2012. About 15 of us total. We are 99% sure we are going renting a big house in the Outer Banks, but we are just finilizing the date.

Here is where I need your opinions. Obviously I know my due date is just an estimate and in realility its give or take a week (or two), hopefully no more!

Anyway, my mom is looking at either the week of August 12 (my baby will be about 3 weeks old) or August 19 (my baby would be about 4 weeks old).

Is this do-able? Or am I crazy for even considering being 7 hours away from home when my baby is that young?!?!?!

All my neices and nephews have to go back to school Aug 28th, so we can't go any later. Another option is to go earlier in the year. Maybe sometime in June or early July. Even early July makes me nervious. If I want to convince them to go earlier, I have to let them know ASAP! My mom wants to make the reservations. Plus I'm concerned because the prices in June are nealry twice as much as they are in August. So it's going to be hard to convince them.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

ccam · December 2011

I personally would not make that commitment. You won't even be 100% 3-4 weeks after giving birth, never mind having a brand new baby. I would maybe do early June but even early July is cutting it close - what if you go early? Would your family ever think about holding it off even later and doing it over one of your niece's and nephew's breaks from school?

kelnyc · December 2011

I wouldn't do it either. What if you're a week late (which is entrely possible)? If they can't do it in early summer, then I would just respectfully not attend. I think they would undertsand and your baby, health, and sanity are most important.

sweetky_06 · December 2011

I have had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy but started feeling like crap and completely worn down at about 32/33 weeks, so I wouldn't commit to going on vacation in June or July.

I wouldn't want the pressure on me of "we only have 3 weeks (or what ever it is) to get this baby thing down before we need to travel!" It's a tough decision to make, but your family should hopefully recognize that this isn't just committing to dinner or a one day event. You might feel great at that point, or your baby might still be only sleeping for 60 minutes at a time and spend 45 minutes eating every 2 hours. I'm not sure that it would be remotely possible for you our your DH to actually enjoy yourself on a vacation at that point - and you'd feel bad for bothering everyone else in the house with baby crying, etc.

mystic_J · December 2011

I would say that this is not doable. My SIL traveled 4 hours from home 6 weeks after she gave birth to her second daughter. She was miserable- too sick to go out on the beach, and basically house confined tending to the baby the whole time. It was equally miserable for everyone else staying in the house. Of course, we were glad to see the baby for the first time, but the whole vacation was dampened by having to adhere to the newborn's schedule and be quiet 95% of the time. It just was a hot mess, and looking back, my SIL regretted pushing herself into going, and that was at 6 weeks.

My advice would be to pass if it has to be August.

stei8086 · December 2011

Who knows what I would say then, but now (11 weeks and due around the same time). I'd say go for it! You might need a vacay by then. I love the beach more than anything and would love to financially be able to go on a trip. The houses in Outer Banks are big enough that you won;t have trouble getting a newborn to sleep. Plus, your family will be there to help you out and give you a little break from the baby. It seems like the toughest part may be the drive. This is just my opinion and of course I might change my mind come summer time.

DeputiesWife · December 2011

ccam:
I personally would not make that commitment. You won't even be 100% 3-4 weeks after giving birth, never mind having a brand new baby. I would maybe do early June but even early July is cutting it close - what if you go early? Would your family ever think about holding it off even later and doing it over one of your niece's and nephew's breaks from school?

This.

We traveled for 2 weeks to our hometown over Christmas when DD was 8 weeks and I struggled. I was tired, still a little sore, and out of my element. Granted I did have help. But 3 to 4 weeks -- I probably wouldnt go.

ELF4321 · December 2011

I wouldn't plan to do this for several reasons:

A) You'll be exhausted and won't want to travel.

You have no idea when baby will come or how difficult those first few weeks could be, esp if you end up with a c-section and are recovering from surgery in addition to trying to deal with a newborn.

C) Your baby will not have much immunity at that point and exposing him/her in such close quarters with so many family, esp. the kids, could be dangerous (especially if all of the adults and kids are not fully up to date on immunizations for things like chicken pox, whooping cough, and other diseases that are fairly common and don't always show symptoms during the early stages when they are very infectious).

DrRx · December 2011

I would personally not go. DH's family get a house in the OBX or further south NC every year or every other year. We have made the drive from FL every time, but this year we will not be able to attend. They are going to do it late August/early September, and even though LO will be 3-4 months old, we told them that we won't be able to make the commitment.

1.) We would have to drive 10 to 12 hours. I would have to be pumping in the car every 4 or 6 hours by then, along with feeding the baby, etc. The ride up would be miserable. Then I'm going to have to pump while I'm up there. And have to bring all my crap. And all of baby's crap. (And I use the term crap with affection:)

2.) That young I don't want to take my baby out on the beach and have them exposed to the sun/sand/heat, etc. One of us would always have to be taking care of the baby and would pretty much be confined to the house. And, everyone would have to listen to the baby crying, etc. Also, DH's other brothers have small children (will be 1 and 3 year olds) and I just don't want my LO exposed to germs they may have.

3.) We are first-time parents and we won't know how it actually is until we experience it. We don't want to have the stress of traveling when we're still figuring out how to be parents!

Those are our reasons, but I can't even imagine doing that when our baby is 3 or 4 weeks old! However, I understand how important family reunions are, and if possible we always try to attend. It is hard to coordinate so many people's schedules but I do find it important.

GL with whatever you decide!

Yellow_Daisy · December 2011

As someone who had to travel with the family for 2 days when DS was 3 weeks old, I would say don't do it! My DH was gone and I had post birth complications so I had to go with my family to their vacation house for help and it was really hard on me and DS. DH got home early and actually came and got us to take us home because it was that hard.

Also I delivered 2 weeks late. I had a completely uncomplicated pregnancy, everyone including my doc thought I would deliver early b/c of DS's size, but I surprised them all and had to have a c/s at 42 weeks because he never even dropped.

Early in my pregnancy I would have committed to this because I was naive and my pregnancy was sooooo easy. I was stupid, I can admit that now. The end is hard! The first few weeks are a gazillion times harder! Having a baby is fabulous, but it's so much harder than I could have ever imagined and I have a super easy laid back baby.

JM1977 · December 2011

I wouldn't do it. The physical and emotional recovery from delivery was much more intense than I anticipated. At 3-4 weeks, I will still taking it hour by hour a lot of the time just trying to figure out the baby's patterns, breastfeeding, etc. It was overwhelming at times and just took a lot of emotional energy. At 4 weeks, we did make a day trip 2 hours away to see some close friends, and that was too much. It took us all several days to recover.

I hope this doesn't seem too negative! The first weeks with our baby were truly magical for us but also demanding in ways I hadn't expected. I think it's good to keep things as uncomplicated as possible during that time.

Wish you the best!

SunMoon&Stars · December 2011

I wouldn't commit to this, especially so early in your pregnancy. It's too soon to know if you'll have complications with pregnancy , labor and/or delivery, or when you'll deliver. Then there are the issues of not knowing how the baby will adapt, PPD, BFing, etc.

I had to travel to visit my dying MIL when DD was four weeks old, and it was TOUGH. And that was after a complication-free pregnancy and vaginal delivery of a baby who's relatively easy and is FF (milk never came in so I don't BF), no PPD. I was lucky it wasnt a lot harder.

llizzyb · December 2011

There's no way I would do that. You never know if you'll go late, or have a difficult delivery, or a c-section, and so on.

That being said, we're planning on flying to Florida with family when baby boy is about 3.5 to 4 months old and renting a condo or house. Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I feel like this is going to be doable, esp. since I will have family help.

WhiteGarden · December 2011

Personally, I would also decline. I do not want additional stress during that first month of being a new mom. Besides the potential for a c-section, there is also dealing with figuring out breastfeeding, learning what your new baby wants, letting him get comfortable in your own home. We live in NC, and my brother wants to come visit us after the baby is born and go to the beach for a DAY... (driving back and forth)... and I keep trying to gently tell him it's not gonna happen unless he waits until the baby is at least a few months old.

I've also stayed in big houses in the OBX before, and they are nice, but no matter what, you are at the beach, so you are dealing with sand, heat, bugs, and all kinds of things that simply come with being near the ocean in the summer. Having other kids in the house won't help that.

Also, to give you a little perspective on traveling during your pregnancy... I have had a wonderful pregnancy so far, but I'm only at 27 weeks and am really dealing with some back pain. We traveled to Savannah (5 hr drive one-way) last month and I barely made the drive home. That's not going to happen again until after the baby comes. We also went to a late-night movie last week, and my back was killing me during the 2 hours I had to sit in the theater (the pain gets worse at night). That also won't happen again for me until after baby gets here -- we even skipped our usual midnight Christmas Eve service because I knew my back wouldn't handle it. You may not have this issue, but then again, you might, or you might have actual pregnancy complications, and being away from your own bed and home is going to be a lot more difficult than you realize.

I'm not trying to be a debbie-downer... just practical. I was really, really optimistic at the beginning of my pregnancy, and I still am, but reality does set in at a certain point...

Toni79 · December 2011

Thanks Ladies for all your positive feedback! It seems like concencious is not to travel so soon after giving birth. It's funny because I also posted this on the Sucess After IF board to get advise from moms, and there the "vote" was 50/50.

My mom really wants everyone to go - we haven't taken a family vacation in over 20 years. This is a one time thing, so it's not like I can say oh maybe nest time.

But it's just so early in my pregnancy that I'm really not sure how I'm going to feel.

Another option that I am going to talk to my mom about is going as soon as the kids are out of school in June. I think their last day is June 12th, so the earliest we could go is the week of June 17. That is about 5 weeks before my due date. DH seems to think I'll be slightly less miserable 5 weeks before the baby comes than I would be 4 weeks after giving birth! Plus I'll only have to worry about being pregnant and not having to worry about caring for a baby just yet. Assuming I don't go into labor early!!!!!

Not sure if I can convince them to hold off until Thanksgiving or Christmas break?!?!?

llizzyb · December 2011

Toni79:

But it's just so early in my pregnancy that I'm really not sure how I'm going to feel.

Another option that I am going to talk to my mom about is going as soon as the kids are out of school in June. I think their last day is June 12th, so the earliest we could go is the week of June 17. That is about 5 weeks before my due date. DH seems to think I'll be slightly less miserable 5 weeks before the baby comes than I would be 4 weeks after giving birth! Plus I'll only have to worry about being pregnant and not having to worry about caring for a baby just yet. Assuming I don't go into labor early!!!!!

Not sure if I can convince them to hold off until Thanksgiving or Christmas break?!?!?

Ugh, not to be a continual Debbie downer...but my doc told me no traveling more than 50 miles away from the hospital at 24 weeks. I had a perfect pregnancy up until then, and then literally one day developed preterm labor symptoms and irritable uterus issues out of the blue. I would hate for you to plan something and then not be able to go. We canceled Christmas travel, a baby moon, and some January trips. Have you asked your doctor his/her opinion on these two options?? Good luck to you.

mandalinn25 · December 2011

llizzyb:
Toni79:

But it's just so early in my pregnancy that I'm really not sure how I'm going to feel.

Another option that I am going to talk to my mom about is going as soon as the kids are out of school in June. I think their last day is June 12th, so the earliest we could go is the week of June 17. That is about 5 weeks before my due date. DH seems to think I'll be slightly less miserable 5 weeks before the baby comes than I would be 4 weeks after giving birth! Plus I'll only have to worry about being pregnant and not having to worry about caring for a baby just yet. Assuming I don't go into labor early!!!!!

Not sure if I can convince them to hold off until Thanksgiving or Christmas break?!?!?
Ugh, not to be a continual Debbie downer...but my doc told me no traveling more than 50 miles away from the hospital at 24 weeks. I had a perfect pregnancy up until then, and then literally one day developed preterm labor symptoms and irritable uterus issues out of the blue. I would hate for you to plan something and then not be able to go. We canceled Christmas travel, a baby moon, and some January trips. Have you asked your doctor his/her opinion on these two options?? Good luck to you.

Not only that but some insurances won't cover you if you travel that far from home that late in your pregnancy. I would decline altogether. I know it stinks. But the baby's and your health need to be number one.

psubride1012 · December 2011

If it were me, I would just tell them to plan it for when they want to have it and would not commit to being there. I would say that I had to wait and see how I felt and if I can make it, great, if not, then they just need to understand. Or if they are adamant that you have to be there, then they need to plan it for some other time when you are comfortable about committing.

I know that your mom "wants everyone to be there", but I think it's pretty ridiculous that she is going to expect you to travel after just giving birth.

Want a personalized experience?

Family Vaca 3-4 Weeks After Baby is Born?

Re: Family Vaca 3-4 Weeks After Baby is Born?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards