seeing pregnant friends

lrichmond86 · December 2011

I'm about to leave to see one of our closest friends who is pregnant. They found out they were pregnant just a few weeks after week did and our due dates were only 5 weeks apart. We did all of the pregnancy things together... maternity shopping, baby shopping, prenatal yoga... I'm SO nervous to see her! I'm worried that when I see her it will be painful and that I'll react negatively. I don't want her to feel like she did anything wrong, because she didn't. I'm still very happy for them and look forward to meeting their little girl, but a part of me is a little jealous that she gets to keep what I had taken from me. I feel awful for feeling this way about such a good, supportive friend. Ugh. Just venting a little.

Petunia844 · December 2011

I completely understand, I had one of my best friends who was pregnant with me, as well as my sister and my sister in law. I took yoga with my sister and my friend, went shopping with them, have photos of all of us pregnant...now they have their babies and I don't. It was very hard to see them and their babies the first time, it still is now, but the firsts were worse. I just told them that if they want to see me, they may have to see me cry. I told them it wasn't their fault, but it was probably going to happen. When it did they cried with me. It gets a little easier every time, but it still hurts very much to see them with their babies. I hope it goes ok for you.

Kissimi21 · December 2011

I understand how you fee. My oldest friend and I were due 2 days apart. We were going to do everything together, made plans for our mat-leave together, talked everyday about our babies. Then I lost mine and she went on to have a beautiful little boy. It was so hard to be happy for her when I was so miserable. Every step she went through reminded me of what I was missing out on. I told her that I love her and her baby, but that there would be moments when I would cry.

Just let your friend know in advance that you are happy for her, you can't wait to meet her baby, but that your heart is still broken because of your loss and that you might cry. A good friend will be mourning your baby's loss with you and understand. I know it's hard, but it will get a little easier overr time.

Carolee · December 2011

I felt everything you're describing about one of my dear friends. She and I were due 6 months apart and it was hard to see her because I was so jealous. I felt (and still feel) like a horrible friend because I feel like I couldn't be there for her when she was pg and I can't be there for her now with her baby. (((HUGS)))

LuckEinLuv · December 2011

I have a very close friend who is due exactly 2 weeks after I was. She just found out it is a girl and I am sort of relieved because I won't compare her daughter to Andrew as much as I probably would if it was a boy. She is very supportive and understands that it is hard for me to see her, but I force myself because of how great a friend she has been to me. I am sure your friend will understand if you get emotional.

krysiahamaty · December 2011

It's completely normal how you feel. Good luck and big hugs. If you need to step away at any point, do not feel guilty.

[Deleted User] · December 2011

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magdalina.h · December 2011

Hopefully she is the type of friend that if you break down, she'll understand why. I found it was best to be honest with my pregnant friends. If I needed to cry they let me, if I avoided them on some days, they understood.

lrichmond86 · December 2011

Thank you, ladies! Lunch with my friend was easier than I thought that it would be. It still made me sad to see her cute pregnant belly, especially she is just about the same week I was when I was put on bed rest. But she really is a good friend and was very understanding of my feelings. She didn't bring baby Gary up until I did, but was very willing to talk about him once I did. DH and I are so lucky to have the supportive friends that we do. Unfortunately, she won't be the last pregnant lady that I see... we have TEN pregnant friends right now... but I feel like a made a good start. Overall, not a terrible day.

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