I need to vent

Tiffany5412 · December 2011

Remember a while back I asked for dust for my sister who was being accussed by her ex of stealing from the company so that my sister would take the fall for the tax fraud her ex committed? I may not have gone into detail for legal reasons but basically, my sister was arrested on felony charges for something she didn't do. My family spent over $30k on a good attorney to prove she was innocent so that it never had to go to court and luckily she was a pack rat and kept receipts and after months of our family spending hundreds of hours compiling receipts and matching them to accusations we had enough proof to have our attorney take it to the District Attorney who presented it to the Grand Jury and they threw out all charges based on our proof so it never luckily had to even go to trial.

Now the part I'm most pissed about is that my childhood best friend worked there. There were only about 5 people that worked for the whole company and my sister got her the job. She's always been arrogant and stubborn and a little psycho but we felt she meant well and had a good heart. My family essentially adopted her. She called my mom "mom" and my dad "Daddy Jo". She spent holidays with us and went on family vacation with us once to visit relatives. She was upset with my sister for some stupid work thing and when all of this happened took my sister's ex's side (remember, it's company of 5 people - all women) and because it was a legal issue we couldn't tell her about any of the proof we had that my sister was innocent. She called my father crying saying she didn't want to be in the middle of this and didn't mean any harm. I spoke to her with as little info as I could but couldn't really say anything because of the legal thing and it got no where. My family felt betrayed because she could have helped the situation but instead made it word because every time she vented about my family being mad at her my sister's ex would push forward even further on the legal stuff. Again, my sister is 100% innocent (her ex has also sued her own mother AND her own sibling in the past - psycho).

I am just so hurt by this friend. She says she didn't want to be in the middle yet clearly took the ex's side - who literally lobbies before congress so she can be very convincing but still! It's her pseudo family here! Fast forward to last week I get a xmas card in the mail stating "I love you no matter what". About 2 months ago I got an email stating "though I stand by my convictions, I still love and miss your family". Then this morning my sister calls me crying. She lives in my mom's house (mom lives with her new husband) and my sister received a card at the house addressed only to my mom stating something along the same lines about her missing and loving our family. Not addressed to my sister. I'm livid! She has never ONCE in the many years of friendship ever apologized for ANYTHING. She was too stubborn for this. But this time it WAS personal. I always kept their bitching about each other at work separate from our friendship but it became personal when my sister was ARRESTED for something she didn't do and she made things worse - not better.

I threw the card away and was going to ignore it but now I'm angry. How passive aggressive! I sent her a text (sadly still have her # memorized) stating it was passive aggressive and I'd appreciate it if she'd leave my family alone. She responded stating she didn't have any ill feelings toward my sister and thought my sister was living in Austin and didn't mean any harm toward it. She's coming to Austin this weekend and wants to meet and talk. Part of me wants to so I can beat her upside the head and ask her why she is still standing beside this psycho. The other part of me wants to just ignore it and move foward - she's always been selfish and stubborn and selfcentered so why even bother? BLAH. Anyway, sorry for the long rant. I don't know if I'm looking for feedback or what. I just needed to get that out.

FireChiefsBride · December 2011

I'm so sorry, that's a sucky situation.

If you can, walk away and don't meet with her. You know nothing good will come of it- you won't change her mind. Maybe make plans with your sister instead?

agran · December 2011

I'm sorry too super sucky situation. But you know it won't end until none of you have contact with any of them-- she is just trying to keep the drama going. You will all heal faster if you don't keep ripping the scab off the wound.

SareBear30 · December 2011

That sucks all around. I'm sorry you and your family are having to deal with all of that. As for meeting with her, would it make you feel better to be able to tell her how you feel and how her actions affected you and your family?

She may not "get" it, but you may feel better getting it out. Particularly if she is going to continue to make efforts to be involved with you family otherwise. It might help to repair the situation (because maybe she will start to see what she did and be remorseful) or she might be so offended by what you have to say that she leaves y'all alone. Win win. But you may feel better ignoring her. Only you know what you would feel comfortable with. Either way, big hug!

MnMShaw · December 2011

I am probably the wrong person to ask because I tend to hold grudges on people that do me wrong. But my opinion is that after what happened with your sister, I would just move on. It is more than just some silly work tiff, someone went to jail and her life could have been ruined because of this and I would have a hard time forgiving the friend for what my sister went through.

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