Vegetables and SS

HisChamaoleGirl · December 2011

SS doesn't have to eat vegetables or fruit in his mothers home. No this isn't just a 7yo excuse to avoid either bc DH and i have both heard BM say this. Her reasoning is "he takes a multi vitamin so he doesn't need fruits or veggies."

So what are your methods on handling this issue? I understand that DH is the one who ultimately has to enforce it but I am looking for suggestions. Currently SS and DH are sitting at the kitchen table and SS isn't to leave the table until he is finished. It's been an hour.... And here I am sipping on a glass of wine ....

karatechrissy · December 2011

My husband is 25 years old, and will not touch vegetables. I have a magic bullet blender. Know what I do? I steam/cook/whatever my vegetable of choice, then throw it in the magic bullet. I then put the basically water vegetable in whatever we are eating. Speghetti sauce is a good One. Usually do broccoli in it. I add stuff to smoothies in the morning, a small hand full of baby spinach and no one is the wiser. . My H has no idea. It isn't worth the fight. Just start hiding the vegetables like that, or by chopping them so small he can't see them. I have a chopper from pampered chef that makes it so much easier to mince things super ting and it takes a few seconds. There are some books out that give you good foods to hide veggies in for kids. I don't know the names of the top of my head but you could do a quick google search. It's a lot easier to make kids eat what you want them to eat without them realizing and having this dinner stand off. I don't have time for it.

FriskyPanda · December 2011

I have a dinner chart for DD. If she eats dinner she gets a sticker, once she has 5 stickers then she gets treasure box which is aping box filled with trinkets I've picked up. Nothing was more than a dollar. If she eats something for dinner that she's never had before she gets a sticker and an automatic treasure box. It's worked really well so far, and she has been eating broccoli without much coaxing.

cmanmom · December 2011

Those books are by Jessica Seinfield, Jerry Seinfield's wife and they are called Deceptively Delicious.

Interesting that you started this because I got the book for Christmas and made up two muffin tins full of various veggie puree's ready to go. They are stocked in the freezer!

fellesferie · December 2011

My kids are both good eaters, and they request fruits and vegetables for snacks and at dinner. DD's afternoon snack yesterday was a bowl of peas.

I primarily offer kid friendly choices that are easy for them to eat--steamed broccoli, corn, peas, green beans, sauteed asparagus, etc. I don't use heavy sauces vegetables. Usually just a little Kosher salt and half a tablespoon of butter. Also, when we have something like shepherd's pie or fried rice, I go pretty heavy on vegetables.

We require DS (who is 7 next month) to try 2 bites of everything. If he doesn't like it after that, he doesn't have to finish it. He's only allowed dessert or snacks after a meal if he eats everything on his plate, however. We've never had a standoff at the table. There have been times when he doesn't want to eat something, and he protests, but two bites is two bites. I can't think of any occasion when he flat out refused. There have been plenty of times when he won't finish something, so he's just not allowed to have anything else to eat until the next meal time.

In your shoes, I would try to find something (anything!) he likes and cater to that a bit while offering new things. If he'll eat applesauce, then offer that for a couple days, then see if he'll eat a couple bites of banana or try a grape.

J&A2008 · December 2011

What is he not eating?

Power struggles over food are a mixed bag, if you ask me. Now you've associated veggies or whatever with something very unpleasant. Ideally, you want them to find the foods good and for them to want to eat them.

Kids and fruit seem to go better together than kids and veggies. Have him shop with you and help pick out some fruits. Then start with a little taste of fruit here and there.

I'd set your goals small. One slice of apple. Give it at the beginning of the meal, before any other food. When he eats it, give him the rest of his dinner. Better yet, give it to him while he's sitting watching tv or something before the meal has even started. Breakfast is a great time for introducing fruits, too, since they're hungrier.

Littlejen22 · December 2011

I think as a SM it is easy to focus on things that you cannot control and think that they are things that you would be able to control if the kid lived with you. I can promise you that there are some people that do not like vegetables or fruit and even if they were your kid you would not be able to somehow make them eat what you want. I hate most veggies and there are only a few I will eat and even at that I will not eat them all the time. And FWIW I am not overweight. I love fruit and don't eat nearly enough. I think the worst thing a parent can do is force a kid to eat something they hate, it will create eating issues for life. The best thing you can do is enforce a rule that a kid has to have one bite of something but they don't have to finish it and keep changing up what you offer both with different veggies and with different ways to cook the same veggies. And offer fruits for a snack or dessert but same thing, offer different kids until you find what he will like even if it is only 1 or 2 kinds.

I know that I don't stress over my kids not eating many veggies, they don't like them right now and honestly, they do take vitamins. I know vitamins are not as good as eating the right foods but it is better than creating food issues and a fight as long as you keep trying to expose them to new things. And my kids eat more variety of foods than most kids I know.

FutureMrsWittig · December 2011

karatechrissy:
My husband is 25 years old, and will not touch vegetables. I have a magic bullet blender. Know what I do? I steam/cook/whatever my vegetable of choice, then throw it in the magic bullet. I then put the basically water vegetable in whatever we are eating. Speghetti sauce is a good One. Usually do broccoli in it. I add stuff to smoothies in the morning, a small hand full of baby spinach and no one is the wiser. . My H has no idea. It isn't worth the fight. Just start hiding the vegetables like that, or by chopping them so small he can't see them. I have a chopper from pampered chef that makes it so much easier to mince things super ting and it takes a few seconds. There are some books out that give you good foods to hide veggies in for kids. I don't know the names of the top of my head but you could do a quick google search. It's a lot easier to make kids eat what you want them to eat without them realizing and having this dinner stand off. I don't have time for it.

My H either. I do this too, and it's awesome. I can even make chocolate zuchinni cake. Throw some cream cheese frosting on the top and call it birthday cake. So devious.

Ilumine · December 2011

I am not a fan of hiding foods. All that does is create adult picky eaters, who you have to continue to hide food for.

Here is what I did with SS (and my greatest accomplishment).

1) I offer three portions with each meal - a main course (usually the meat), a veggie and a starch.

2) At least one of the three portions is something the child likes. The new food is well, new.

3) I ensure that the serving sizes are SMALLER than age appropriate sizes (grown ups are quick to serve up their sized portions and then expect the kids to see this ginormous mound and then EAT it).

I basically go with three age appropriate sized bites per portion. Three cuts of of meat, three veggies, three spoon fulls of rice/pasta/potato.

The whole point is that they cannot get full on eating all 9 bites.

4) The kids are expected to eat all 9 bites (again, these are extra small bites). Once they eat all 9 bites, only three bites are things that are new/they may not 100% love, they may have seconds of whatever they want.

5) They may not eat anything else if they do not eat their 9 bites. That includes making their own meals...that just leads to kids only eating PB&Js. They will not starve to death if they do not eat a meal.

6) I do allow a large glass of milk RIGHT before bed if they did not eat dinner. If they have totally empty tummies, they are more apt to wake up in the middle of the night complaining. I like my sleep.

7) ***** When we go out to eat, they are allowed to choose ANYTHING on the menue (under $12), but they have to eat 9 bites worth AND they cannot choose something they have had before.

SS LOVED #7. He tried tons of foods becuase he could.

karleegirl · December 2011

I think you're starting a battle no one is going to win. 1st of all forcing them to finish the food starts bad food habits. I would go with 1 or 2 bites of the food. I also will allow ds to dip his veggies in a little bit of low fat ranch dressing or put a little bit of shredded cheese on things. Fruit we will do a yogurt dip. Now I don't have to do those things and he will eat those things. I don't know how much visitation y'all will have now that you are in the states but I hate for food battles to take over the visit. I know your intentions are good.

Jessys_Girl · December 2011

karatechrissy:
My husband is 25 years old, and will not touch vegetables. I have a magic bullet blender. Know what I do? I steam/cook/whatever my vegetable of choice, then throw it in the magic bullet. I then put the basically water vegetable in whatever we are eating. Speghetti sauce is a good One. Usually do broccoli in it. I add stuff to smoothies in the morning, a small hand full of baby spinach and no one is the wiser. . My H has no idea. It isn't worth the fight. Just start hiding the vegetables like that, or by chopping them so small he can't see them. I have a chopper from pampered chef that makes it so much easier to mince things super ting and it takes a few seconds. There are some books out that give you good foods to hide veggies in for kids. I don't know the names of the top of my head but you could do a quick google search. It's a lot easier to make kids eat what you want them to eat without them realizing and having this dinner stand off. I don't have time for it.

This 100%.

I steam and blend carrots to add to mac and cheese. The cheese sauce hides the orange of the carrots. I also chop up brocoli REALLY fine and put it in there too, the cheese sauce mostly hides it, but when it doesn't I just tell the kids that I used some herbs/spices to make it tastier.

I also do things like sweet potatoe fries. They LOVE french fries, and this is a much more "vegetable"-y option than plain fries.

I bake squash with butter and brown sugar on it (to make it sweet) and I serve it as dessert, so the kids THINK it's a special treat.

I also put ver thin slices of eggplant in my lasagna.

juliettodd · December 2011

karatechrissy:
My husband is 25 years old, and will not touch vegetables. I have a magic bullet blender. Know what I do? I steam/cook/whatever my vegetable of choice, then throw it in the magic bullet. I then put the basically water vegetable in whatever we are eating. Speghetti sauce is a good One. Usually do broccoli in it. I add stuff to smoothies in the morning, a small hand full of baby spinach and no one is the wiser. . My H has no idea. It isn't worth the fight. Just start hiding the vegetables like that, or by chopping them so small he can't see them. I have a chopper from pampered chef that makes it so much easier to mince things super ting and it takes a few seconds. There are some books out that give you good foods to hide veggies in for kids. I don't know the names of the top of my head but you could do a quick google search. It's a lot easier to make kids eat what you want them to eat without them realizing and having this dinner stand off. I don't have time for it.

Absolutely genius - I love this idea!

+j+k+ · December 2011

karatechrissy:
My husband is 25 years old, and will not touch vegetables. I have a magic bullet blender. Know what I do? I steam/cook/whatever my vegetable of choice, then throw it in the magic bullet. I then put the basically water vegetable in whatever we are eating. Speghetti sauce is a good One. Usually do broccoli in it. I add stuff to smoothies in the morning, a small hand full of baby spinach and no one is the wiser. . My H has no idea. It isn't worth the fight. Just start hiding the vegetables like that, or by chopping them so small he can't see them. I have a chopper from pampered chef that makes it so much easier to mince things super ting and it takes a few seconds. There are some books out that give you good foods to hide veggies in for kids. I don't know the names of the top of my head but you could do a quick google search. It's a lot easier to make kids eat what you want them to eat without them realizing and having this dinner stand off. I don't have time for it.

This is hilarious. I love it. Thankfully my family eats well and likes many healthy foods, but I'll keep this in mind if it changes for DD.

I don't think you are going to be able to make BM change her ways. Give up on that right now. All you can do is try the tricks that people suggested here when you have SS and do your best when you have him in your home. When he's older, you might find that he will ask his mother for healthier foods and more likely to get them then. Be thankful too for healthier school lunch programs as well.

Ginlyn0 · December 2011

We have a rule that if it's something new, you must take at least 1 bite to see if you like it so you just don't go off of looks. Other than that, we cook one meal for everyone. If someone doesn't want to eat it, they skip that meal. We only have one picky eater in my family and it's my oldest SS so he is the only one who skips meals. He is random about his pickyness as well. Sometimes he will claim he hates spaghetti and won't eat it, the next time we have it, he eats it. So it's a toss up on what he will and won't eat at any particular meal.

I won't make anyone eat anything. I am not a big meat eater. I ate all my veggies as a kid and my mom used to make me sit for hours at the table trying to make me eat my meat. I would eat a few bites but that wasn't enough for her. My brother would finally come in and sneak bites from me so I could get up after he finished the dishes. I still don't eat a lot of meat (I'm not a vegetarian either.) I won't subject my kids to that kind of turture.

soontobemomma · December 2011

You guys haven't seen SS in months and your DH is going to duke it out over him eating vegetables? You can't undo months/years of his time with his mom in a day/meal.

Enjoy your time with your ss, it is Christmas.

Think of ways to make it fun, "no thank you bites"(he tries one bite before he says no thank you.) Sweet potato fries, applesauce.

HisChamaoleGirl · December 2011

soontobemomma:
You guys haven't seen SS in months and your DH is going to duke it out over him eating vegetables? You can't undo months/years of his time with his mom in a day/meal.
Enjoy your time with your ss, it is Christmas.
Think of ways to make it fun, "no thank you bites"(he tries one bite before he says no thank you.) Sweet potato fries, applesauce.

This issue seems to be off an on. It seems our longer visits are easier but the shorter ones SS tests his boundaries with DH. And I dont just mean with eating Habits. DH appears to have let the vegetable war die for now.

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