Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Miscarriage
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
I'm sorry. We had two miscarriages before the babies, so yes!
best of luck!
I'm sorry for your loss
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I'm so so sorry for your loss.
My first pregnancy, I found out I lost the baby at 12 weeks. 3 months later we went on to get pregnant with Gwen. Miscarriages are horrible, and I wish no one had to go through them.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
IUI #2 (100 mg clomid and HCG trigger) - BFN
IUI #3 (Gonal-f and HCG trigger) - BFN
IVF #1 - 21 retrieved, 20 mature, 15 fertilized (ICSI), 2 d5 blasts transferred, 8 frozen - c/p
FET #1 - BFFN
FET #2 - BFN? c/p? Either way no baby
FET #3 - No shock...BFN
FET #4 - BFN :-(
Surgery and TTC cancelled - pursuing surrogacy
7/31/12 Surrogate got a +HPT!!!!
I am so sorry for your loss.
I had 2 miscarriages when I was younger and was later able to carry our daughter.
So sorry to hear that. MC's are actually very common. My wife and I did 6 IUI's (3 on our own and 3 assisted w/fertility drugs.) During those 6 cycles, I had 2 MC's. One on our very 1st IUI at 7wks (4 days before last Christmas) and then on the 4th cycle - very early. It is unfortunately very common. Most women do not even know that they are MC'ing because they do not know they are pregnant. Now with us same sex parents, we are very purposefully trying to get pg. So we know what is happening every single day of each cycle.
Don't give up hope. After the 6 IUI cycles, we kicked it into a much higher gear and went straight to IVF... which in our case, was successful. Anything is possible. I'm 41 and I produced 11 eggs which yielded 6 perfect embryos! My #'s blew the fertility docs away. ANYTHING is possible girl. Let yourself heal physically and emotionally from this MC and try again. *hugs*
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
Thanks for the T & P... yes it was the first successful IUI.
Me too... I was looking at your sig and wondered why you have chosen unmedicated. I have gone back and forth, but next cycle I will try clomid. Even if that increases my chances at all, I have to try. Good luck to you!
Thanks much and congrats on your success.
I am healthy, under 35, have no known fertility problems and had no indications that I have any (I did eventually get blood tests to check hormone levels and while slightly irregular, they were not too far away from normal). I know that many women under those circumstances do still medicate given the increased odds (therefore fewer cycles/vials to pay for). I guess I just tend to lean more toward low intervention/low meds as a general life philosophy, and I figured I'd try to make this as "natural' as possible. I'm not crazy about dealing with side effects and I'm a little scared of the prospect of multiples!
Which is not to say that I haven't second-guessed myself along the way! Hence the blood tests, which I pushed for after 2 IUIs. The midwives I go to for IUIs recommended Clomid (based on the test results) for my 4th cycle if the 3rd didn't work; when it didn't, we went to a consult with an RE to see what kind of second opinion we would get. She basically said, "you're healthy, it's totally normal not to be pregnant after 3 cycles, probably everything is fine and I see no reason why you shouldn't continue what you're doing"...but she also said she'd set up more blood tests, an ultrasound and an HSG for this cycle just to make sure. If the test results are good, I will do a 4th unmedicated cycle the same month. If they are not, I will go with whatever treatment they suggest. If #4 doesn't work, I may go on Clomid starting with #5 regardless.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
yes. just wrote about it in the other post abt telling the SO about m/c. it was horrid. I did it the natural way too-chinese herbs and no D&C. If there is a next time I would get a D&C. AND I too had a successful, natural and amazing pregnancy and birth with baby girl 3 started trying months after m/c and took 3 more tries with fresh 'known' sperm.