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Husband at shower?

citymama2012citymama2012 member
in Baby Showers
My mother is throwing my shower and has said numerous times that she'd really like for my husband to be there the whole time. The shower will be all women and while my husband likes to be involved in baby stuff, I'm not sure he'd be that comfortable at a ladies luncheon.  How can I politely tell my mom that he would prefer to just come at the end to join us for cake or something?  Or should we just suck it up and have him there the whole time?
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Re: Husband at shower?

  • kellymiller409kellymiller409
    I would think it would make you DH uncomfortable. Just tell your mom that since it's an all women's luncheon and not a couple's shower that he won't be going at all. That's what I would do at least.
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  • lullinglulling member

    I would just ask him what he wants and then report that to your mother.  As in, "Sure, he would love to." or "Nope, he is not coming."  End of story.  

    My husband came at the end of the shower (with my father and his father.)  They ate some food, said hello to everyone and then loaded all of the gifts in the car.  They can be quite useful at the end! 

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  • dojo1dojo1 member

    Tell her your guests might not feel comfortable with him their the entire time. 


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  • SVAQ11SVAQ11 member
    Yeah, my DH only agreed to come to my shower because many of the men that were invited were coming. If there were no other guys there he was going to just come at the end.
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  • acbeemanacbeeman

    I personally would say have him come at the end at say hello and have him load everything in the car for you. It makes your mom happy because he came, and it helps you both out so you dont need to load everything in the car yourselves.

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  • MelleTXMelleTX member
    As a shower guest, I kind of find it awkward when the husband is around. Like he is intruding on sacred girl time. I would have him come at the end. It's also the signal that the shower is wrapping up. 
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  • Stellar1Stellar1
    If it is just girls, then I wouldn't see the need for him to be there the whole time. Maybe he can come near the beginning or end to say hello and thank you to everyone.
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  • AlliebooberzAlliebooberz member
    My husband will be at both of my showers with me. 
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  • MichelleWest85MichelleWest85
    My husband was at my "all girl" bridal shower and I will expect him to also be at my baby shower.  That is how we do it around where I live with the mindset of we were both getting married, and are both having a baby.  It was not just MY wedding, it was OURS.  Yeah, he was sort of uncomfortable at first, he is fairly shy, however once we got to eating, socializing, and gift opening he got in the groove and I think he liked the special feeling that goes along with it.
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  • HappyToBe2012HappyToBe2012 member

    DH stayed for most of my first shower (my family).  He and host's husband had to go pick up some stuff at Home Depot so they left right after we arrived, then hung out with the women when they got back.  No one thought it was weird since it's his baby too.  Actually, I think he wanted to be there.  :)  For my second shower (his family) though, DH literally grabbed his brother and ran away (too many people for him to handle).

    It all depends on what you and your husband are comfortable with.

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member

    I didn't read the other replies but I have witnessed men at showers (that were not co-ed) and they certainly did look uncomfortable for the most part.  I'd say that almost all the DH's came at the end (to help pack up stuff).  Some came and got something to eat while MTB finished opening gifts and a few actually helped open gifts...or was there watching.  I think I would tell your mom that he would be uncomfortable being in a room-full of just women and will come at the end during gift-opening time.  That way, while you finish opening gifts he can grab something to eat.  Maybe that will make her happy.  Does she have something special planned just for him?  Maybe that is why she is insisting.

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  • NJbaby2012NJbaby2012 member

    Give him the option. My hubbie always does the opposite when I think for him lol.

     Why don't the boys schedule something in the morning together to hang out? Like your dads and him or whatever.

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  • Jessica1232Jessica1232 member

    I am just having one big shower with both my family and DH's family in attendance.  He will be attending.  He also attended our wedding shower. 

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  • greenluckiesgreenluckies
    At first my husband didn't want to be at our shower, but I told him it was his baby too and, in return, that would make it his shower too. He didn't say anything for a while after that so I assumed I was having an all female shower until he came home from work and said his coworkers (truck driving men) wanted to come with their wives. Now, we're having a coed shower of close family and friends. Nothing crazy with the guests like having that one cousin you only talk to during the holidays over.
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  • Linz-ELinz-E member
    I would ask your husband what he wants do and tell your mom either way leaving no room for conversation. My DH was at mine and didnt feel uncomfortable at all- but thats the kind of person he is. 
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