So I posted this as a joke...

neener3 · December 2011

on facebook. I read it and thought it was funny, in a "kill me slowly and get this baby out" kind of funny way.

Dear Womb Tenant
This is a reminder that your lease expires on the 4th of January. Usually I would be flexible and allow up to and additional 14 days, but over the last few weeks you have become a terrible tenant.

1. You have done serious damage to the structure of the entire building of the course of your tenancy. The exterior will need months of repairs and it's doubtful it will ever be in the condition it was before you took up residence, not to mention the damage that will be done to the exit when you leave.

2. The state of the plumbing in the building is horrendous. We have had major blockages as of late and for the last two months we have had leaking in the basement.

3. You also appear to be continuously adjusting the thermostat, swinging wildly from hot to cold.

4. For the last week you have been keeping the landlord up all night with your partying. If I didn't know any better I would assume that there were several people living in there based on the constant dance party you seem to be engaged in.

5. Because of your presence, we can not have alcohol on the premises. We also can't have pain killers, enjoy certain foods and have had to discontinue use of the hot tub. As the landlord I was under the impression that this would last 40 weeks, but you don't seem to be prepared to leave on your move out date.

In addition to the above stated, you seem to have taken over the area usually reserved for other uses- in fact you appear to have 2/3rds of the structure exclusively for your enjoyment. Over the past month you have attempted to move out several times only to return back to your residence, causing serious inconveniences for your landlord. Currently, you appear to have settled back in comfortably with no intention of leaving.

I have spoken with the authorities and you will be forcibly removed if you choose not to leave on your own. I would hate for things to come to this- you have been a good tenant until recently and the authorities are known to have little respect for the building when they are force to go in after anyone who overstay their lease.

I would appreciate it kindly if you would evacuate the premises on or before the 4th as we originally agreed. I have even taken the time to set up alternate living arrangements for you with two personal assistants, as well as maid and chef services. Let's end this arrangement on the best terms possible. You will not be getting back your damage deposit.

Signed, The Landlord

My mother-in-law posted "Good luck with that." to which I replied "Good luck with what, an induction if he doesn't come by the 4th? Because one will be scheduled as per my doctor."

And she posted "He will come when he is ready."

I want to scratch her face off. She is the one who has been bragging about her scheduled c-sections this whole pregnancy, making fun of me when I say I'm going to try to go as far without the epi, and saying "Just hold out for a section, it's so much easier."

It was a joke lady. Annnndddd....limited profile it is.

sweetky_06 · December 2011

I love it!

And your MILs replies are exactly why I am thankful my MIL is not on Facebook. It is also the reason I delete half of my own mother's responses to my posts.

fyrefairie · December 2011

I posted a letter on FB awhile back that someone here shared addressed to all nonpregnat people...talking about things like the stage of my cervix is nunya and the only people who can call it "my baby" are the parents...holy hell my inlaws (not MIl and FIL, but DH's aunts, cousins etc) went beserko-calling my MIL, lecturing me on how their family handles babies yadda yadda....so guess who won't be invited to see LO for many weeks PP-all of them. As for your MIL, I guess her comments could be construed as supportive in intent if not for all her scheduled C sections...I've stopped sharing anything PG related on FB that isn't shiny happy excitement because its just not worth it. My aunt called my Mom suggesting I should be on meds because I had one whiny rant on FB about feeling crummy, as my aunt saw it I "wasn't enjoying my pregnancy and clearly something must be wrong"....I'm thrilled to be PG I just don't enjoy getting punched in the cervix on an hourly basis

Penguinb83 · December 2011

Bwahahahaha! That post is just AWESOME!

Anytime I post anything about LO, my SO's Mom posts something about not believing that it is a girl and things like "We shall see..."

VERY annoying...

Kristine Schilling · December 2011

Can I steal it? My friends would die laughing!

theaterbahai · December 2011

Love it! I have been saying for months that when this kid comes out, she will owe nine months rent, that may be paid over the next 18 years in manual labor. ;-) LOL.

neener3 · December 2011

Kristine Schilling:
Can I steal it? My friends would die laughing!

Oh you can steal it, I stole it lol.

dizzycooks · December 2011

That is hillarious! Thanks for sharing! I found out DH added MIL to my FB account this weekend and I was not a happy camper...must check out limited viewing...

megaloo27 · December 2011

I just posted this on fb and my mom responded "hey don't talk to my Rachel like that" everybody else thought it was hilarious. I have many pregnant friends right now who can sympathize.

kaelasierra · December 2011

I love this! So funny, and exactly how I'm feeling. Too bad your MIL's sense of humor is damaged. lol

Dawn7233 · December 2011

Not gonna lie, I HAD to steal this! This is SO funny!!!! I'm sure I'll get the comments from my mother and other people saying "oh just wait" (*eye roll*) who cares... this is HILARIOUS!!!!