Parenting after 35

Stupid complaint

Over the summer, SIL gave us a needlepoint that she made for DS' room.  It is nice and I appreciate the hard work she put into it.  I didn't get around to hanging it up for quite some time though, and sure enough, after a visit by both MIL and SIL, there were inquiries to DH about the needlepoint.  I found that kind of annoying.  It's nice that you gave us a decorative gift, but I think it's up to me to decide if I am going to display it.  Nevertheless, I hung it up.

For DS' recent birthday, SIL gave us another picture, spelling out the meaning of DS' name by letter.  Again, I know it is meant to be a thoughtful gift.  But I have decorated DS' room how I want it, and the walls are pretty much accounted for.  I'm really not looking to hang anything else.  We don't have a playroom, or I'd put it in there.  I don't want to hang something just because there will be inquiries as to its whereabouts.   

I think you give decorative gifts at your own risk...you can't demand that they be displayed!    Vent over.

 
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Re: Stupid complaint

  • I have to agree with you. It would be nice if they inquired ahead of time to see if it is something you would like.
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  • I totally agree! I've received a couple things like that. I have no idea what to do with them.
    Lilypie - (vGZN)

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  • imageleffe1:
    I have to agree with you. It would be nice if they inquired ahead of time to see if it is something you would like.
    This. I'm sorry.
  • Sigh. I completely understand.  I don't normally like to one up people but I see your needlepoint and raise you 25 dream catchers. Between our wedding and the baby, DHs family have gifted us a plethora of hand made dream catchers. MIL asks about the gift from cousin so-and-so at random visits. 

    I seriously have no idea what to do with all of the handicrafts we are given.

    Also, since this is an anonymous profile I'm going to say that most of it is poorly done and I'm my opinion...just a bit tacky.  Mean and ungrateful...I know. 

    ~Married 11/08~
    ~TTC since 01/09~
    ~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
    ~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
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    Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
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    TTC#2 for a few months naturally (ha!)
    ~IUI#1, Clomid, Trigger,  10/13 - BFN
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  • imagestever:
    imageleffe1:
    I have to agree with you. It would be nice if they inquired ahead of time to see if it is something you would like.
    This. I'm sorry.

    I also agree. That?s the chance you take when you give a gift like that. You really have to know your audience when you give personalized/crafty gifts, and I say that as someone who likes to craft. I don?t give many crafted gifts.

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  • Okay..you might not like me anymore.  I'm on the other side of this debate.

    I have made really detailed, personalized cross-stitched baby and wedding samplers to give to close friends and immediate family.  It sometimes takes months for me to get one done.  I would be kind of upset if it wasn't used or valued just because it didn't go with the decor of the room.  It's like you didn't appreciate the time and effort and thought I put into doing something extra special for your child.  In fact, I made one for DH's brother and his now ex-wife when they had their first child.  Never got so much as a thank you card.  But they're idiots anyway.

    Now ugly dreamcatchers and macrame pot holders and other crap.. that's Goodwill fodder.   So I guess I do have standards.

    If you really hate it, I guess I'd just make sure when MIL/SIL visit, I get the stuff out of its box and stick it up somewhere.

     

     

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  • No worries, Bride!  I really do like the needlepoint and it looks ok on the wall.  The other thing I could do without...though again, if I could put it somewhere other than in his room, I would do that instead.   And I definitely appreciate a handmade gift... I LOVE two handmade knitted blankets that DS got when he was born.  But it's true...I am a bit picky about the decor in his room, and I'm hoping SIL doesn't keep giving me things to hang on the wall!

    I don't know what dreamcatchers are, so I guess we haven't gotten any!

     
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  • Thinking more about it... this is your MIL and SIL, not some random relative.  So I think there's that factor to consider in dealing with any kind of "homemade" decor item in order to keep the peace. 

    If they're infrequent visitors, that's good and you just trot the stuff out when they come over.  If they're over all the time, well, you're sqrewed.  HAHA!!

    Added.. .how about hanging it in the hallway outside of his room? 

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  • imageleffe1:
    It would be nice if they inquired ahead of time to see if it is something you would like.
    This is ideal, but of course it is almost never a case. Now no matter how much you dislike the gifts, like BBride said, you will have to find a way to make your SIL happy. Somehow let her know though that you are done with decorating your DS's room, so she stops making things in the future.
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  • imageBrideBuddies:

    Okay..you might not like me anymore.  I'm on the other side of this debate.

    I have made really detailed, personalized cross-stitched baby and wedding samplers to give to close friends and immediate family.  It sometimes takes months for me to get one done.  I would be kind of upset if it wasn't used or valued just because it didn't go with the decor of the room.  It's like you didn't appreciate the time and effort and thought I put into doing something extra special for your child.  In fact, I made one for DH's brother and his now ex-wife when they had their first child.  Never got so much as a thank you card.  But they're idiots anyway.

    Now ugly dreamcatchers and macrame pot holders and other crap.. that's Goodwill fodder.   So I guess I do have standards.

    If you really hate it, I guess I'd just make sure when MIL/SIL visit, I get the stuff out of its box and stick it up somewhere.

     

     

    I promise I don't hate you. :) in fact, I totally appreciate someone reminding me that time and effort was put into the gifts that I was given.  I just really believe that a person's personal style and needs should be considered when giving something for the home. Something they will look at every, single day. For.The.Rest.Of.My.Life. 

    All kidding aside, with me and my DH it is mostly a matter of space.  We don't have the space for Knicks-knacks in our home and we really don't have the space to store them. Neither one of us deal with or enjoy clutter of any kind. I've always maintained a rule that I don't buy something unless I know exactly where it will go before I get it home. Especially with the new baby.  In fact, we are really in a pickle because I was using what is now the nursery to house all of these items on shelves so they were 'displayed' a bit at least. Any suggestions on how I can keep the peace, not offend and still maintain the 'clean' look of my home are much appreciated.

    ~Married 11/08~
    ~TTC since 01/09~
    ~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
    ~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
    ~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
    ~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
    ~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
    ~BFN - 02/11~
    ~IUI #1 03/15/11~
    BFP 3/28/2011
    Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
    Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
    Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.

    TTC#2 for a few months naturally (ha!)
    ~IUI#1, Clomid, Trigger,  10/13 - BFN
    ~IUI#2, Femera, Ovidrel, 11/13




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  • Tell her you are collecting what you have to have someone sew them into a quilt. Or have it sewn into a little pillow.

    IMO, I would never expect a mom to put something in her LOs nursery without clearing it with her first. Someone gave me a beautiful wall quilt, however, she said, " I wanted it not to be girly".... Well, we have a very girly nursery, soooo, it's not hung up.

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  • I would just hang them up when you know they are coming over.  or as a pp said right outside the nursery door.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I totally agree with you. Closets are nice hanging spots, too :)
  • What about on the back of the door to the room? That way it's displayed but not really cluttering the walls. If anything is said after that regarding placement, just tell SIL that while you appreciate the effort and the items, you simply have no more room. If she wants to do any others, pillows would be a good alternative to wall hangings or that you would love to rotate the designs that you currently have hanging since you can't add more. Just a thought :)
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