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How do u move forward ( rainbow baby mentioned)

HeatherhahHeatherhah member
in Late Term and Child Loss

How do you move forward from your loss and maintain a sane mind while pregnant. I am currently TTC and I may or may not be pregnant and I am losing my mind hoping , worrying and stressing about it all and I won't even be testing until next week. I feel like a crazy person. I also feel terrible guilt about moving forward from our loss with Sydney. I feel like Sydney will feel like we are forgetting about her. I wanted to get pregnant asap and now that we are trying I feel so terrible about it. So am I totally crazy or am I just normal.

Heather

DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
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Re: How do u move forward ( rainbow baby mentioned)

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Totally normal. Remember, Sydney only knows love from you. She doesn't know the hurt of the world.
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  • erbarmywifeerbarmywife member
    It took me 6 months after the girls were born to be ready to TTC again.  It took another 3 months to actually get PG.  That being said, I still sometimes feel like the girls hate me.  I am incorporating them into this, though.  I love butterflies, because of the twins, and I want stuff with butterflies for this baby, since the girls ARE watching out for her.  I truly believe that the only reason I have made it into the 3rd tri is because Thia and Ella are watching out for Abby.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers Mother to Gavin, born September 11, 2007, and Magdalena, born March 21, 2009, Angel Baby MC February 13, 2010, Cynthia, born August 28, 2010 and gone September 17, 2010, Gabriella, born and gone August 28, 2010, and Abigayle, born March 12, 2012
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  • johnnys junejohnnys june member
    The "crazy person" feeling is normal.  I felt like that month after month (especially during the 2 week wait).  It is a very difficult journey.  I am now pregnant, and I won't lie, I have melt downs from time to time.  I have completely separated Logan and this baby though.  I am working through each day with the mindset that I love Logan and I love this baby.  All I can do is take it one day at time.  The PgAL board and this board help alot.  I'm able to find support, encouragement, and sometimes just vent for both my grief/loss and this pregnancy.  You'll find your little signs too that will tell you that your angel is watching over you and any future babies your carry.
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  • pottermommypottermommy member

    I think the key is inn the way you worded your title.  Moving forward.  You aren't moving on you are moving past it you are moving forward and you will be taking Sydney with you. 

    PGAL and TTCAL are two very very difficult places and they take alot of tears and emotions.  Everyday is a new one.  It is like a whirlwind..Or a rolercoaster.  The thing I have been trying to remind myself is that if Kamryn was here I would still want another baby.  I would want to grow my family. 

    And I would still love her just as much as I do today and would still love Gabriel just as much as I do today.  That being said the guilt is still there, as is the overwhelming fear....In fact at my appt tomorrow I am completely planning to be for an ultrasound just to set my mind at ease.....I plan on letting myself cry if need be...

    Just remeber that it isn't a betrayal to have another baby and it is ok to be scared.  TTCAL and PGAL boards all understand so feel free to hop over and talk or lurk if you wish, you will quickly see that we are all right there beside you.

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  • HeatherhahHeatherhah member

    Thank you ladies.

    @ pottermommy did you by any chance get my pm's I sent to you!!

    Heather

    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
    Report Reply
  • pottermommypottermommy member
    Let me check!
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  • pottermommypottermommy member
    You have mail!!!
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  • hewinkedhewinked
    All normal girl!  I cried and apologized to Adam the day I found out I was pregnant.  I was afraid he'd somehow be mad at me.  I don't know how I stay sane.  I thought I'd feel better when I got further along, but now that I need to buy stuff, pick a name, redo the nursery, etc., I'm getting anxious again.  I don't have any good advice on this, but you're not alone! 
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  • mrsmacias2008mrsmacias2008 member
    I wanted to be pregnant again but felt just like you are feeling. I felt so much guilt. But agree with Mags. My girl knew that I loved her from the moment I found out about her.
    MY FOUR ANGELS... M/C 12/26/02 AT 4 WEEKS M/C 12/31/07 AT 12 WEEKS, D & C M/C 12/5/08 AT 9 WEEKS, D & C ***BFP ON 3/26/09*** MARY REYNA BORN AND PASSED AWAY JULY 31ST, 2009 AT 23 WEEKS. GOODBYE SWEET BABY...I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER. ***AFTER 17 WEEKS ON BEDREST*** Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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