Toddlers: 24 Months+

So frustrated with potty training

Our DD is a little over 2.5years old and will be 3 in May.  We are having no success with potty training.  We tried for 3 days straight in Sept and again in Oct and she never really got it...mostly bc she's scared of the potty.  So we gave it a break and started again today, it seems like we are on the same track again.  She will hold it until she has to pee, then cry about wanting a diaper, then pee on the floor.  She does not like sitting on the potty at all to try.

We have a potty book we read and talk about how big girls use the potty all the time. She has a little potty and a potty seat for the regular toilet both that she picked out.  We've tried making it fun, offering prizes and treats but nothing.  She is physically ready too and will tell me when she's peeing or pooping in her diaper.

 I am so frustrated right now, and I'm not really sure what else to do.  I'd really like to train her before baby # 2 arrives in May and she needs to be trained before pre-school next year. 

Anyone have advice on a child who is very resistant to this?  It's really hard for me she's made all other transitions so well, like giving up the pacifier and sleeping in a bed.

Re: So frustrated with potty training

  • When we first started and DD was resistant to sitting on the potty, I would let her play with my iPhone if she sat on it until she went. It was the only time she got to play with it, so it seemed to motivate her and then she gradually got used to sutting on the potty without needing any distraction. Is there a special toy, game, etc. that you could get that she could only use when on the potty?
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  • I would just leave her in her panties.  You will have lots of accidents at first...but hopefully she learns that she doesn't like that.  Also, you can have her clean up the mess (pee off the floor). 
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  • She will sit for a few minutes sometimes if I give her M&Ms, my ipod or her leap pad, but it seems to be when the sensation to pee is that she stands up and refuses to sit back down.  Also how long do you do this during the day?  All day everyday until she gets it, or maybe just mornings to start?  DH was complaining this mornings that we can't go anywhere while he's home this week bc of this.  I told him tough, we need to try again and it's very hard to do it when I'm home alone during the days.  I think he's just hoping she will be magically potty trained :-)  How long do I try at this until I decide if it's time to back off for a bit?

    I think I'm going to make her help clean up the mess moving forward, thats a good idea.

  • Like pp said, just stick her in real panties and stick with it.  I know it stinks, but she will get it much, much sooner if you are consistent all day, every day until she gets it.  The first week will suck but after that it's awesome.  My DD has been trained since about 20 mos and it is awesome.  So much easier to no have to lug diapers around.  Since your DD clearly knows when she has to go, if she thinks she can manipulate you into putting  her back into diapers she will.  I would literally throw away all the diapers you've got in front of her and tell her "no more diapers, you're a big girl and use the potty now".

    One thing I read somewhere (although I never tried it) is for kids who are afraid of the potty, let them sit on your lap on the potty and go between your legs.  It sounds a bit insane but if it works, who cares?  Cleaning up the mess is good too (I have a very good friend who did this and it was the turning point for them, her DD didn't like having to clean it up so she started using the potty).  Good luck! 

  • Your DD sounds just like mine...I understand your frustrations. We have not even been as diligent in trying as you have because I just keep saying that she will get there when she's ready. We dont want to rush her, but I know she is capable of this. I think what we will end up doing within the next few months is just doing away with diapers and not looking back.   Good Luck !  
  • A week ago I was ready to rip my hair out with the potty training.  DD wanted no part of it, even though she was absolutely ready physically.  I had tried every reward to get her to sit on the potty with no luck.  Then my sister told me she gave my nephews a nickel everytime they went.  I decided to give it a try.  We even decorated a special "potty money" jar.  It worked like a charm.  It took a few days but now she is telling me everytime she has to pee.  She just loves to get that nickel!  She's only told me twice that she has to poop, but I'm not too worried about that as I know it usually takes longer for them to go poopy on the potty.  I think you have to find what motivateds your child...mine just happens to be a money hound!
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  • First of all, it sounds like DD is simply not emotionally ready for PTing, even though she might be physically ready. Many kids aren't ready by 3 years old. No doubt it'd be nice to have her trained before LO arrives, but it may not be worth the struggle. And pre-school is a ways away, so there's lots of time for her to be ready by then.

    We PT'd DS this past august when he was almost 3.5 years old. Like you, it was in preparation for preschool, and he simply wasn't ready or interested before then. But FWIW, it definitely took him more than 3 straight days for him to catch on. We were housebound and had many many accidents. It was frustrating, no doubt, but we stuck with it and he was 100% within 2 weeks. I'd suggest you keep going, but if DD is showing a fear of the potty, she just may not be ready. 

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  • I would drop it for now - its too much pressure.

    Talk about it all the time, make sure she sees you peeing and any other girls you can talk into letting her watch!  Grandmothers are great for this!  And just talk it up - alot!  Remind her that she can use the potty whenever she wants, etc.

    You could try putting a little potty in the living room/playroom too.  and, jsut reminding her its there if she wants to use it.

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  • Your daughter sounds exactly like my DD. Super frustrating, but we actually found something that seems to be working. The biggest, most important factor in her not being afraid to go on the potty chair now is that we lay one of her diapers on top of the potty chair so she goes right on the diaper. Obviously we'll have to slowly transition it off of the potty chair, but at least it gets her sitting on the potty chair and makes her not afraid of it anymore.

    We just keep the potty chair in the middle of the living room and have the diaper draped over it. We try not to hover around her when we know she has to go and basically just let her make it to the potty on her own. So far this is working for her so it might be worth a try!

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  • Thanks for all the ideas!  I'm going to try a few of them out and see what happens.  She's been watching me in the bathroom forever now and knows what it's all about we even cheer when Mommy goes the potty like a big girl, DH even gives me a treat so she can see :-) It's so frustrating that she wants to resist so much.  I'm going try the diaper trick, sitting with me on the potty and the money and see if any of them help out.
  • Thanks for the great ideas everyone! I have not been having much luck either with my daughter. Some days she will go and be super happy about it and other days wants nothing to do with it. So frustrating.
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  • Well we did get DD to pee today in the potty....after sitting on the floor next to her for over an hour.  We kept bringing toys over to entertain her and she kept getting up b.c she had to urge to pee. Finally she peed in the potty, she was scared at first but then she was happy after she did it.  We tried again later and she was scared again and threw a fit, we did eventually get her to sit on the potty and play with toys.  I have a feeling this is going to be a long process for us.  Also we tried the trick of putting the diaper in the potty it seemed to help a little bit and we started a money jar every time she sits she gets a penny, and then gets the "big money" when she pee's.  I hope after a few times it will be a lot easier for her.
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