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gotta do a DH vent

amajaneamajane member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

He's such a great dad. He basically took care of DD by himself all weekend while I took a quick jaunt to Seattle.

But when I get home the trash is overflowing, the dishes aren't done and the laundry stinks.

I seem to manage baby care and home care while he's not around, so why can't he do the same??

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Re: gotta do a DH vent

  • Heidi Lanigan-PotterHeidi Lanigan-Potter
    Probably because he's not used to it like you are, cut him some slack.
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  • la79alla79al member
    It's a guy thing.  I have not been separated from DD since she has been born and when DD kept her occupied for an hour last weekend so I could try to take a nap, he expected an award of some kind.  Silly men.
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  • babynorthripbabynorthrip
    Yeah, when my DH is alone with DS, like, for 2 hours on the weekend just while I sleep a little longer, the house is destroyed. I don't get it either.
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  • costfordscostfords

    Men don't multi-task.

    Have you ever seen a man do two things at once?  It's rare.

    I hope you enjoyed your weekend away!

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  • crazytmogirlcrazytmogirl
    My husband is home w/ our daughter while I work weekends and on Thursday night all of the house is pretty well in order... but on Sunday night, it's a disaster!  Part of the problem is that football and fantasy football really distract him.  LOL. 
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  • NewlywednOhioNewlywednOhio

    Is he or has he ever been a SAHD? If not, he is still learning. I think it's great that he took care of your DD for you all weekend...must be nice! I say instead of critizing him, praise him for trying.

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  • LoriFalceLoriFalce member
    Men can't multitask. It's some weird genetic thing. The only time they can do two things at the same time is if there is sports or porn involved.
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  • NewlywednOhioNewlywednOhio
    imageLoriFalce:
    Men can't multitask. It's some weird genetic thing. The only time they can do two things at the same time is if there is sports or porn involved.

    LMAO! VERY true!!
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  • Tess12Tess12 member
    I went away overnight last week and I braced myself for the house being a mess when I came home.  He and I just have different priorities. 
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  • femmeftle9femmeftle9 member
    It's the opposite for me, DH can get more done at home with the baby than I can Surprise But in my defense, DD tends to be whinier and fusses for me to hold her a little more.
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  • LoriFalceLoriFalce member

    imagefemmeftle9:
    It's the opposite for me, DH can get more done at home with the baby than I can Surprise But in my defense, DD tends to be whinier and fusses for me to hold her a little more.

    This is true. Matthew can get much more done in an evening when I have a meeting than I could if we were both home. Why? He has no problem putting Joseph in the PnP and going on about his business. He's in the same room, he can tell nothing is wrong with him, and if he cries, he cries. And eventually, he stops. I just can't work that way. I think moms are hardwired to have to respond.

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  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    Oh man, my DH knows that would be certain death!  That sux Angry  My best advice is to sit down calmly this weekend to tell him why you are frustrated and ask nicely why he is being a lazy cow.
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  • babygrovesbabygroves
    Because he's a man! Gotta leave him a note to check things off!!! That's my trick, works everytime. GL
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  • TXSweetheartTXSweetheart
    You got away for a whole weekend?!?!  No fare Crying  That sucks you came home to a messy house though...I hate going into the week with a messy house, it's like a rain cloud of chores hanging over me.
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  • jadylanejadylane

    same thing here! the house looks like a tornado blew through sometimes! they just aren't programmed like us!! we were meant for this stuff that's why we're the moms!

    some girls are saying "cut him some slack" wtf? why should we? I work my butt off going to work, taking care of the baby and still manage to keep the apartment neat, bills paid, manage the house, etc etc.

     he's a master of looking at the internet. HAHAHA

     

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  • ckolak:-)ckolak:-)
    I don't know why, I think it has something to do with the Y chromosome. My DH is a SAHD, but on the rare days when I am home from work (during the week) the house is a hell of a lot cleaner than any days that he is. Sorry your H was not very tidy!
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  • ckolak:-)ckolak:-)
    BTW, Marley has so much dark hair! DS still looks totally bald...
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  • 7/04Bride7/04Bride member
    You may want to choose not to bring it up with him because he did a really great thing by staying home for the weekend while you went away.  If you criticize the housekeeping part of his performance, he may choose not to perform at all - meaning no more weekends away for you.  I think it's because you have a lot more practice at juggling everything than you do.
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  • jenifairiesjenifairies
    imageLoriFalce:

    imagefemmeftle9:
    It's the opposite for me, DH can get more done at home with the baby than I can Surprise But in my defense, DD tends to be whinier and fusses for me to hold her a little more.

    This is true. Matthew can get much more done in an evening when I have a meeting than I could if we were both home. Why? He has no problem putting Joseph in the PnP and going on about his business. He's in the same room, he can tell nothing is wrong with him, and if he cries, he cries. And eventually, he stops. I just can't work that way. I think moms are hardwired to have to respond.

    Same here. My DH just goes on with what he's doing while she screeches and whines. I can't. It's physically painful to ignore her.

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  • Dressage99Dressage99

    Your lucky you even got out for a weekend!  If I even mentined leaving for a weekend, DH would loose it.

    But yes, Sundays he watches Caelen while I work. I get home and its a mess. But if I don't have dinner ready one day, he askes, well what were you doing all day. He doesn't get it!

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  • LoriFalceLoriFalce member
    Hmm. Good point. I love my husband, but I've only been apart from him twice since we got married. Both times he was in the hospital. I can't even count my hospital stay when Joseph was born because he stayed in the room with me until he was admitted for diabetic ketoacidosis and spent a week in ICU.
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