Hoping for advice. — The Bump
Military Families

Hoping for advice.

Over the last 18 months my ex and I had some hard times that caused me to leave. We have since fixed things and are getting back together. I am hoping to be at base with him by the end of Jan after he gets back from his holiday leave. The other night we had fun and I didnt realize it at the time but I was right in the middle of my fetile days and he, well you can guess the rest. What I am hoping to get some advice on is the fact that his family doesnt know we are getting back together yet and also the fact that he is going to be deployed come April. Im worried that even though we want kids and were trying before we had our problems and we would love to be pregnant if it happening now might make things worse and not better... Any advice on all this mess?

Re: Hoping for advice.

  • Don't put the cart before the horse and try not to stress too much before you can take a pregnancy test (or twelve).  

    In the future, don't have unprotected sex with someone if your past sucked, your present is shaky, and your future is questionable.  

    IF it turns out you are pregnant, schedule an appointment for counseling through Military One Source and ask your husband to go with you.  You two need to make sure you're on the same page about parenting, and in the shorter term, how to deal with pregnancy and deployment.  If you've never lurked on the pregnancy boards, I'll give you a spoiler and let you know there are constantly women posting in CAPSLOCK about how much their husbands suck and how emotional they're being.  I can only imagine the state their marriages would be in with limited communication.  You and your husband appear (appear) to have a strike against you because it seems you've struggled heavily in that department for quite some time, so extra consideration needs to go in to formulating game plans and communicating expectations.  If your husband refuses to go to counseling, please don't stick around.  It's a sign of what's to come.

    I hope this all works out for you. 

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
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  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Don't put the cart before the horse and try not to stress too much before you can take a pregnancy test (or twelve).  

    In the future, don't have unprotected sex with someone if your past sucked, your present is shaky, and your future is questionable.  

    IF it turns out you are pregnant, schedule an appointment for counseling through Military One Source and ask your husband to go with you.  You two need to make sure you're on the same page about parenting, and in the shorter term, how to deal with pregnancy and deployment.  If you've never lurked on the pregnancy boards, I'll give you a spoiler and let you know there are constantly women posting in CAPSLOCK about how much their husbands suck and how emotional they're being.  I can only imagine the state their marriages would be in with limited communication.  You and your husband appear (appear) to have a strike against you because it seems you've struggled heavily in that department for quite some time, so extra consideration needs to go in to formulating game plans and communicating expectations.  If your husband refuses to go to counseling, please don't stick around.  It's a sign of what's to come.

    I hope this all works out for you. 

    This is all really good advice and I couldn't have put it better.  Good luck with everything!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • imageMrsOjoButtons:

    Don't put the cart before the horse and try not to stress too much before you can take a pregnancy test (or twelve).  

    In the future, don't have unprotected sex with someone if your past sucked, your present is shaky, and your future is questionable.  

    IF it turns out you are pregnant, schedule an appointment for counseling through Military One Source and ask your husband to go with you.  You two need to make sure you're on the same page about parenting, and in the shorter term, how to deal with pregnancy and deployment.  If you've never lurked on the pregnancy boards, I'll give you a spoiler and let you know there are constantly women posting in CAPSLOCK about how much their husbands suck and how emotional they're being.  I can only imagine the state their marriages would be in with limited communication.  You and your husband appear (appear) to have a strike against you because it seems you've struggled heavily in that department for quite some time, so extra consideration needs to go in to formulating game plans and communicating expectations.  If your husband refuses to go to counseling, please don't stick around.  It's a sign of what's to come.

    I hope this all works out for you. 

    Yes

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  • It really depends on the two of you. I got pregnant and lost at 8 weeks with my now husband, but at the time we weren't married and had just gotten back together after 6 months apart. For him, it showed him that he was excited about having a family and made our relationship stronger even though we had to go through a loss together. It really depends on the person. Hope all goes well :)
    The Ross Family :)
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