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Preemies
gysberger04
member
I had a preemie 2 months ago and now my sister is in labor....
gysberger04
member
in Preemies
and I don't know what to think about it. She is 38w1d and her water broke a few hours ago, so her baby will likely be born tonight or tomorrow. We had a big falling out when I announced I was pregnant (she was mad that I 'beat' her and would have the first grandchild; I am the oldest of 7 kids - my due date was Dec. 21 and hers is Jan. 8th), and after I had DD 9 weeks early we have sort of patched things up. I think I have a mild form of PTSD from my experience in the hospital and have had a tough time seeing her be so far along in her pregnancy when I didn't get to experience that, and knew it would be tough for me when she had her baby, but now that it is here it is tougher than I thought. When I got the call that she was in labor my first thoughts were a) she's only 38 weeks so that's too early (even though I know she is term now), b) I should be in the hospital now, or just getting out with DS, but I'm not and c) images of my time on bedrest in the hospital and going downhill with pre-e fast when they said I needed a c-section immediately - so not the happy thoughts most people have when they have a sibling in labor. Am I out of whack for having these feelings? I know I should be very excited for her, but I just feel sad and am not looking forward to going to the hospital (yet another place where I can't take my baby because of RSV) to see a full term baby and see yet another experience I missed out on....I really just want to be happy 
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Re: I had a preemie 2 months ago and now my sister is in labor....
I think these are completely normal feelings. I have a friend who tried for awhile to get pregnant and she announced her pregnancy to me while I was in the NICU with DS. I am happy for her, but I am just not at a place where I wanted to sit around and discuss the joys and perils of pregnancy. I am 3 days from my due date and I still get sharp pangs of sadness when I see someone who is more pregnant than I ever got to be. When I hear about baby showers I get jealous that i never got to have mine. I hate these feelings and I am sure you do, too. The best advice I could give is just do the best you can to be there for your sister. ANd, if you are close enough, maybe tell her you are so happy for her but you are still having trouble getting through what happened to you.
I don't know if my response is any help, but at least know you are not alone in your feelings! {{Hugs}}
I have similar feelings, too. I feel heartbroken when I see girls I know who are pregnant - who were due BEFORE me - who are now at 34, 36, 38 weeks, etc. They look beautiful with their big bellies and I feel jealous that I was barely showing when I had my girl at 28 wks. I cried through my baby shower (both from being overwhelmed with love & generosity, but also because I dreamt of being big & pregnant during it). I cried the other day because I realized I have NO pictures of me pregnant. Not the first one. Because my pregnancy was rough and my delivery scary, and this terrifying NICU experience, we may not have another child. I don't know if my anxiety could handle it. So, the idea that I will never have a photo of me carrying a child makes me so sad. Really, most things make me pretty sad these days.
Anyways, to respond to you, no, I think your feelings are normal. Obviously you are happy for her, but it still stings when this whole NICU/preemie experience is so fresh for you. Congrats on becoming an aunt, and best wishes to you!
wow, I was just thinking some of these things this AM when I read an email thread I have going with some other new mommies I know.. their babies were both full term and experiencing things in a normal way and while I am SO SO SO thankful that my LO is here and doing well I am so jealous that my friends can go out and enjoy their babies and talk about sleeping through the night and breastfeeding while we struggle with her sensitive stomach and I struggle to produce enough BM and she only sleeps 3-4hrs at a time but only if she is on or next to me at night..
So I feel yah sistas! The other night after 2hrs of straight screaming my DH said that after this Remy might be an only child. I am an only and never minded but we both really wanted a big family.. we will see if we go for #2!
but dont beat yourself up over feeling this way.. when your LO is big and strong and running laps around the other kids this will all be a blur.. thats what I keep saying.