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Question... kind of long

MsJosieMsJosie
in Single Parents
So long story short... My ex never showed up to our court date (he's currently living in California with his mom and is expected to be back here in Illinois by the 3rd of January and he's going to want to see LO which he hasn't seen in 3 months) he's a come and go kinda dad. He only wants to see her when it's convenient for him or when he realizes that it's been a while since he's seen her. She is almost 10 months old and he has seen her maybe 8 or 9 times. So, during our court date an order was put in for him to start paying child support and his petition for custody/visitation was dismissed in court so he has no legal rights to my LO. We were never married btw. My lawyer suggested that I write him an email telling him just that and any further contact from him must be done through my attorney and he is not to contact me anymore. My question is how do I word this to write an email to him?? I'm at a loss for words.  The reason for the email is because all of the court papers that were mailed containing this information is sitting in his mailbox here in Illinois so he has no idea what happened with court. Boy is he going to get a nice slap in the face when he gets back!!! It makes me soo happy. He also may become raged and start problems with me so my lawyer wants me to write him an email first and block him before he can say anything to me. Any advice as to how I can compose this email to him would be greatly appreciated! TIA
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Re: Question... kind of long

  • JaiEmJaiEm member

    I have no clue how to word that. Maybe start off with Hey, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just wanted to update you about the court orders. I feel as you're not a stable father for our daughter and I don't think you should have visitation rights to her anymore.

    Something like that! GL 

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  • MsJosieMsJosie
    That's a good start for the letter. Thank you! However, it's not about me thinking he's not a good father and shouldn't have visitation rights to her anymore. The court order was dismissed so he DOESN'T have any rights to her. No visitation at all!!
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  • JaiEmJaiEm member

    imageMsJosie:
    That's a good start for the letter. Thank you! However, it's not about me thinking he's not a good father and shouldn't have visitation rights to her anymore. The court order was dismissed so he DOESN'T have any rights to her. No visitation at all!!

    I'd be doing a victory dance if I were you! LOL 

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    I recommend getting a copy of the CO from your attorney, scan it and email it to your ex and say, "Attached is the new CO dated _____. Any further contact regarding this needs to be directed to my attorney".BCC your attorney in the email that way it will be put in your file and that should be sufficient. 
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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member

    imagejobalchak:
    I recommend getting a copy of the CO from your attorney, scan it and email it to your ex and say, "Attached is the new CO dated _____. Any further contact regarding this needs to be directed to my attorney".BCC your attorney in the email that way it will be put in your file and that should be sufficient. 

     ^^This to a T.

    It needs to be worded in an almost professional and cold tone. Void of emotion.

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  • kmartinez80kmartinez80 member
    I agree with pp; the more professional and less emotional, the better. Really the email is just business, so it should be worded accordingly. Also, you could check to see if minute entries (which in my state is the CO) are available online in PDF format. I know they are in my state, so it may save you the hassle of copying, scanning, etc. Good luck!
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  • achase123achase123

    As businesslike and to the point as possible.  Something along the lines of:

    Ex,

     Attached you will find court documents outlining the parameters of the court order, as of (insert date here).  As per the attached document, the petition for custody and visitation has been dismissed.  If you have any further questions regarding the court order, please refer them to the friend of the court, at the number listed in the attached document.

    Sincerely,

    MsJosie

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  • dsmithplus2dsmithplus2

    I would simply say: "Just wanted to update you on things dealing with LO... I feel as though you are not a stable father and LO should not have to think it is okay for her father to see her 10 times a year whenever he feels that it is convenient for him. I don't think you should be able to have visitation rights and if you cannot respect this decision, I can take further action. Any further contact you have with me is to be done through my lawyer." Send. Block.

    If your lawyer feels he may become raged, he may be likely to show up at your house without informing you. If that happened, I wouldn't answer the doors or his calls (if he tries calling). Hope this helps.

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  • MsJosieMsJosie
    Thank you all for your input! It will be great help when I compose the email. I think I'll put in a little of everyone's comment. I just really wanna stick it to him in the email and tell him what a fuc$ up he is, a complete loser and to leave us ALONE!!! It's going to be soo hard to keep the email professional but I know I need to. I'll just kill him with kindness sort of speak! Thanks again everyone...
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