My almost 5 year old DS has had an autism diagnosis for a while now, and has been delayed since he was like 8 months old, so this isn't new to us. I feel like so often I find myself just sitting her and crying- for me and for him. I love him and he is the sweetest soul and seems happy most of the time, but I see what my younger son is doing and what other people's kids are doing- even silly things like just loving buzz lightyear and wanting his PJ's or bringing a different 'friend' down from his room every day. He is non-verbal and I feel like we know so little about him sometimes... I started to think I was psychotic at Disney when I was crying during the 'wishes' fireworks because it made me so sad that I didn't even know if he had any hopes or dreams, and if he does and he can't tell me how the hell am I supposed to help him see them?
Seriously, does this ever stop? I have good days where I think I'm dealing and then we are back to this again...
Re: Does it every get easier?
My oldest has an ASD dx and for us, YES, it does get better. The ages of 2-6 were the hardest. Now puberty has hit and we're struggling because she doesn't understand what is going on and she's an emotional basket-case on top of everything else. But I'm confident that it'll get better for us too in a while.
Just try to focus on the positive things about your child. I look at some of the issues that moms with kids my DD's age are going through (boy drama, school drama, snottiness, lying, talking back, taking forever in the bathroom) and I know I'll never have to deal with any of those. I know it's harder with autism, but I try to focus on the things that I like about her, rather than the difficult things.
Hope this helps.