Military Families

DH deploying to Afg. Looking for support

I guess I am looking for positive stories from those who have been there or whose loved ones have been there. My DH has been Navy Reserves pretty much from the time we met. I have no experience with deployments of any kind. When I think of Afghanistan,  all I can envision is a scary, awful place. Sorry for sounding so naive. I am freaked to be left alone with a 3 yo and a 1yo. We have no family nearby, and no military network for support. But I am more scared fo the well-being of my husband.Does anyone have any words of assurance or advice for me?

 Thank you. 

Re: DH deploying to Afg. Looking for support

  • imageAshC311:

    My H is in the Army National Guard.  Do you know if his unit has a family readiness group?  I'd get in contact with them and they can help you become more familiar with other family members of guys in his unit.  They'll be a great resource for local support.  I know our FRG is willing to help with anything from a broken toilet to help finding childcare. 

    I agree with what this poster said.  As far as your concerns for his safety, that is completely normal.  My DH has never been deployed to Afgan but his cousin who is in the Army National Guard has been deployed 2 times to Iraq and 1 time to Afgan.  He came back safe and sound each time.  I hope that perks your spirits up a little bit Big Smile

    Also if you want his spirits to be perked up when he's over there, I suggest sending him care packages full of goodies he can't get over there.  It definitely will boost his morale and keep him going.

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  • My DH was just in Afg. for 7 months.  Everyone in his unit returned home safe and sound, no injuries or anything.  We were eve able to Skype with him pretty much everyday, mind you he is Air Force, so he was at a base the entire time.  Hope this settles your nerves a bit.

    If you can, try to visit family.  We live overseas so I took my DD back to the States for a long visit to meet all of our family.  It helped pass the time and give me a break from time to time.  Also, getting involved with activities helps.  Taking your kids to playgroups, joining a gym, anything to keep busy.  I think getting involved with a group of spouses to rotate weekly dinners is a good idea too, that way you aren't always eating with just your kids.

    Praying for you and your family.  Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  People want to help, sometimes they just need someone to ask.

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  • My friend's husband just left for Afghanistan yesterday.  She's due with their first child in June, he's going to be gone for a year.  She has a blog if you want to read it, it's pretty good...today's entry brought tears to my eyes.

    It's called 'An Army of Two', I'm not trying to pimp it out but it might help to read about someone else going through this too.

     

    https://armyoftwodc.blogspot.com/

     

     

  • thanks again. and thanks for the blog.i will keep reading it. it does help esp b/c she is so positive. i wish i could feel that confident.
  • My husband has been in Afghanistan since September. He's in the Army. He's doing great and we are able to skype every day. My kids are 6, 4, and 18 months, so I know that it will be a challenge. But you CAN do it. The hardest part is the anticipation of him leaving and the first week when he leaves. After that, you'll be amazed by what you can do! Try to reach out to people. Even if they aren't military, find some people who can support you through this.
    My blog! Our kids: Natalie 6 Colton 4 Adelyn 1 1/2 Easton Si Hu (in Korea) 1 Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • My H is in Afghanistan. Skype doesn't work well for us, and his schedule doesn't allow for us to talk more than twice a week or so. I'm only telling you that so you realize that not everyone gets all the time contact. It really depends on your H's job and location. The most important thing is to keep busy and not wallow in how sad you are that your H is gone. I always say that I get to be married to him, and that means that the distance is just a part of it sometimes. I'll take it in exchange to be married to such an awesome dude. H will occasionally tell me about some dangerous thing that happened or whatever. I just don't think about it. I know that's easier said than done, but it all goes back to staying busy and trusting my H and the people around them to do their job well

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • Thank you, both of you who have your husbands over there. Good advice and just helpful hearing the "voice" of someone going through it.
  • My DH is also currently in Afghanistan. Skype does not work well for us either, and I have not heard from him for a couple weeks. But I know that he wishes he could be home with his girls (my daughter and myself) and that he will try to make contact when he can. It is hard, but you don't have a choice but to carry on and hope for the best. Kids keep you busy for sure - so that should help. For your LOs, I highly suggest, a recordable book and either a buildabear or a daddy doll, and taking a lot of pictures before he deploys.

    I make it a habit to let "daddy" read her (from the recordable book) a book every other night, so she remembers his voice (especially during the weeks he isn't around). 

    You'll get through it - and hopefully it'll make your marriage stronger. <Hugs>

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  • imageIvana.Stolichnaya:

    My friend's husband just left for Afghanistan yesterday.  She's due with their first child in June, he's going to be gone for a year.  She has a blog if you want to read it, it's pretty good...today's entry brought tears to my eyes.

    It's called 'An Army of Two', I'm not trying to pimp it out but it might help to read about someone else going through this too.

     

    https://armyoftwodc.blogspot.com/

     

    My husband will be deploying to Afg. in the summer of 2012 and our little one will only be 7 months old. Thanks for sharing this blog! I look forward to reading :)

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