Is this rude? MIL and SIL need a reality check... so angry

Laralaw3 · December 2011

Okay, so last week DH and I found out that we're having a boy! Yay!!! I was 17 wks to the day. I wasn't supposed to find out till January but my Sonographer is my boss' wife and told me she would take a peak for me before my appt with my Dr. if I wanted her too, uh ya! Who wouldn't? Well, she was extremely positive it was a boy, she showed my husband and I and it was pretty obvious!

So here is my issue... I love my MIL and SIL, to an extent. They really could never hurt a fly and are extremely helpful, however, they are eachothers BEST friends and aren't exactely my cup of tea in the friend catagory if you know what I mean. They're really nosey and don't have any other friends, bc they choose not to of course... sums them up, right? Well to start off they invited themselves to our 20 wk (they want to know the gender really bad), I said okay, no biggie. So we go to our 17 wk appt and find out the sex of the baby (Wasn't planned!). We call my MIL and she responds with "oh, thats interesting... are you sure it's a boy? You may want to wait to announce that everybody bc I don't think it's a boy." SIL "Oh wow? Its a boy? hmmmm, thats strange". (Keep in mind my SIL has a verrrrry snoody tone of voice all of the time). DH responds with "are you not excited mom?" MIL "we'll see at the 20 wk appt, I want a girl". Meanwhile, my excitement gets cruched and turns to anger. Annnnnyway, ive seen her multiple times over the holiday and she keeps telling me she's not going to believe it till she see's it. And is of course telling the whole family my sonographer doesn't know what the he** she's doing. All I wanted was a congratulations, she even asked me if I was dissapointed... what??? I guess my question for you guys is: Can I slap my M&SIL in the face? As much as I want to lay there at the 20 wk appt with a smile on my face and just enjoy the news of having a boy AGAIN, I want to look at the two of them and laugh in there face! Whats wrong with a boy! Can't we just wish for a healthy baby? I was so excited to hear that and now I feel terrible, almost like they are going to hold it against the poor little guy:( ugh... please, somebody be that evil red devil on my shoulder.

barbnsteve · December 2011

Honestly? People are ridiculous sometimes...you have every right to be mad. I would tell them they can't come to the 20 week u/s but that's just me!

kdumlao · December 2011

barbnsteve:
Honestly? People are ridiculous sometimes...you have every right to be mad. I would tell them they can't come to the 20 week u/s but that's just me!

kdumlao · December 2011

barbnsteve:
Honestly? People are ridiculous sometimes...you have every right to be mad. I would tell them they can't come to the 20 week u/s but that's just me!

I would say the same thing!! That is RIDICULOUS. Enjoy your happy, healthy, baby boy in your belly. Don't let them get to you.

cchill01 · December 2011

Wow, some people. I would be so looking forward to your 20week, so you can stick it to them. And in the mean time, I would buy all sorts of blue things.

Try not to let the morons spoil your excitement.

Discordia1030 · December 2011

Laralaw3:
I guess my question for you guys is: Can I slap my M&SIL in the face?

Lol! I'm so sorry they're being complete snots, but this totally made me laugh. Congrats on your boy! I hope you can hear those words from your family soon.

::hugs::

kloveny · December 2011

Revoke the invitation for them to come to the 20 week. It was super nice of you to let them come in the first place - nobody is coming to any of my u/s except my husband.

tuki06 · December 2011

Um I would tell them they can't come (nobody's invited to ours and I know they wanna be but too bad) or better yet change your appt and not tell them then go to it and just plead pregnancy brain about it "oh my gosh I totally forgot to tell you that the dr's office called and needed to change my appt and we had it yesterday" you get my drift. And who the hell say "well i want a girl" i mean honestly just be happy the baby is healthy my response to that would have been "well I want a normal MIL gues we can't always have what we want huh". Good luck to you I know what it's like to have a crazy MIL/SIL combo.

Laralaw3 · December 2011

Thank you! I'm so happy I wasnt over reacting. I think i'm going to wear all blue to the 20 wk, put on a canadian tuxedo and wear a t-shirt that say's i'm a boy with an arrow pointing to my belly. Let's just hope the gender is correct.. I would hate for them to be right and shove it in my face.

Laralaw3 · December 2011

Hahahaha, your response made me laugh. I think i'll just not mention anything to them, I don't even think I told them the time of the appt... maybe i'll invite my FOUR brothers to it. oops!

allisonmarie22 · December 2011

I would be angry, too.

We aren't finding out the sex, but my MIL keeps saying "I want at least one girl." She says it ALL the time. It makes me frustrated because 1) like I have any control over it and 2) I feel like me and my babies are going to be disappointments if they're both boys.

People are jerks. I would tell them that their comments are hurting your feelings and just not go around them anymore if they can't be positive and excited about the wonderful blessing that is coming their way.

0ashley · December 2011

I can't believe people say things like this! Even if they have a preference for a girl, there is always still a 50/50 chance it's a boy!!! Duh. I wouldn't slap them because I doubt it will do much good. However, if they are going to ruin your US then I'd ask them to stay home. Tell them you only want to be surrounded by supportive people- hopefully they get the hint.

returning_bump_member · December 2011

I agree with the PPs. I would not let them to the 20wk appt; it's not something they need to be included in. If you really want to take the high road, bring them a pic of the u/s that proves it's a beautiful baby boy. People are complete and total idiots.

I know how you feel when you say you want to smack them. When we told my MIL that it was a boy she replied with "I knew it was all along.. and you thought it was a girl!" Like I really wanted to hear that my intuition was wrong?! No "congratulations" or "yay my first grandchild is a boy"? Ugh I am so glad that after LO is born I'm moving 600 miles away from her!

tsuredraider · December 2011

Honestly, if you don't want them at the 20 week, don't have them there. I don't want ANYONE (other than the DH) with me at anything, a/s, fetal echo, when I have the baby, etc. Well, the DH told his grandmother (who were still not too happy with about her "I hope you have a girl" comment, when she knows we don't want one... It's called being supportive, not try to bring someone down, even if it is a girl) that I didn't want anyone even in the waiting room while I'm having the LO, she got all kinds of upset (we live 5 hours away from family). I know my SIL is going to be tripping all over herself to get here when I go into the labor and, if I have to, I will have L&D turn them away (our hospital will let us do that). The H hasn't told her yet, but I just want this to be a moment that just he and I share. I know she is going to throw a b*tch fit when he tells her, but I sticking to my guns on this one. Stick to your guns is my best advice.

MellyK12 · December 2011

Ugh....same thing happened to us over the holidays. We are having a girl and were so excited to tell DH's family because they only have boys in the family. His mother and father weren't excited...we got "are you sure it's not a boy?", "I'll believe it when I see it", "we don't have boys", "you can try for a boy next time", "maybe I'd help you move furniture if it was a nephew", etc. I'm still very upset about it but I just realized, their rudeness and negativity is a reflection of themselves. We are happy to be having a girl and I'm not going to let them ruin it.

DH and I agreed that none of his family is allowed to come to the 20 week ultrasound because of their behavior. I would not allow them to come if I were you. Who needs that negativity!?

naybird · December 2011

barbnsteve:
Honestly? People are ridiculous sometimes...you have every right to be mad. I would tell them they can't come to the 20 week u/s but that's just me!

Me too!!!

giggles0918 · December 2011

barbnsteve:
Honestly? People are ridiculous sometimes...you have every right to be mad. I would tell them they can't come to the 20 week u/s but that's just me!

I don't blame you for being upset. I would tell them they can't come to your appt. That's so rude to say....they should be hoping for a healthy baby.

Laralaw3 · December 2011

Thank you ladies! You seriously made my day, I was so angry with them and now I feel much better. I'm going to go to my appt with my head held high knowing that "oops" I forgot to remind them! Or I just forgot to answer my phone, sorry MIL & SIL! Yay for healthy babies and all of us being happy with what we are blessed with. Thanks again!

MrsL1022 · December 2011

wow! I would bepissed that is beyond rude. I would disinvite them to the 20 week b/c it's likely the last u/s you will have and it sounds like they will ruin the experience for you. congratulations on your little boy. Boys are wonderful.

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Is this rude? MIL and SIL need a reality check... so angry

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