VERY interesting article

WeWearCombatBoots · December 2011

Great article on maternity leave. You won't believe how much they recommend is ideal. And the article even suggest that mother's going back too soon can lead to increased infant deaths. I was only able to take 6 weeks since I'm in the military, I wish I would have been able to take so much more to be with my son. I wish the government would take notice of this kind of research and require employers to give mothers more time off with their children.

https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/12/maternity_leave_how_much_time_off_is_healthiest_for_babies_and_mothers_.html

Kougl Wife to Be! · December 2011

I will admit, I didn't read the article yet, but really 6 weeks because you are in the military is b*llsh*t. What about your FMLA rights?! Come on US Govn't pull it together! We as a country are so behind in this sense it is ridiculous!

mexicolombiana · December 2011

The article is interesting. I didn't have time to look at the studies while at work here but I would want to read up on the studies more.

As far as us poor moms who have to haul our butts back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, we can beat those stats by getting good daycare providers, making sure we continue BFing and pumping every day at work to continue benefiting our children with breastmilk (when possible) and making sure we are on top of our kid's doctors appointments etc.

That's how I handle having to go back to work so quickly after giving birth. I just do the best I can when I get home from work and spend the best quality time with my child on weekends. It's unfortunate that I don't get more than 6 weeks time off either for maternity leave, but I don't see this changing in our country any time soon. I'm actually lucky I get 6 weeks paid from what I've seen.

Our country is indeed backwards when it comes to certain things.

TheNewMrsCfont · December 2011

I work for a very large Swedish company and it irks me to no end when I get an email reply that says something like "I will be on maternity leave for the next 15 months, please contact X." Meanwhile I am arguing here in the US to get my 3 months of unpaid leave bc my due date is 1 day shy of me being emloyed here a year.

vigurl · December 2011

Kougl Wife to Be!:
I will admit, I didn't read the article yet, but really 6 weeks because you are in the military is b*llsh*t. What about your FMLA rights?! Come on US Govn't pull it together! We as a country are so behind in this sense it is ridiculous!

Yes

I think we should get at least one yr! I don't even care if it is paid or not!

Mrs.T22308 · December 2011

I think women need to take off what is right for them.

There is NO WAY I'd want to stay home for a year (or even 6 months). I was quickly slipping into depression being at home with DS, and I only took 5 1/2 weeks off, and worked a few hours here and there in that time. I will do the same with DD in a few weeks. As much as I love my kids, I cannot stay at home with them. I am able to work and still give them all the attention and love they need while taking care of the home. Aty the same time I have friends who LOVe being home with their kids and not work.. to each their own!

I do wish I worked a little less (say 30 hours versus 40) as that would make my life a little less stressful LOL

mylittlesunshine · December 2011

mexicolombiana:
As far as us poor moms who have to haul our butts back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, we can beat those stats by getting good daycare providers, making sure we continue BFing and pumping every day at work to continue benefiting our children with breastmilk (when possible) and making sure we are on top of our kid's doctors appointments etc.
That's how I handle having to go back to work so quickly after giving birth. I just do the best I can when I get home from work and spend the best quality time with my child on weekends. It's unfortunate that I don't get more than 6 weeks time off either for maternity leave, but I don't see this changing in our country any time soon. I'm actually lucky I get 6 weeks paid from what I've seen.

Yes

I think trying to remain positive about your situation is the best thing. I too only got 6 weeks (unpaid) and it was really hard. But, I kept a positive attitude and we have a wonderful in home daycare provider. I pumped while at work and nursed when we were together. I make the most out of my and DD's time together when I am home.

We have friends who live in Germany and she got a year off after giving birth. I would have loved that opportunity, but don't see our country going that direction anytime soon....sigh.....

MammaBear81 · December 2011

I think I'm part of the UO here but as much as I would LOVE to take a year off from work (and get paid for it) I don't think that would be good for the economy, or for women of child bearing age. If you are interviewing for a job and the employer takes into account that you might be out for 40 paid weeks at a time, they might reconsider hiring you. Is this discrimination? yes, but there really isn't any way to prove it.

It's not your employers job to figure out how to pay for your maternity leave, it's yours. I'd agree that it is a good idea for an extended amount of unpaid time off, knowing you will have a job to come back to, but I don't think your employer should be held liable to pay for it.

I've had 5 kids and the only paid maternity leave I was able to take was for my 5th (4 weeks paid plus accrued vacation time). My children made it to all of their Dr appointments, and were BF for 6-10 months why? because it was important to me. It doesn't matter when you go back to work, you do what's important to you.

aglenn · December 2011

MammaBear81:

I think I'm part of the UO here but as much as I would LOVE to take a year off from work (and get paid for it) I don't think that would be good for the economy, or for women of child bearing age. If you are interviewing for a job and the employer takes into account that you might be out for 40 paid weeks at a time, they might reconsider hiring you. Is this discrimination? yes, but there really isn't any way to prove it.

I agree with this. I just don't see how it could work logistically without hurting women's opportunities in the workplace. Maybe someone from Canada can chime in and dispute that, but I can't picture it.

Yes, it's harder to breastfeed and make all of those appointments and everything when you're working, but it is not impossible. You make it work and do what's best for your child. Of course, I realize I am fortunate to be in a salaried position at a flexible workplace that is supportive of family issues. I think that is the real key and where we should focus -- making workplaces more family-friendly, not extending mat leave.

efsNYC13 · December 2011

Thank you for sharing this.

I don't think the burden should be on an individual employer or employee to pay for this: its a societal consideration. If everyone is expected to take X amount of time and our country decides to prioritize it, it won't harm the company or economy because it can be planned for. With all of these "family values" political candidates, its kind of a scam that no one really wants women to have the opportunity to do whats best for their families.

I also think employers should realize that if they are not flexible about hours it makes life more difficult for their employees and may also affect productivity. Definitely unpopular to note, but I think that my first few weeks back I was a lot less productive because I was very concerned with what was going on at home. I also no longer stay even a minute late because I want to get home to feed the baby. If he was no longer breastfed, I could theoretically stay a bit late to finish things up. I assume when he's a bit older, I'll be closer to how I was pre-baby. I hate to admit that being a mom has changed how I do my job, but it definitely has.

RoxyLynn · December 2011

MammaBear81:

I think I'm part of the UO here but as much as I would LOVE to take a year off from work (and get paid for it) I don't think that would be good for the economy, or for women of child bearing age. If you are interviewing for a job and the employer takes into account that you might be out for 40 paid weeks at a time, they might reconsider hiring you. Is this discrimination? yes, but there really isn't any way to prove it.

I agree. It's also unfair to men and people who don't have children. My agency gives paid maternity leave (besides FMLA), but if you need to leave town for a month to take care of a dying relative, or write your dissertation for your Ph.D., etc. you're on your own.

babyrawks · December 2011

Mrs.T22308:
I think women need to take off what is right for them.

There is NO WAY I'd want to stay home for a year (or even 6 months). I was quickly slipping into depression being at home with DS, and I only took 5 1/2 weeks off, and worked a few hours here and there in that time. I will do the same with DD in a few weeks. As much as I love my kids, I cannot stay at home with them. I am able to work and still give them all the attention and love they need while taking care of the home. Aty the same time I have friends who LOVe being home with their kids and not work.. to each their own!

I do wish I worked a little less (say 30 hours versus 40) as that would make my life a little less stressful LOL

Living in Canada, I do get up to a year of EI once baby comes. That said, I plan to go back as soon as my body is up to it. Our plan is for hubby to be a SAHD with me going back to work. Will this be the case if we have another child? No idea, but this go around, that's our plan.

Matt Dvorak · December 2011

vigurl:
Kougl Wife to Be!:
I will admit, I didn't read the article yet, but really 6 weeks because you are in the military is b*llsh*t. What about your FMLA rights?! Come on US Govn't pull it together! We as a country are so behind in this sense it is ridiculous!

I think we should get at least one yr! I don't even care if it is paid or not!

That's how I feel - I took 13 weeks unpaid and then have been part time for odd hours for another 7 (I work while DH is home). My LO will be 20 weeks when he starts daycare in a week. If I wasn't already pushing it the way it is, I would totally try to get more time.

WinesNotWhines · December 2011

Interesting article. My office gives up to 6 months (unpaid) maternity leave, which I thought was reasonable.

itsmevkb · December 2011

I work for the government and don't get a paid maternity leave so I know we aren't anywhere close to getting something like a year off of paid leave for everyone in the US when the federal government doesn't even provide any paid maternity leave or even short term disability to their own employees.

Would I want a year off? Not an entire year all at once, but I would like it if I could bank that year of leave and then use it as I decide is best. I would much prefer to have off more time as my kids get older rather than be at home their first year of life.

KathrynMD · December 2011

efsNYC13:

Thank you for sharing this.

I don't think the burden should be on an individual employer or employee to pay for this: its a societal consideration. If everyone is expected to take X amount of time and our country decides to prioritize it, it won't harm the company or economy because it can be planned for. With all of these "family values" political candidates, its kind of a scam that no one really wants women to have the opportunity to do whats best for their families.

I also think employers should realize that if they are not flexible about hours it makes life more difficult for their employees and may also affect productivity. Definitely unpopular to note, but I think that my first few weeks back I was a lot less productive because I was very concerned with what was going on at home. I also no longer stay even a minute late because I want to get home to feed the baby. If he was no longer breastfed, I could theoretically stay a bit late to finish things up. I assume when he's a bit older, I'll be closer to how I was pre-baby. I hate to admit that being a mom has changed how I do my job, but it definitely has.

This is the part that bugs me - this is about doing what's best for our country/our children/our future - so, just like other benefits the government provides for the good of all, paid maternity leave should also be provided.

Jaylea · December 2011

efsNYC13:

Thank you for sharing this.

I don't think the burden should be on an individual employer or employee to pay for this: its a societal consideration. If everyone is expected to take X amount of time and our country decides to prioritize it, it won't harm the company or economy because it can be planned for. With all of these "family values" political candidates, its kind of a scam that no one really wants women to have the opportunity to do whats best for their families.

I also think employers should realize that if they are not flexible about hours it makes life more difficult for their employees and may also affect productivity.

I agree with this. Every single other first world country has figured it out - along with quite a few 2nd and even 3rd world countries. So to state that it just can't be done is wrong. We, as in people in the US, are just not making a it a priority. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave

I'm sick of this live to work mentality. We all bust our butts, and are guilted about taking time for our families when they/we need it. For what? To make someone at the top more money? The rest of us certainly aren't making it anymore. Perhaps our system worked well when 1 parent in the home FT was the norm. But it doesn't work now.

Jaylea · December 2011

RoxyLynn:

I agree. It's also unfair to men and people who don't have children. My agency gives paid maternity leave (besides FMLA), but if you need to leave town for a month to take care of a dying relative, or write your dissertation for your Ph.D., etc. you're on your own.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but in Canada, I believe either parent can take the leave - it's up to the individual families to make this decision.

And FMLA certainly does allow for time off, unpaid, to care for a sick or dying relative in the US - male or female.

Lastly, when you're talking about things like STD - this is precisely because a woman has a medical issue that requires time off from work. A friend of H's thought he might be eligible for STD when his wife had their daughter... which is absurd since he's not the one giving birth and thus requiring time off to recover. If men were the ones birthing children and breastfeeding, I dare say that our nation would have a very different approach to things like maternity leave.

KathrynMD · December 2011

Jaylea:

RoxyLynn:

I agree. It's also unfair to men and people who don't have children. My agency gives paid maternity leave (besides FMLA), but if you need to leave town for a month to take care of a dying relative, or write your dissertation for your Ph.D., etc. you're on your own.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but in Canada, I believe either parent can take the leave - it's up to the individual families to make this decision.

And FMLA certainly does allow for time off, unpaid, to care for a sick or dying relative in the US - male or female.

Lastly, when you're talking about things like STD - this is precisely because a woman has a medical issue that requires time off from work. A friend of H's thought he might be eligible for STD when his wife had their daughter... which is absurd since he's not the one giving birth and thus requiring time off to recover. If men were the ones birthing children and breastfeeding, I dare say that our nation would have a very different approach to things like maternity leave.

Ditto that!

I continue to be surpirsed by the "fairness" issue and that somehow women w/ children are "getting one over" on their employers by taking maternity leave. It BEHOOVES are society as a whole to raise children that are strong and healthy and part of this foundation of a healthy and strong next generation is givng parents and children time to form a loving and strong bond with each other.

rubber_chicken · December 2011

MammaBear81:

If you are interviewing for a job and the employer takes into account that you might be out for 40 paid weeks at a time, they might reconsider hiring you. Is this discrimination? yes, but there really isn't any way to prove it.

It's very easy to counteract this - make it parental leave, not maternity leave. So for each child, a mother can take up to 6 months and a father can take up to 6 months. They do this in one of the Scandanavian countries.

I also agree that it shouldn't be the employer only who pays for maternity leave - it should be like unemployment, where employers, employees and the government all pitch into the fund.

babyrawks · December 2011

rubber_chicken:
MammaBear81:

If you are interviewing for a job and the employer takes into account that you might be out for 40 paid weeks at a time, they might reconsider hiring you. Is this discrimination? yes, but there really isn't any way to prove it.
I also agree that it shouldn't be the employer only who pays for maternity leave - it should be like unemployment, where employers, employees and the government all pitch into the fund.

EI should cover costs to take mat leave.

Spenjamins · December 2011

Are people really debating an article that says working mom's kids are sicker and More stupid than SAHM's kids? Honestly ladies, lay off the Christmas eggnog.

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